OLP 011.5: Clench Your Buttcheeks & Let It Out (It’s Bloopers) audio
(00:00):
[Intro Music: There Is A Dark Place by Tom Rosenthal]
Lex (00:27):
And you can take it away with the script…Good, good.
Jordan (00:36):
Doing really good on the podcast so far.
Lex (00:38):
Yes.
Lex (00:42):
So uh we live with our two Kit-Kats. Their names are Ned and Rootbeer and they are so smelly.
Jordan (00:47):
They’re the worst. We love them so much.
Lex (00:49):
Little bastards. I love them.
Jordan (00:51):
Can we say bastards?
Lex (00:52):
Bastards. Um, I don’t know why I said it like-
Jordan (00:56):
Bastards.
Lex (00:57):
Like, uh, what’s his name on, gosh, this is the second time while testing for this podcast that Anastasia has come up, but Bartok, bastards, the cats are bastards.
Jordan (01:08):
Please just do the whole podcast like that.
Lex (01:11):
Oh, no. I sound now like I’m just making fun of anybody from, this just in Bartok is problematic.
Jordan (01:21):
Bartok is canceled.
Lex (01:22):
Bartok get out o-, just kidding. I love you Bartok. I used to have a little beanie baby.
Jordan (01:24):
It’s a good movie.
Lex (01:28):
Yeah.
Jordan (01:29):
Why do we keep coming back to Anastasia on this podcast?
Lex (01:30):
Because I say things like bastard.
Jordan (01:35):
Are you going to do silly voices for the podcast?
Lex (01:37):
Proba- no. Yes.
Jordan (01:39):
Yessss.
Lex (01:40):
Um, ooh, wait, which silly voice should I do now?
Jordan (01:44):
Number 10.
Lex (01:48):
Sweetf***.
Jordan (01:50):
We can’t put that in the podcast.
Lex (01:51):
I know
Jordan (01:52):
You said a naughty word.
Lex (01:52):
I know, I know.
Jordan (01:53):
She said the f*** word.
Lex (01:54):
I said the f*** word.
Lex (01:55):
Uh, but yeah. Uh, I’m uh, ari now. Good ne-. Not so bad. Good. McMurray. Have you ever noticed that when you try to talk like uh McMurray, you. I don’t know if you ever tried to talk like McMurray but you have to clench your butt cheeks to do it. You have to just like – [mumbling] My name is McMurray and –
Jordan (02:16):
No, my God. You’re so right. You just gotta clench.
Lex (02:18):
You do. And your like [mumbling]
Lex (02:25):
[mumbling] c*** sucking j-
Jordan (02:27):
We also can’t say that on the podcast.
Lex (02:28):
I know. We can’t talk about Letterkenny in our podcast trailer probably anyways.
Jordan (02:31):
Probably not.
Lex (02:32):
But like, just, hmph anyways.
Jordan (02:34):
Sometimes that’s a secret to doing a good voice is you just got to clench.
Lex (02:37):
Sometimes to do the silly voice, you got to clench your butt cheeks, strap yourself in and go for it.
Jordan (02:45):
Let it go. Not your butt, but-
Lex (02:46):
Follow your dreams.
Lex (02:48):
I mean like, if you want to fart, if you want to let it go, if you want to s*** your pants, you can.
Jordan (02:54):
This is America. That is your right.
Lex (02:55):
Yeah. Can we say s***?
Jordan (02:58):
Can we say s***?
Lex (02:59):
I don’t know.
Jordan (02:59):
I don’t know.
Lex (03:00):
Well, we did.
Jordan (03:01):
Have a good night, do some sweet flips and we’ll see you soon. Damnit.
Lex (03:10):
All right, wanna take that again?
Jordan (03:11):
Yeah. Um.
Lex (03:15):
Yeah. Um, yeah. No Ned, stop it. Boy, boy. I swear. I swear, boy, boy, boy, if you don’t move that paw, from out under that door.
Jordan (03:30):
Can you tell Lex has been listening to a lot of Old Gods of Appalachia?
Lex (03:33):
Okay. Listen. I maintain that rural, like the Rust Belt, which is where I’m from, from the Midwest, like-
Jordan (03:44):
Where I’m from.
Lex (03:46):
Would you shut up? Um, uh, no. I mean, okay, so the Rust Belt, rural. Okay. So rural. I, I will forever. Oh my God. Ned!
Jordan (03:57):
This is- this episode is a disaster.
Lex (04:00):
Yeah, no. Um, I still maintain that Appalachia and um, I still maintain the Appalachia and rural areas of the Rust Belt, which is where I’m from, are essentially the same thing. Just slightly different scenery.
Jordan (04:16):
Cool.
Lex (04:17):
I maintain, I don’t know. Yeah.
Jordan (04:20):
Cool. Yeah. I’m from Washington. So y’all do whatever you want out here.
Lex (04:23):
Yeah. There’s, there’s definitely something about being from a rural area that like other people who grew up in rural areas. I know you get it, also Ned you stupid little b****. You son of a d***.
Lex (04:36):
I like to think I’m on like the Griffin McElroy level of Weeb where I really like Bowen and things like Sailor Moon.
Jordan (04:41):
Bowen slaps though.
Lex (04:42):
Right. But even, one time Jordan told me point blank. I would love to go to a Bowen concert because it would just be me, you, Griffin McElroy and a bunch of weebs. And I said, so you and a bunch of weebs.
Jordan (04:55):
Yeah.
Lex (04:56):
Are we allowed to just tag the Mac – like Griffin McElroy?
Jordan (04:58):
I don’t think so. I don’t know if we’re allowed to even talk about other podcasters. I think that the-
Lex (05:03):
No one’s paying us though.
Jordan (05:05):
That’s fair but-
Lex (05:06):
We don’t have sponsors. Aren’t we allowed to say their names? Griffin is your name copyrighted? You can fight me. Let’s go. Outside at dawn, swords drawn.
Jordan (05:15):
The world is – Nope, I’m not going to go there.
Lex (05:17):
What the world is, what the world is, what?
Jordan (05:20):
Not ready.
Lex (05:20):
Okay.
Lex (05:23):
I f***** your mom s***-
Jordan (05:26):
-wildly different directions there. Great, Okay.
Lex (05:31):
Here let’s let it pick up some of the radiator sound. [whispering]
Jordan (05:42):
No I don’t want to listen to you do this. I have to edit.
Lex (05:52):
No, I just want a little [whispering]. Sorry Mr. Marshmