Intro music: “There is a Dark Place” by Tom Rosenthal
Hi, I’m Jordan.
HO HO HO! And I’m…
Santa? Is it really you?
[Deep voice] Yes. Give me all the cookies and milk in your house but make it oat milk because I am allergic to dairy.
[High pitched voice] That’s fantastic! That’s all I had anyways, It’s oaty!
[Deep voice]. Yeah.
(Regular Voice) Welcome to-
You are on the naughty list for making such a weird- weird word joke that I’m not sure if it was a pun or a play on words, or you just said oaty [Laughter]. It’s bad humor.
Lex (00:01:02):You’re supposed to have a- Aren’t you supposed to have a nominated for best podcast comedy 2020?
I don’t know what podcast they were listening to. [Laughter]
Well, uhh looks like another stocking full of coal for you.
[Back to normal voice] I’m Lex.
Hey Lex! Thanks for joining us.
I’m not Santa. Santa isn’t real.
[Gasp]. We can’t say that on the podcast, I’m gonna to have to bleep that out.
Uh, birds aren’t real, Santa’s not real.
Okay, birds aren’t real.
Pants aren’t real.
Pants are also not real. Like one of these things is not like the other in this case, cause Santa is very real.
Pants are an illusion, just like death. Name that show!
Is that from a show? Or are we building a show off of that?
No, it’s- it’s from a TV show. As I live and breathe, pants are an illusion, just like death. I think that’s the quote or, and so is death!
Is it ‘Cutthroat Kitchen’?
Oh. I mean, okay. You know, of all the shows that you could have guessed, that does seem the most. Like that seems the most likely from the quote. Without any context, I- I think that was a very educated guess and I appreciate that.
But no. It is in fact, uh, first of two parts of the mid-season finale of book three of ‘Avatar the Last Airbender: Fire’. It’s the episode where they are invading the fire nation during a solar eclipse.
The darkest day in fire nation history, and the weird swamp dude who-
Doesn’t wear pants, and then someone makes a comment about how he doesn’t wear pants. And he’s like ‘pants are an illusion, and so is death!’.
That tracks- that makes a lot of sense. I was wondering if this was like an emperor’s new clothes kind of thing, where like, you know, the pants are an illusion and then do you just got to the ass out or- Okay. That makes sense though.
Right on. Um, this is ‘Or Learn Parkour. Say uhh, a podcast
But ADHD. Emphasis on the ‘D’.
I heard it- I heard it when you said it, and I didn’t want to go there, but here we are!
[In deep voice] HO HO HO!
Guess that’s what you’re getting-
Extreme horny Santa!
[Laughter]. I don’t like this bit.
Mom come pick me up! I’m going to go home. [Laughter].
Uh, I did warn you that I would have some energy for you.
You did, but I was still not prepared.
Yeah. Currently in the stoods today-
We’re doing stoods now?
If you get to do sosh meeds. I’m going to say stoods.
Come up with their own style of abbreviation, come on.
Come up with your own style of abbreviation.
Yea, you could go like-
The common English, and otherwise language mechanic where you just shorten words. And it’s the same. Everyone shortens words. You don’t have a monopoly on that. Who are you? Mark Zuckerberg. No, you don’t have a monopoly on anything. [Laughter] Jordan, Jordan, listen.
Well I’m just saying there’s a lot of range. You could’ve put in an ‘S’ at the end, like meeds. You could’ve put like a ‘Y’ at the end and made it like a cute little nickname, like stoody.
I did put an S at the end. I said stoods. And if you play the record back.
No, I know you said-
Judge and jury. You just said, That I didn’t use an ‘S’. Judge and jury, she’s not even making any sense. I demand order in the court. [Hits table].
Can you maybe not hit the table when the mic is on, please? That’s what I would like for christmas.
May I also just point out though, you do that shit all the time, when we’re recording.
I will also try and stop doing it. If that makes you feel better.
Yeah. Uh, so anyways, in the studio here.
I’m just wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket.
You share are.
And for the first time in Or, Learn Parkour history, I am not the one behind the computer.
Speaker 3 (00:05:00):
This is true. This is true. I am to use a vaguely festive metaphor taking the reins of this year, sleigh and, uh, the mic is hooked up to my computer. I don’t know if that’s notable or not.
It’s not super notable, but it does make sense in the context of me hitting the table.
This is true.
And you being very taken aback.
This is true. It does. But I’m glad that you get to sit back and relax and have your, your Sodi and your fluffy cozy blanket because it’s cozy season. Here we are. In the holidays. We are recording on the evening of the 10th. So I believe that Hanukkah is just starting happy Hanukkah for folks who celebrate. We are-
Yea, happy Hanukkah.
-sprinting at an alarming pace towards many other winter holidays. We got Christmas. We got Festivus. We got Kwanzaa. We got new year’s. We got Yule. We got all of reasons to eat as I see it. So we’re here today to.
You hope hopefully you are eating outside of holidays.
Oh yeah, no, I, yes, I am.
I just want to add that blanket statement there, please eat.
That’s a very fair caveat. I am eating normal food, but now I get to eat holiday food, like peppermint things, big fan of peppermint season. Like I won’t lie first peppermint mocha of the season way bigger deal to me than my first pumpkin spice latte of the season. Like, eh, that’s fine. But like first morning that is like, crisp enough. You go, you get that red cup or whatever color they are the season, but you get your Starbucks cup. You get that little, you know, cold spicy. You get that creamy chocolate. You get the whip on top. It’s it’s a near and dear holiday experience to my heart.
Meanwhile, I roll up to Starbucks and I’m like, Hey, can I get a venti peach, green tea lemonade in December. Thank you. Yes. Sweetened.
I respect your consistency. We need that in the world today.
I can’t have coffee, so-
That’s okay. More for me.
Yes. Well, hopefully you don’t just, wow. Okay. Let’s say that I was going to drink coffee. Let’s take the one month that I did drink coffee, and you drink that coffee as well as the coffee you already drink, you would be dead.
How much coffee did you drink that month?
Uh, each day I was averaging about like, I was having lattes and cold brews but the cold brews, I did not realize were the concentrated.
Yeah, no. So like, yeah, like two cold brews and like a latte. Uh
Yeah, I did just the cold brew by myself once. I thought I was going to be like a little crafty Beaver and make my own, soaked it overnight, got those coffee grounds in there made my own cold brew, was like, oh, this makes sense. You filter out the grounds and why would I keep reading the directions? Then you have coffee. Did not realize you were supposed to dilute it. And I just drank it straight on my way to work. And I got to the Daymond blue line station and I was like, this seems like a normal morning. Why am I having an anxiety attack? It was the cold brew.
Yeah, no. So I, I actually am going to say, not more for you just drink the amount of caffeine that you are comfortable with and that your body feels good about.
Okay. Thank you for that little kernel of wisdom.
I got to bring something useful to the table
Besides horny Santa?
That’s what I’m saying. That’s not useful.
No, it isn’t.
So you know, I got to bring something. Okay. So, um,
We are in the studio today with Jordan and lex and horny Santa and
[Inaudible] don’t let him stay in the space.
No. Yeah. Horny Santa you can, you can go. I’m sure you have a lot to do tonight.
Ho Ho Hoes. [Extended laughter]
Ooh. Okay. Oh, y’all I am so sleepy.
Oh, and yet you bring such energy to this blanket Fort. I respect your, whatever it is. You’ve got going on there. I don’t know.
I don’t even know what I’ve got going on over here. [Laughter]
Jordan has to live with me. So like,
Well, I feel like it balances out because you also have to live with me. So
I guess, I will say if I’m sleepy, I usually just go sleep.
So, and I think you also do that, so we don’t normally overlap too much.
In sleepiness, no. Cause I think my main sleepiness allotment is mornings [inaudible] and we are not around each other in the morning. So either I am out of the house way before you’re awake or I am asleep.
When I leave. Yes.
So yeah. I don’t ever have to put up with tired Jordan cause she’s she’s the worst.
Oh yeah. I guess. I wouldn’t know, because I haven’t spent much time around morning, Jordan Morton.
Mortan. [Laughter] We are joined in the studio today by Jordan, lex, the Starbucks and Mortan.
Okay. I’ll say it, but not horny Santa.
No he’s out. He’s not welcome back in this blanket.
Got some stuff to work on. I think so, Jordan, you told me a little bit about this episode, and I was quite excited. Cause it sounds like we heard from some of our friends at home.
We sure did.
But like what are we, what are we doing here? It’s the end of 2020?
It’s the holidays, but it’s different.
It is. It is. But it is still the holidays. We still have a lot of things to celebrate. And today we’re gonna have a little festive Christmas episode and we’re going to talk about what it’s like to get through the holidays with ADHD. We’re going to talk about our holidays. We’re gonna, like you mentioned, answer some listener questions and share a very good holiday-DHD story. Um, that I’m excited.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Was that holiday holiday-DHD?
It sure was.
Holiday-DHD. Is that a thing or did you just-
It’s a thing now.
Ugh, I hate you. I hate you so much.
And if the rumors are true, we may even have an ADH-dad joke before we wrap up this episode. So, uh, I know how much you love those. So I, I came up with one special just for you.
Wow. Who’s from the Midwest now.
Okay. Um, so what’s, let’s take me through it. [inaudible] What are we doing? Uh, jingle jingle. Jingle jingle mother […].
So first we’re going to do-
[Clicking noises] oh, reindeer on the roof.
Did you ever give them carrots when you were a kid, like, was that a thing you would leave the carrots for the reindeer, with the cookies for Santa?
No, I knew Santa wasn’t real when I was probably three or four.
Did you stop believing? I guess you were the youngest so.
By a lot.
Did that just stop any sort of Santa’s activity in your house?
I think so. I have a memory of spying after my bedtime and seeing my parents putting the presents under the tree. I don’t know if I fabricated that or if it was real either way lost my faith in Santa very early on in my family was pretty like, Oh, that’s from Santa wink. So we didn’t really leave the cookies and milk out because gross, we had pets. That’s fair. And even if it’s like up on the mantle, the cat could get up on the mantle and like, you know, leaving a glass of milk out that Milo would just knock off the mantle and..
That’s your cat’s Christmas present actually, is getting to make a huge mess.
He just did that all the time-
Merry Christmas Milo.
-I think because you know,cats.
Yeah. Milo was so cool. Okay. So, um, no, I mean, I think it’s partially because I have a younger brother, so the Santa thing kind of kept going longer than I was like, Oh yes, there is a man who breaks into our home in the middle of the night, once a year. But I feel like even after we’re both kind of like, yeah, okay. Santa’s whatever. We’d just left cookies out because then my parents, they got up to leave our presents in the middle of the night.
And I love that tradition, mom and dad. You earned those even though you bought them or made them most of the time so.
But you extra earned them.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I do remember though, when I was wee Lassie and I danced, the dance studio would send us home for winter break with bags, full of like oats and glitter. It was supposed to be like magic reindeer food. And you would sprinkle it on your lawn. And I realize in retrospect, like how horrific for the environment, just dumping glitter In your lawn is but I was very charmed by the idea at the time.
What a waste of oats you, cause you can’t do, you’ve mixed, glitter in with the oats. You can’t give those to horses or reindeer or any sort of behooved animal.
I think that the thought behind it was, they were magic oats for magic reindeer that ostensibly don’t operate by the exact same, like gastrointestinal laws.
But I’m saying as adults who know that magical reindeer were not going to eat any of this stuff. Like they just sent oats and glitter to just people’s homes. And they were like, put it on the lawn kids and for your parents in the environment and any animal that eats oats and can’t have these now I’m sure this is great for the birds and the local wildlife like woof, not to sorry, not to harsh. It’s a very cute idea in theory. But my horse girl brain is just like [inaudible].
Was like what now?
[Whinnying] Ho Ho Ho, he’s back!
No! You are hereby banished from the studio horny Santa.
[Deep voice] Banish me again.
I’m not, uh, capable of being fake horny or sexy in the way that our dear friend Sean Hendrickson is, uh, this is why I am not a professional game master, or dungeon master.
We all have our place in the friend group. [inaudible]
Mine is just being sexy naturally.
This is true. Mine is the one who’s like, you know, from a cake decorating standpoint, there is edible glitter. So you could have just done that would have been safe for wildlife. You still get the Christmas magic in there and it’s not an eco-disaster.
Why didn’t you stop them?
I was like eight!
Well figure it out.
Okay, cool. Let me just go back in time, go find my eight year old self be like, Hey Jordan, I look exactly like you don’t worry about it. And don’t worry about the fact that a complete stranger just pulled you aside. Very intently. I know you’ve been told to freak out about that, but this time it’s fine. Don’t tell your parents, you know, I’m from the future. And the one thing you need to know about the past is that the glitter that they give you at the dance class was bad for the environment. And then I come back to 2020, I think if I could go back in time and talk to my younger self, that’s probably not the priority.
I’m sorry. You feel that way about the ecology of the Tri-Cities area of Washington, you know,
That’s, that is the real problem with my hometown. That is the most pressing ecological issue.
Definitely not any of the nuclear [inaudible].
On the edge of the most contaminated nuclear site in the country. The glitter’s definitely number one. We’ll deal with the uranium later. Anyways.
So shall we do some questions?
Yeah. Lead us into it.
All right. I’m just going to pop right in with both my feet at one.
Let’s jump right into that chimney,
Keeping it festive. Thank you so much, Lex. So what is your favorite and least favorite part about having ADHD during the holidays? Or like getting through the holidays with ADHD?
And this is the question for me.
It’s for both of us.
Okay. For both with, sorry, again, I have no idea what’s going on. Uh, this is very fun for me. Probably a nightmare for Jordan. Do you have things you’re ready and have..
Sure. Do you want me to do that? Will you think of something? Yes. Okay. So
You have caught me, caught me in my, in my act here.
I got you. I got you. That’s why we’re, we’re co-hosts sweet support and lift each other, like a good bra, which is coincidentally what I would like for Christmas. Cause all of mine are worn out anyways. I would say my least favorite part about the holidays is my-.
Boobs! Sorry. I was just trying to think of something to add to the bra conversation and that’s all I got.
No, my, I think my boobs are up there more like close to the favorite part of the holidays.
Yeah, no, sorry. I think I was just like, I didn’t actually listen to any words you said there was just a slight pause and I was like, now’s my chance. Tiddies!
Did you get it? Did you get the tiddies in?
Yeah. I mean I did.
Okay. Do you feel better now?
So what’s your, what’s your favorite part?
Um, well was going to be my least favorite part first, so we could like end on a positive note. So my least favorite part is my tendency to over-commit definitely shows up during the holidays and I always get very ambitious with like, I’m going to do all these holiday events and this is the first year we’ve managed to mail Christmas cards out after like three years of wanting to do it.
Well I haven’t even done it yet. We don’t have enough stamps. It’s okay.
We can buy some more support the USPS that’s going to be fine, especially with like making Christmas gifts because I love making Christmas gifts for people, but I overestimate the time and attention I have for that and underestimate my ability to just buy things on the internet.
Do you have any specific examples of, uh, making things for people that maybe haven’t gone the way you planned?
I mean, I definitely have yarn in my suitcase right now for projects that I started before I lived in Chicago. So I bought this yarn intending to finish a project and then move to Chicago and I didn’t finish it. So I carted the yarn 2000 miles out here to Chicago. And I’m now taking it back to Washington unfinished.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, we also have a sewing machine in the apartment and uh, if I recall correctly, there was some sort of..
Yeah. I tried to make an apron but the sewing machine broke and then I fixed it and I finished the apron and it was fine. What are you talking about? I don’t know.
Oh, okay. That means, something about that story. Doesn’t seem quite, doesn’t quite jog with my memory. Can you can maybe just give me like a few more details to see if I can, uh, you know, just really get that mind meld between us going.
So I very graciously drafted by myself and began making an apron for your boyfriend for Christmas last year. And I got very close to finishing it before Christmas and then the sewing machine broke and after Christmas it just kind of didn’t seem like a huge priority and then the pandemic hit. So there were not a lot of places to take the sewing machine to get it fixed. Um, so it was about June I think, when we got it sorted out when I finished the apron.
Yeah. So, uh, but what, uh, cause we went there, I think it was down on like the, like West side, somewhere kind of near Logan. Uh, what did they say? Cause you, you, you went in and then you came out pretty soon after that. I was just re-parking my soob. Yeah.
They said that, um, the insides of the sewing machine had been replaced by chicken livers, which I just didn’t understand, but they, they cleaned it right out.
And you know, I, I seem to remember that, um, Oh, sewing machine wasn’t actually broken that, um, the, uh, the needle was just, or the, was it, the needle was in backwards.
You know, I could see, I could see how that could happen to somebody. If they bought a used sewing machine on like Facebook marketplace. Cause it was all they could afford. And it was a very old model and they weren’t used to working with that kind of sewing machine before. And they were working really quickly and trying to get the stupid apron done. So like, I could see how that could happen to somebody really understandably. Um, but no, it was chicken livers.
Yeah. So, uh, one more question. Uh, what did, what did my boyfriend get you?
He got me a t-shirt.
From, from who?
A band in Seattle that I enjoy.
How much, did he, he gave it to you before Christmas, right? Or after Christmas. Around Christmas time.
It was, was it, was it Cataldo?
Was it one of their new merch shirts from last year’s collection?
It was. You will, you will note, listeners, that he didn’t make it. He’s not a t-shirt maker in Seattle. I deserve some credit here.
Oh no, you didn’t have so much credit. And it is a great apron. You did finish it. You gave it to him in the summer. It was wonderful. He loved it. I just love to tease Jordan about this and we don’t have to put any of this in.
No, it’s it’s, it’s totally fine.
But I just need, need to know that I may be the like registered certified himbo of the two of us. But Jordan does have..
Sometimes I just have to carry the weight for you. And I will do that for you because it’s, you’re my best friend.
Yeah. When you saw that there was only one set of footprints in the sand, that’s where the Himbo carried you.
So. Some times people just get surprise gifts in the middle of the year, and I’m sure that that’s very fun for them. And sometimes you try your best, but despite that your sewing machine is still filled with chicken livers, what can you do?
Nope. Yeah. Well, thank you, Bobby Yaga.
Thank you so much for that special, special gift. I will not question it too much.
Yeah. Well you do have a book called ask Baba Yaga. So we probably could ask Bobby Yaga some things.
I don’t think that there’s anything in there about chicken livers, but.
Maybe there is now, the Baba Yaga works in mysterious ways.
Speaker 4 (00:24:48):
So what are you asking Baba Yaga for, for Christmas this year?
You know, I would love to ask Bobby Yaga how to get those big, tall chicken legs to carry me around, you know? I have very short legs and I am not a very tall person and I can’t move very quickly.
Is this like replace your legs with chicken legs or just a full other set of chicken legs. Like-
Like stilts or like a cart that you just sit in. Or maybe it’s like one of those little scooters that you have in PE with the four wheels on the bottom, except instead of the wheels. That’s chicken legs. I take it back. It should be the third one. Cause that sounds dope.
I was just imagining that I could learn how to make my own home in the woods with legs.
Also a decent option, also decent option, but I like my scooter thing better. So
Yeah. I mean the good news is that you can ask Baba Yaga for a chicken leg scooter.
I will, I will do that.
Chicken leg scooter would be a good band name.
Oh yeah. It would. What kind of music do you think they play?
Ska butt [laughter] Go on.
Shoe gaze. [laughter]
Oh, I should’ve seen that coming. Yeah. Can you imagine just
A wall of sound that blurs together and you need earplugs to listen to safely, but with horns.
Yep. By Brian David Gilbert. [laughter] Feel like, with legs that long, it’s a long way to gaze, you know.
Or, but here’s the thing. Hm. You have a much wider gaze. Think of that vantage point.
True. True. You could gaze at so many shoes. We’ve just, we’ve just broken the genre right open. Incredible.
And add on top of that though. You’re not even going to get distracted by your own shoes cause you won’t have any because chickens don’t have shoes.
Good point. Good point. So
You can just, you can put all that energy into looking at other shoes.
Possibilities are endless. All right. Now that we’ve been doing a bit about, uh, Baba Yaga for like a couple minutes, have you thought of your favorite or least favorite part of the holidays?
Yeah. Uh, so my favorite thing about the holidays is the, okay. Now hear me out. I’m hearing you the fact that know, okay, this is very region specific to not the United States. Uh, and so this is a very specific favorite of mine because when I lived in the UK, the Christmas time that I lived in the UK, every place that I went in public, every place like any sort of shop store, public transpo, any sort of public place, the words and vocals of Paul McCartney just washed over me. And it got to this point where just so much emotion, like a mixture of annoyance and rage, but also holiday cheer. And also some level of, you know, the song isn’t that bad, but wow, it’s really, wow. It’s really everywhere. Huh? They play this song all the time. I’m pretty sure that’s the only Christmas and or holiday song that the UK is legally allowed to play in public spaces.
Paint us the full picture. Let us in on your, your yuletide rage. What song are we talking about?
Oh, that would be wonderful Christmas time by Paul McCartney. If you don’t know, keep it that way.
Speaker 3 (00:28:43):
I was going to say, does that song have lyrics other than simply having a wonderful Christmas time?
Yes it does. Yeah. I mean, that’s just the chorus, but if that’s what haunts your dreams then, you know, I think that’s all that matters. That’s the only part of the song. And that’s real to you, you know, into your mind’s eye. Yeah. Just rolling into a Tesco grabbing like, uh, a chicken wrap for lunch and I may be grab some, a Cadbury, uh [inaudible].
Mm. Or like a kinder egg,
You know, mayhaps, uh, maybe some chocolate oranges, like a bounty bar or something.
Get my Fanta, orange Fanta. That’s completely different from Fanta here in the United States and so much better. And I walk up to the checkout counter and then it starts and you just look up at the employee and they look up at you and you know that they’ve been here the whole day and that this song has probably played once an hour on the hour. And you know that you will never know that level of pain, but you are still experiencing it. And you have this shared moment of Paul, what have you done to us? But also we’re in the United Kingdom. So we, we gotta, we gotta play it.
So wait, was that your favorite or least favorite?
So that’s probably one of my favorite things because the, okay, so hear me out though. That’s why I say, hear me out, hear me out because you know, I set the stage for that. My favorite thing is that you have that experience where you’re just walking around and that song starts and you, you just look and everybody physically bodily rejecting this song, but at the same time, everyone is so resigned to their fate because they’re British. So just like the trauma bonding.
Paul McCartney [Inaudible]. That’s so special.
Exactly. Thank you. I, so that was probably, that’s probably one, my favorite holiday things. And now obviously I don’t live in the UK. So just seeing some of my friends from the UK, like tweet about it or just like occasionally seeing people will post about it on social media that I don’t know, but who are based in the UK. And I’m like, Oh, it’s that time of year. That time of year when everyone wants Paul McCartney to be somewhere else. And lo and behold, you find out he lives in the Southwest of the United States.
Yeah. Yeah, sure. Him and his wife live in like Arizona or something. Yeah. Let me Google it to make sure. I mean, it was like Viggo Mortensen, Viggo Mortensen lives in, uh, Sandpoint, Idaho. It’s like our thing, I think, well, how do people famous people from the UK are like, what if I just lived in a really remote, weird area of the United States?
All right. I mean Sandpoint is nice. Shout out to Hunter. If you’re listening for showing me around, that was a good time. That’s a very, very lovely area of Idaho.
Yeah. Yeah. It’s very, very, pretty, very, pretty good place with good soup there too. Cant remember what it’s called though.
Its the season for that too.
Oh, okay. Hm, never mind. So he doesn’t live in Arizona now, but he does still own a ranch in Arizona. And I think occasionally visits.
That’s arguably weirder.
Yep. Uh, but least favorite thing is probably the obligations. I know that’s a wide array. That’s, there’s a lot of things that we are all obligated to do. But I’m specifically talking about the expectation that you will be at everybody’s separate family and friend based Christmas and holiday parties. While I do enjoy a good hootenanny. I get so burnt out by the amount of required socialization over the holidays. Uh, so I know that that’s really a rough one for me. That’s definitely more related to ADHD and RSD or not RST, ADHD and emotional dysregulation for me. But like that is probably my least favorite part.
That’s super fair. That’s super fair.
And don’t get me wrong. If I could, this year have all of those obligations, I would much rather be grumpy about having to attend big gatherings, then isolating by myself in Chicago. So, you know, give and take. But normally that is my least favorite thing.
There you go. There you go. Thank you so much for that. Shall we hop on the next question?
Yeah. Let’s. Nope. Nope. No Christmas metaphors came to mind. Quick enough. Let’s do it. Let’s just go.
What are you asking Santa for, for Christmas?
A Nintendo switch. Santa gimme, gimme the Nintendo switch. I have long suffered, not having a Nintendo switch this whole time.
I’m so sorry. This whole time you were in so much quarantine without an Nintendo switch. How did you survive without animal crossing?
Well I am somehow here. So I don’t know. How have I survived? Who’s to say who’s to say yeah, no, I mean, it’s a, it does seem. Hm. I do feel like whenever I tell people, Oh, I actually don’t have any consoles. I only use steam on my Mac book. The amount of people who know me and know what I’m like about video games are like, wait, what you, don’t what, and there’s this sort of moment of disconnect. And I’m like, I have the heart of a gamer, but the wallet of a normal person in the year of our lord 2020.
And the aesthetic of somebody who carries around a MacBook pro. So,
I mean, that’s not really an aesthetic choice. It was just, uh, the best option at the time sort of thing.
That’s fair. That’s fair. You just looks, you know, sleek,
I guess. Yeah. I didn’t really think too much about the aesthetic of a Mac book, but now I feel curated. Thank you.
You are so, so welcome.
[Inaudible] cool. Okay. Bye everyone. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah.
So it’s just me.
I’m back. Um, I got over it. So what did you ask Santa for?
What did I ask Santa for? I wrote all this stuff that-
You asked me the question I was like, I didn’t what, uh, uh, it’s like when my mom, this year, I was like, do you have a Christmas list? And I was like, do I have a what?
I asked for a cool blanket? I asked for a gift certificate to a hardware store.
Which hardware store?
Oh, crafty Beaver, probably. So that I can build a bench and, uh, some cheese in a can. So yeah. There you go. There you go. I do, I do want to follow up and just be like really clear with people that I’m not asking for general in a can. I don’t want anybody to put cheese in a can for me. I specifically want a wheel of Cougar gold, which is a very, very delicious cheddar that they make at the Washington state university Creamery. And they put in a can, and it’s a very special Washingtonian skill that I’m very good at to get a full round of it out of the can without breaking it and stopping it. Cause it’s like sealed in there. So usually have like kind of pry it out with a knife. And I am blessed by the, the cougars, I guess,
Go cougs, University of Idaho and WSU didn’t have a rivalry or anything. So,
No we were just kind of like, Hey, what’s up. They were right across the border from us when we were in Idaho. So Hey, they were just like there
And B that’s where the weed was. Sure. And still not legal in Idaho. So where do you think all of the U of I students go,
But what they did have everywhere across borders was delicious, delicious Cougar gold. And I miss, I miss it so much. So that’s what I ask Santa for, for Christmas, with some cheese in a can. Thank you. What would you recommend to somebody who is trying to buy a gift for an ADHD person? What do you think would be a good Christmas gift?
What do they talk to? Like what do they talk about literally all the time? Like what are you almost borderline annoyed with them for talking about all the time? That’s yeah. Like figure it out from there. Uh, if they’ve asked you for anything, do that. I mean, I guess like the obvious quote-unquote obvious answer would be like, Oh, I dunno, fidgets. And maybe like,
Just like, get that bitch a Rubik’s cube, bitches love Rubik’s cubes.
Well, That’s true and they’re right. Yeah.
That’s a bad example. Um, everyone should get a Rubik’s cube for Christmas.
No, I- I’m imagining. Yeah. Like fidgets or, you know, good. Just get, get them like a planner.
What a rude gift. Unless you’ve asked for that, if be like, Hey, it looks like your a mess. Merry Christmas!
No! Hey, you really like lists and crossing things off. Here’s a neat little booklet where you can just do that. That’s fair.
I’m talking in the sense of like something that they did not ask for. Cause I would imagine if they were that into lists, they’d probably already have a planner. I feel like that’s just like a Peloton commercial vibes.
Yeah. But here’s the thing though. If you have ADHD, you have more than one planner and you will be excited if you get another notebook or planner don’t lie to me. Don’t do it. Uh, no, it is it’s uh, seems a little uncalled for, but when you say like, what do you, what do you get for someone who specifically has ADHD, right. And your gift shopping. I’m like, I don’t planning stuff fidgets, but also like, it just depends. Cause ADHD is so varied. So my thought would be, I don’t know, whatever they’re hyper fixating on. If they haven’t already broken their own bank accounts, filling out that hyper fixation.
Speaker 3 (00:38:42):
And the yeah. Yeah. That’s a good one. That’s a good one.
Did you have any ideas to add to that little crockpot?
As its reputation is like gift cards. Great. Especially if it’s for like something that they were going to have to do already, like getting their house cleaned or getting a, like something that takes something off their plates and they’re like, Oh, I don’t have to worry about making dinner tonight. You’re like, Oh, I’ve got a gift card for a date night with my partner and we have, can go to a restaurant and have someone take care of childcare. Like if you can just like take a thing off of their plate, that’s very helpful and kind. So that’s the only other thing I would throw in there. Um, and the spinner rings. I think those are very cool fidget toys. Have you seen those? Um, I’m very into those. I did also ask Santa for one of them.
Nice. Yeah. And also you got for me,
We had, we had a couple of people wonder about how to deal with family who may not believe that ADHD is real or understand how it actually works. I think that this is probably expansive to like some other mental illnesses. If your family is like, well, have you done some yoga about it? How would you deal with that?
I’m going to let you take this one first.
Okay. Okay. So I think what I would recommend to people is go get a super soaker and fill it with vinegar. And every time somebody says something stupid, squirt them with it.
I got, uh, two birds, one stone. Cause it helps. And it’s fun for you. Sounds like. So that’s uh, yeah. Uh, no. Okay. So for real, I am pretty lucky to have a family that, uh, if they do think that ADHD is fake or what have you, they haven’t said anything to my face, which is probably because I’m the type of person that if I’m confronted with uh, you know, comments or questions, I personally get very disgruntled, mayhaps even angry and I will pull out several facts and research studies to prove my point. And then if the facts don’t work, which most often people will say that, Oh, I’ll be swayed by facts. Most people are very rarely swayed by facts, which we can see everywhere all the time. But the most helpful thing in my experience has been to call on the like directly call on people’s empathy and sort of directly call on the fact of like, at the very least, if you are not willing to hear me out on this and make space for, you know, my lived experience and how my brain physically works, you know, if you can make space for that, then at least respect to the boundary that we are not going to talk about it. It’s okay to not talk about it. Is that that’s, is that fair to say, like, it’s okay to set that boundary. If it’s something that’s going to stress you out. Yeah. Uh, and if people aren’t respecting those boundaries, it is okay to uphold those boundaries.
That’s fantastic advice. Thank you. Thank you for that. Yeah.
I don’t want to like toot my own horn here, but like the range between horny Santa and like family and friends confrontation, you know,
I got it. You’re just really holding the show together. Thank you, Lex. I appreciate it.
That’s false but thank you. Thank you so much. Um, but also, you know, yeah. Just, just squirt them, squirt them with vinegar,
But thank you for that, Lex. That is actually very helpful and thoughtful advice. I hope that that helps you out.
Thank you. I have spent a lot of the past few episodes being absolutely useless. So I got to put my weight somewhere and if it’s conflict resolution, so be it.
One of us needs that skill because I don’t have it.
That’s actually, yeah. I actually do have some pretty decent communication and confrontation and conflict resolution skills.
Hell yeah. I’m very thankful for you on that front.
I am so direct.
I’m the opposite of that, where I’m very much just like, I’m so sorry. I must have scuffed your shoe when you tripped me. Do you want me to like, pay for that to get it polished? Like, are you good? So yeah, I appreciate that. We can, we can balance each other out here.
Yeah. Yeah. And to clarify this, isn’t one of those things where I just am super pushy and confrontational and Jordan just like, lets it happen. That’s what we know. So I just want to clarify, but just generally those are sort of the vibes that we have generally.
Yes. Yeah, no, we we’ve. I feel like at this point. 2 years and a podcast and we’ve kind of figured it out.
Yeah. We found an equilibrium. We found a balance.
We yep. Yeah.
The bull and the China shop emerge unscathed.
I was not sure where you were going with that metaphor for a second. And I was like the bowl like that. We, we pass around like the bowl of cereal, the bowling ball, but okay. Okay. Yeah.
I mean to your credit, I also did not know where that statement was going to go.
We, we emerged from that unscathed as well. So it comes full circle. Uh, so do you have any new year’s resolutions?
No survive. Uh it’s 2021 soon. Time’s not real. It’s not going to be better just cause it’s not 2020, not to be a downer, but like, I don’t know if I, technically my resolution is just going to be like survive and work harder to make things better for everybody. I don’t, you know, but that’s sorta just like I never do resolutions because I am famously bad at following through on things. I don’t know if it’s [inaudible] ADHD.
Yeah. Any other, any other ADHD people have issues like following through on goals?
Yeah, no. Um, yeah, no, uh, I don’t commit to things like that anymore because I know that if I want to do something, I will do it. And if I make a commitment to do something that doesn’t mean Jack. So fair enough. Uh, my general resolution all the time is to just try to be less of a dick and, generally, just try to make it to the next day, you know, just try to not get Regina George in the road here in Chicago, you know, try not to.
Yea. That’s a good new year’s resolution. I was going to say by this point in the year, I think probably most bus drivers have used up their three kills, but yeah, that’s definitely
Met their quotas, especially this year. I bet they’ve been really just, I bet a lot of them spent them a little earlier. Yeah. You know.
But then that all resets, so good. [inaudible], you’re right. Don’t get hit by a bus.
The three kill quota, cannot confirm nor deny if that’s a real thing.
Here’s the thing, it is. It’s a real thing. I met a bus driver. I’ve met many bus drivers. I take the bus a lot, but this legitimately happened to me. I was taking the 36 Broadway bus southbound and I was getting on the bus ride as they were switching drivers over. And the driver was kind of, you know, Josh and or whatever. And he was like, Hey, you want to drive? And I was like, sure. You know, joking around and joked about getting in the seat. But I didn’t obviously, cause I’m not going to do that. But you know, I didn’t, I don’t know how to drive a bus, sorry to disappoint. And the bus driver, I kid you not says to me now, be careful. You only get to hit three people. And I was just like, I knew it. And he looked at me like I knew something I should know. And it’s real. The CTA three kill policy is real. I stand by it.
I mean, that’s not like explicit proof, but it is compelling.
It is, and I will also say bus drivers go through a lot. I think that they’ve earned it.
You know who else could get a three kill quota? Retail and food service workers.
I think they should be able to kill anybody. Who’s rude to them.
Yeah. If you’re a customer, if you’ve ever been a customer, if you ever plan on being a customer, […] you. The customer is never right. That’s what you need to know. Thats what you need to understand, if you’ve, if you know, you know, if you’ve worked on the other side of things, you know.
I always feel so bad going into stores and having to interact with employees. I’m like, I’m so I’m so sorry. I exist. I’m so sorry. I have to be here. I’m so sorry.
But I know you can confirm this as someone who also works in the service industry, when you see customers who are clearly also industry workers, in some sense, you know, because they don’t suck butts, yeah. You know what I mean? Like they are like, Oh no, it’s okay. No, thank you so much. It’s okay. Don’t please, please stop. You’ve never done anything wrong in your life. And I am the scum of the earth for just stepping in my foot, into this whole foods.
Versus the people who, you know have never worked a surface job in their lives and you’re just like, excuse me, one moment ma’am I’m going to go scream in the walk-in. Okay.
Yeah. Same, same, well, okay. Not the same. Similar energy to actors who have never worked behind the scenes. Yeah. You can tell immediately. And one of those things that if, you know, you know, you know, I remember my time as an ASM, just backstage, two of the actors started tap dancing, like during production, I think it was during tech. So like arguably worse than if it had been during production when everyone’s super stressed. And I was like, y’all need to be quiet, you know, take the headset. I’m like, y’all need to be quiet. You need to be quiet, be quiet, quiet.
[Inaudible] most intimidating whisper.
Yeah, exactly. Uh, and they were quite sassy about it.
Was this a tap show?
No, it was, Shakespeare’s a Midsummer night’s dream. They were barefoot and they were tap dancing so loud.
So they were just stomping.
They were just stomping backstage. Are you kidding me?
Um, yeah, I wish I was. But also like if you’ve been an assistant stage manager, you would get it. Yeah.
I say this as somebody who got their BFA in acting. Actors are the womb.
And to all of my, you know, dear friends that I still have from that program who still listen to the show. I love you. Yeah. I also, I know most of you have also worked backstage, so you’re exempt from this.
Yeah. No, it’s- it’s yeah. Yup.
Speaking of new year’s resolutions.
Oh yeah. What’s yours?
Um, yeah. My new year’s resolution this year is to get crafty. There’s a lot of crafts that I really want to learn. I’ve been wanting to get better at embroidery. I’ve been wanting to learn a little bit more about painting. I’ve water color painted, but like people use oil paint techniques and stuff for painting cakes. And I’ve always thought that looks really cool and I want to learn how to make gum paste flowers. And I really want to get into woodworking and learn how to build a guillotine.
That’s very good. I was like very confused. Cause I was like, you’re talking about crafting. You make so many things already. You’re already quite crafty. Like we often have craft nights together. I mean, I still do want to know that. Yes, yes. I was mostly just like, this is a resolution, but I see where you were taking us and I’m right behind.
Yeah. Great. 2021. We’re coming for you. So do we want to take some listener questions?
[Deep voice] Yea, yea baby!
Horny Santa! I told you, you had to leave.
No, no, no. This is actually just, um..
So do we want to take some listener questions? Um, yeah.
[Inaudible] Gimme the audience questions. [Deep voice] Gimme the audience questions. [inaudible]
So thanks so much to everybody who wrote in it was wonderful to hear from all of you. Uh, we hope you’ll keep sending some questions in, but our first question is from Marissa and she asks which cat is more likely to laugh at your jokes Ned or Root beer.
Oh honestly, neither. They would never laugh at us. They would never give us the, [inaudible] complete just unfathomable depths of annoyance.
Yeah. They’re not fans.
Uh, and yet they do snooze in the blanket fort studio, every time.
This is true. This is true.
But if we do something that we think is very funny and start laughing quite hard, they will both just look up from their curled up positions because how dare we disturbed their slumbers? How dare we disturb their slumbers when they came into this space we were already in.
But it’s their, it’s their house still. So we’re just making a mess in their space and getting in the way of their naps and doing other things that are not petting them. How could we.
I think if we’re going to anthropomorphize the cat’s a little bit Root beer would be the one to laugh first more like more likely. Cause I think Ned wouldn’t even Ned would just be like, Oh, I can’t, I can’t and would just leave versus root beer would just be like, like a little disdainful laugh and then leave.
Um, yeah, I can’t argue with that. That’s a great question though. Thank you so much, Marissa. All right.
That’s my cousin Murmur.
Murmur please tell Pips and Lloyd-
Those are her dogs.
-that I said hello, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:53:36):
All right. So our next question is from Cal, and Cal asks sometimes when I try to explain something that I do or have done as a result of my ADHD, I feel like I’m treating ADHD as an excuse for quote-unquote, bad behaviors, like being late to things. And when asked why, explaining that it’s due to time blindness, what are ways that those of us who are neurodivergent in some way can explain our behaviors without excusing them? And that’s a great question.
I do love this. For context, Cal was the stage manager for that Shakespeare production.
Oh incredible. I didn’t know that.
Stage manager for it. That’s how, uh, Cal and or Cally and I met. Do you want to take a crack at it? Sure. Cool.
I think the first thing that I would say is there’s power in being honest about your story and saying, Hey, here’s why this happened. I have time blindness, because I think that that’s, that’s your story. That’s the truth. And I think that it helps people understand and get more familiar with what that actually means and learn that that’s just how people are. And I think that maybe something that can help make that a little bit more proactive of an apology rather than sounding like an excuse is saying sort of like in an interview when they’re like, Hey, what’s your biggest weakness? The important part is not the weakness. The important part is saying like that. You’re aware of it and here’s what you’re doing to navigate that or to remedy it. So it’s totally, totally fine to be like, Hey, I’m so sorry at time blindness. PSometimes that trips me up, but I am doing best. Or like, Hey, I have time blindness. I usually set an alarm, but it didn’t go off today or something like that. I think if you just like any apology, make some effort to say, here’s what I’m going to do better next time. That to me, at least if somebody were to say that to me, that doesn’t sound like an excuse at all. And I think too, it’s worth noting that with ADHD. And I also know that this is a part of my experience with depression. There’s a voice in your head. That’s going, Oh, this is an excuse. This isn’t real. You should just be able to be better. And that voice is lying to you. That voice is foolish. So I think that just being honest about your truth and making it clear to the person that like, whatever you messed up on or whatever you missed is still important. That’s, that’s more than enough. That’s my 2 cents on it.
Oh, thank you so much. I think that’s great. And that’s a great question, Cal always, always amazed by how well-spoken you are. Guess like my, my thing that I would add is given the context I know for me, I will often get trapped in sort of a explanation spiral where I’m trying to explain what’s going on and also in my head I’m like, but I don’t want it to sound like an excuse. So I’m like making co you know, adding caveats here and, you know, putting some context in here and, you know, then it becomes this whole big thing. And I think something that I know I could stand to remember is that given the context, like, I would say, especially when it involves like work or school or, uh, sort of like quote unquote societal obligations like that, uh, my 2 cents would be like, it’s fine to just not explain yourself sometimes.
That’s a very good point.
Like, especially, you know, kind of gauge the, the crowd, is it where, if it’s people who you aren’t super comfortable with and they are, you know, they aren’t entitled to your time or your explanations or even your excuses. So, uh, even if you feel like you’re making excuses, like no matter what you feel like you’re putting on the table, you don’t necessarily, owe everybody, everything all the time. So I think my advice would just be to like, take a beat in that moment, reflect a little bit and be like, will talking about this help or harm the situation. Will it be helpful to me and them or just them or just me, you know, kind of figure out what the motive is. And I think that kind of directs what comes out a little bit.
That’s Awesome. I think that that’s a very important caveat. I know I do the same thing. So thank you for that. Yeah.
Apparently my big thing, this episode boundaries, boundaries are real important. Then again, you, the whole idea of like rugged individualism. You don’t ever owe anybody anything in that, like we should never give or take or interact with people and, you know, reciprocal ways like that’s bullshit too. So like don’t get carried away, everything in moderation, all that good stuff. But for this situation specifically, I know that I overthink a lot of those things that Cal was talking about.
Yeah, that’s fair.
So I know that for me, something that’s helpful is just being like, what if I just say X thing happened? I don’t even need to necessarily apologize unless they’re like upset about it. Right? Yeah. And just be like X thing happened like the other day I was late to work because I was stopping for gas and there was a couple in a car next to the same pump as me. And they had apparently been stuck there all night. So I was like, Oh, I’ve got, you know, I have cables. I’m going to help jump their car. So instead of being like, Hey, sorry, I’m going to be a few minutes late. I just didn’t apologize. I was like, Hey, I’m going to be late. I’m helping someone jump their car and you know yeah. But, but you know, like you just, sometimes you can just tell people things, you don’t need to apologize for everything. Cause I know that’s my, I do. So that’s usually how I try to mitigate that is just taking a beat. Yeah. And being like what’s actually necessary for this human interaction that I’m having that will make for the clearest most accurate communication. And then I go from there.
That’s awesome. And that reminds me of some of my favorite advice too, which is no, is a complete sentence. So there we go. And, uh, that is the end of our questions, but we do have one more, uh, holiday-DHD story. Uh, this comes to us from the wonderful Kevin. Hi Kevin. Thank you so much for writing in this makes me feel a lot better about my sewing machine thing.
Oh, Oh, okay. All right. All right. Kevin I’m listening.
And Kevin says in 2018, I bought a Christmas gift for my niece and nephew. I was supposed to go to the post office and send them and I’d never did. I wrote a short story adaption of Billy goat, gruff and her Christmas adventures and printed and bound it, for context, there is also a Billy goat doll that Kevin sent in a photo of that was supposed to go along with this book. Billy goat. Unfortunately never made it in the mail because I kept forgetting even with multiple reminders and eventually Billy became the eye of desires and pleasure for my little dog Harriet and I didn’t dare send Billy after that.
Oh boy. Okay. So I have some followup questions for you, Kevin, if I may, um, you know, contact, contact us at your leisure, you know how to get ahold of us. Uh, when you say Billy became the eye of desires and pleasure for Harriet, do you mean in like a cute dog chew toy sort of way? Or do you mean like on a leg of a stranger sort of way?
You know, I think I can answer that one. Uh, because Kevin did send me the, the photo of the Billy doll that has, um, it’s a little dirty. It’s definitely been, uh, used and not in a chew toy kind of way.
So Billy was you, you just said Billy was used like, uh, excuse me. Um, so it sounds like your, your dog got a very satisfying Christmas present.
Works out, I guess.
What a mood though for getting to send things.
So this is Billy and there’s like..
I see, I see. Okay. Challenging, challenging ideas and material that you have brought to this show. Thank you, Kevin.
Um. What a relatable, just never sending things, mood.
I really didn’t know where you were going to go. I did not know what you were going to say was relatable. I did worry for a moment. Uh, no. I have for sure. Forgotten to send things. I mean our Christmas holiday mailers, this is year three of living together and we finally made it happen. So, uh, what next year, I guess would be your three-year Mark. I really hope you don’t send Billy. Oh yeah. Um, I’m assuming you won’t but I do just want to like,
Well, the, the last sentence of the story is I didn’t dare send Billy after that. So I think that Billy is, is well and truly Harriet’s now.
Oh yeah. I would say that Billy has been marked,
Wha- what’s the line from Gina?
That’s one doodle that can’t be un-did, homeskillet.
Speaker 4 (01:03:39):
That is one doodle. That can’t be un-did, unfortunately. We do have one more question.
Oh, okay. Hold on. The amount of restraint that it took to not just scream throughout that whole story.
Do you need to get it out?
No, no, I, I repressed it so, so well, and that like scream, laugh was what was left of it, but from the bottom of my heart. Thank you, Kevin. Thank you so much.
Like I said, it makes me feel a lot better about the sewing machine thing.
Yes. I can see how that might happen. I also, you know, when I, when I step back and I take a minute, I am, I’m, I’m really happy for Harriet.
Truly happy for Harriet. [laughter] Anyways.
May you all find the Billy to your Harriet. If you want one, if you want one and two, all a good night.
We do have one more question and that is from the wonderful Maddy.
Thanks so much for writing in Maddy asks, I feel like this is, this question is maybe a long time coming and I’m so glad you asked.
I don’t know what this question is. And I’m a little nervous.
So Maddy asks have either of you ever actually taken our parkour class and or would you ever want to?
So here’s the thing about me and parkour.
What’s the thing about you and parkour, please, please tell.
I’m actually incredible at it.
No! No, we just talked about how short my legs are. Who are you? What have you done with my roommate. I mean, okay. In my defense, I do skate. Uh, but that’s not even remotely the same as parkour. I did, uh, plenty of climbing on buildings and stuff in my youth. I have done quite a fair amount of jumping. Yeah. I competitively dance.
I thought you were going to say you competitively jumped. And I was like…
I mean, that’s a thing.
Is it, is that a thing?
Have you never heard of high jump or long jump? Literal sports. Those are competed in the Olympics and shit.
I forgot about those, but i’m here with you.
Yep. No. So to my excitement and probably detriment and ultimate demise. I am not at all afraid of heights in that way. And I, I am decent at balance and coordination. I know that the way I speak and everything else about me, you might assume that I am deeply uncoordinated and not even a little graceful,
But you do alright for yourself, I would say.
Yeah, I would argue that because I am small and have short legs. You know, I grew into my body very early, so I’ve had a lot of time. I competitively danced. So, uh, I competitively danced. I skate, I like heights. Jumping is fun.
So you would take a parkour class.
I would, but I’m not taking any in-person classes right now [inaudible] jot that down. No worse. Yeah. But you’re doing like a physical activity. And even with a mask, the particles that can shoot out of your little gab.
I feel like parkour with a mask would be deeply unpleasant.
Especially cause like, my head is so small that like, unless I was wearing a little kid mask, I mean, you’ve seen it. The masks always slip up almost over my eyes. So like I gotta be real careful.
Yeah. I think that would make parkour very complicated and very dangerous.
That’s a great question though.
Speaker 4 (01:07:23):
Wonderful question. I also have never taken a parkour class. I am bit less sporty than Lex is, so I would definitely give it the old college try, but I can’t say that it would go well, I am pretty good at climbing trees though, which you wouldn’t guess from someone who grew up in a desert that didn’t have them, but who knows.
Playground equipment. Yeah. I know for a fact you are almost a demon when it comes to playground equipment.
This is true. This is true. And I will own that. I will own that as a badge of honor. So, uh, to definitively answer your question, Maddy. No, neither of us have taken a parkour class, but I think we both would. I’d give it a go. Maybe that’s maybe that’ll be our new year’s resolution is take a parkour class, for the comedy, if nothing else.
Sure thing. If any of you are parkour experts.
I’m so sorry.
Oh no. I was just going to say hit us up. Ready to learn.
Oh yeah. Please do, please do.
Got to learn. We can end this podcast once and for all. The final boss, we can’t learn parkour yet. We are not at that point in the plot.
Oh yeah, no we haven’t. We have so many more quests to go.
Lots of character arcs, lots of side quests. Don’t forget the quintessential beach episodes.
Oh yeah, yeah. But maybe someday once we conquer podcasting, we can take a parkour class.
I’d be into that. Yeah, I’ll do that after my sword fighting class.
Dope. Dope, dope. Right on. Well, that was all of our audience questions. Thanks again to everybody who wrote in that was a wonderful Christmas present for us. Do you get to answer those?
Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I am so tired. Y’all I’m so sleepy and I’m just sitting in this very cozy, warm blanket fort, with a big old fluffy blanket wrapped around me. And I spent all of my, just a raunchy energy with that Santa bit at the beginning. And then I think the story about Harriet and Billy just really took it out of me.
Well, so like we can go ahead and wrap this one up soon, but before we do. Do we want to do one last, uh, dopamine trampoline for 2020?
Right on let’s hop. Let’s hop on, on that dopamine trampoline. And uh, do you wanna, do you wanna share with us what’s uh, making you, making you hop.
That’s weird. Don’t say it like that.
Do you have something you would like to share with the class this week?
Yeah. So, uh, if I recall correctly from the two discussions we had about the step [inaudible] beforehand, um, the dopamine trampoline theme of this week is not just like one big fixation. It’s just like XYZ sort of favorite things about the holidays.
Yeah. We’re just gonna, we’re gonna keep it festive.
Yeah. So I just have like a short little list and here it is.
Throw it at us. I’m so ready.
There are three things on this list. So like I did this approximately five minutes before we started. One green bean casserole, baby it’s that time of year with casseroles, casseroles are such a good communal food. They are so tasty, green bean casserole is in my opinion. This is just my opinion. If you don’t agree with me, that’s fine. I don’t want to hear about it though. I will not stand for any green bean casserole slander. Not in my house. No thank you. But green bean casserole is the superior casserole and I’m from the Midwest. I feel like my Heartland credibility is through the charts or shoots through the roof on that. So I’m right. This is what I’m saying.
I mean, you do have maybe short legs in real life, but pretty long legs to stand on. And so far is the validity of your casserole opinions. Yeah, I hear that. I hear that. And I, that is, I will say one of my, I guess I can’t say favorite things about living with you, but one blessing of living with you is Lex makes the green bean casserole for our holiday festivities every year and they just make a quadruple batch and I don’t have to do anything. I just get the splendor of green bean casserole in my fridge for like two weeks.
Probably more like one week because I do just eat the leftovers every day for every meal until it’s gone. I also do not follow the recipe. I follow where my heart takes me when it comes to those little French fried onions.
Um, number two…
Is it French fried onions?
No, cause that’s in green beam casserole.
I just said green beam, but in my defense Jordan and I, when talking about green bean casserole by ourselves-
And our unintelligible communication in this apartment.
We always go “green beam?”
We don’t- I don’t- We don’t speak normal words to one another.
[Laughter] English is a nonsensical mess of a language anyways
I think we’ve kind of just done it a favor and put it out of its misery.
Yeah no, I think it’s a- it’s a miracle that we have managed to make a podcast and not completely…
[Laughter]. But we can still put it in the English language category.
Yes, yes. Uh, number two, wrapping presents.
Uh, yeah. Going back to the Santa thing. I think, um, part of the reason that I never really had a huge belief in Santas, probably because I do most of the Christmas present wrapping for my mom most years. Obviously not this year, cause my mom’s a busy busy gal. She’s got stuff to do!
Uh, notably she used to be a social worker. So I think she- you know, she is a… Sort of retired, sort of like secondary caretaker for all of the nieces and nephews. You know, she’s- she loves her grandkids and all that.
But! she did used to be a social worker. So like, when I first started learning how to wrap presents as what her job was. So I don’t blame her for being like “here small child, who’s very active and very creative. Here, use that energy and fuel and put it into this for me please.”
And I did. Uh, and so I- I love the detail that goes into wrapping presents. I love the molding things with my hands is nice. It’s that good, tactile experience. But I just- I like making every present, look a little different. A little, you know, a little bit unique to maybe, who the present’s for. If it’s for the nieces and nephews, we sometimes divide things up based on like: Oh, like this- this kid will get, you know, the- these wrapping papers, and like these sort of color stories. Right?
Um, yeah no, I turn into like a Pantone ad or something, it’s wild. Um, so I just- I really like wrapping presents and same sort of thing of like, I like making people presents like you. Uh, I also have a track record for being like, “I’m going to make them something!” But instead of just not making it for a while because of chicken liver, and my sewing machine. I- uh- I just will be like, “Oh! that’s not gonna happen.” Uh, and okay, here we go. Target order, Amazon maybe? Let’s see. Uh, you know.
Hello Etsy my old friend.
I will say though, you do kind of go off with the wrapping. They always look very, very good.
And the detail is there.
Thank you. I- I was really proud of your birthday present this year.
Uh, the third thing on this list, and my favorite thing about the holidays is Jack Black in the movie, ‘The Holiday’!
If you don’t know what ‘The Holiday’ is, it’s a wonderful holiday romcom from the early aughts, starring Jude law, Jack Black, Cameron Diaz, and Kate Winslet. It’s a fun little mix of British, and American culture.
And it’s full of, some interesting, somewhat problematic ideas. You know, as is every piece of media that comes out of the 2000s, but mostly, it is sweet and cute, and really gets me in the spirit in a way that a lot of other holiday media doesn’t.
Um, and Jack Black in that movie going absolutely off the shits to be the man of my dreams basically.
Is just really rude of him. Honestly,
He’s very charming in that movie.
So charming. Uh, and then just generally, it’s just, it’s just a fun, silly movie.
It is! It is.
It’s also sweet and cute, and the chemistry is amazing. The storyline is cute and fun, and there’s lots of big faces and names in there and-
Yeah, you showed me that movie. The first time I watched that was with you.
Wow! I forgot about that.
Yes! So that’s- That is a great holiday memory for me too. And I love, I love the storyline between Kate Winslet’s character and her neighbor. Uhm, who is an elderly man, who’s retired from filmmaking and uh, they just have this- they have the sweetest friendship in the world. And it’s so, so dear to see a friendship be treated so honorably in like a romcom.
And they’re just, they’re just very charming together. They’re very fun and it’- it is such a fun movie. And that is, thank you for showing it to me.
That movie is where I first really understood the meaning of the word ‘gumption’. And when I realized that I am full of it.
There you go. There you go.
That kind of stuff is really my jam. And also, who can say no to Cameron Diaz incoherently singing along to ‘Mr. Brightside’.
Uh, in the middle of nowhere, in an English cottage. Um-
It’s, it’s really good.
Uh, yeah! So that’s- that’s my little quick DT. What about you?
Well, speaking of holiday Romcoms, my dopamine trampoline this year, in the theme of keeping things festive is my new favorite holiday romance. And for context, I’ve not really been uh like holiday romance movie person before.
It’s not my favorite genre.
People can probably guess that based on the fact that you had never seen ‘The Holiday’ until you lived with me, and we’ve only lived together for about two and a half years.
This is true. This is true,
but I have in the spirit of- of research and then the spirit of getting in the season, I suppose, been trying to watch more of them. Expand my, uh… Holiday romcom repertoire. And I did find one that is actually very much worth a watch on Netflix called ‘Midnight at the Magnolia’. And… I will say, I think that a significant part of the appeal of ‘Midnight at the Magnolia’ for me is just that it’s very me. And it’s horrifically specific to my area of interest. Because the plot is about two radio hosts in Chicago who have been childhood best friends. They have a radio show together. They have to pretend to date in order for the new year’s special episode of their show to get enough audience, to get syndicated, and also, to sell enough tickets, to keep the venue where they’re holding it a-float. And the venue where they’re holding it, is a jazz bar that their dads, who are also best friends, co-own.
It’s like kind of everything that I want in a movie? Would you say-
Probably everything you want in your life?
Hey, Alexa, be quiet, [Laughter].
Lexjust shut your mouth! [Laughter].
Um, it’s- [Laughter]. It’s just a- A very niche setting. Be… All of the friendships in it have such good chemistry because their- their dads are best friends, and it’s the cutest shit in the world. And then like, they’re best friends before they start dating. And it’s actually clear on the actor’s chemistry, instead of not being like a weird stilted hallmark movie. We’re a white man and the white woman so we must kiss energy. Do you know what I mean?
Oh, no. I know. I just- Oh!
But they’re like funny together! And they have all these little traditions and it’s just like, it’s a very sweet friendship. And… It’s definitely a little bit cheesy. Uh, I think that they filmed it in Ontario. So, they have these like, you know, wide shots of places around Chicago. And then they’re in these apartments where you’re like, “Um, yeah, no, you couldn’t afford it.” [Laughter].
Yeah. Oh, wow.
Like both like live alone in these like nice, new one-bedroom apartments.
And their radio hosts?
Lex (01:20:21):Hey Hollywood.
And I’m just saying, but like, Hey, like people who make movies and stuff… Could you like try to live like a normal human being.
Spoiler alert, there is no money in the audio medium whatsoever.
But like, it’s just very sweet because it takes, obviously takes in the whole movie to realize they’ve been in love with each other the whole time.
There’s a straight up jazz band in the end. It’s great. Their manager’s very funny. She has a very good haircut, and she’s just so lost in the whole plan, but trying her best. And I respect her. I think my only complaint with the movie is that… I don’t want to spoil it, but there’s a character about the guy kind of had a thing with in high school? Who like comes back? She should have been gay. She should- she should have been like, “you were the last guy I dated!”.
Just sprinkle some representation in there, or just like, was there a plot line you were invested in like, what’s the…
There was a, like weird last minute romance with the high school X character, and like some other random dude who shows up in one scene. And it just like would have made a lot more sense for that to not happen. And for there to have been like a little bit more clarification on what the main guy and the high school X’s dynamic was now. And I think that her just like having a girlfriend would have made all of that made a lot more sense? I didn’t sprinkle in some representation in there. Happy holidays lesbians. But other than that…
Except for that movie.
You know… You know.
So many opinions. Okay so.
Yeah. So that’s my dopamine trampoline is ‘Midnight at the Magnolia’. It’s a fun little romcom to, uh… Get in that holiday cheer. That’s what I got.
Alright. Yehaw ,ho ho ho, thank you.
You’re so welcome. Before we do sign this one out, wanted to just say thank you to all of you who have tuned into the show. This is our last episode of the year, we’ll be back in January with a little bonus episode before we start rolling into new content. But, uh, it means a lot to us that all of you have tuned in and spent the last like six months now, hanging out with us and we hope you have wonderful holidays.
Right. I’ll echo that. Uh, thank y’all, you know, we just hit a thousand downloads-
Yeah. Wild. So thank you to all of you who’ve been sticking it out and sharing with friends or family, or anything like that. And we just really appreciate each and every one of y’all. Yeah. Yeah, just thank you.
Yeah. We’ll you will, uh, see ya on the flip side.
But not by way of parkour. Cause we can’t do that.
But this has been ‘Or Learn Parkour’ from ‘Wholehearted Production Company’.
Yeah! You can find us on Spotify, Apple podcasts, uh Stitcher, et cetera. Most places, the cool people find their podcasts.
Special thanks to Krisha Pareto for our cover art design. You can find her at ‘Petal Hop. That’s P-E-T-A-L -H-O-P on Instagram, and Twitter and Etsy. She has some fantastic Christmas stickers out right now. I just got some labels to put on my gifts this year that I’m very excited about.
And a big thank you to Tom Rosenthal for the use of our intro and outro song. ‘There is a Dark Place’ off of the album ‘Keep a Private Room Behind the Shop’.
You can follow us on the sosh meeds at, ‘Or Learn Parkour’ on twitter, @wearewpc on Instagram, and that wearewpc.com.
You can find links to all those juicy things, as well as links to sources, transcript,s music, all that good. Good, good, good, good, good stuff in our episode description!
If you enjoy this podcast and want to hear more, all we want for Christmas is for you to subscribe to this feed.
You can also support the show by sharing with friends, or family or whomever. Strangers on the street. mayhaps
I appreciate that uhh gumption.
You can also support the show by sharing with friends, family strangers on the street, what have you. Could leave us a review or rating on iTunes or, um, what were the other ones?
We’re also on ‘Good Pods’ and ‘Pod Chaser’ where you can, uh, leave us some reviews.
Yeah! And if you’re really, really feeling the spirit of giving, which if you’re not, totally fine, we get it, but we do have a CoFi. Uh, and you can find a link to that in our link tree, which is in both our Twitter and Instagram bios.
That is correct.
Yeah. Uh, before we completely dip though, you had mentioned something and I- I’m very sleepy. So there’s two things that I really want for this holiday season. It’s two things that I would really like for Christmas, from you specifically.
What are those? How can I make your dreams come true?
Uh, the first one is to end the episode relatively soon, so I can go to sleep.
But the second one.
And far more important right now in this immediate moment.
Gimme that holiday-H-D- D- dad joke.
Boy howdy woul I love too! And this is the uh last ADH dad joke of 2020 so…
Cheers, bro. I will drink to that.
Buckle up! So. Two folks with ADHD are sitting at a local diner, catching up, having some hash browns probably. And, uh, their conversation is all over the place as it usually is. And they, uh, circle around to cooking. And one of them says, “Yeah, got- got a cookbook once, and uh, it was neat, but I could never do anything with it.” And the other one says, “Oh yeah, I like too much, you know, fancy cooking stuff in there. You know, too many steps in the other.” And the first one says, “Yeah, you know, you said it! Every single one of those recipes just doesn’t work right off the bat. They all start, take a clean dish-
[Chuckle] Yeah. I felt a little bit called out.
After that last ADH dad joke of the year, I’m Jordan.
And I’m Lex!
And this has been the last episode of 2020 of ‘Or Learn Parkour’. We will see you in two weeks.
I’m gonna go to bed, and so should all of you.
And to all a goodnight!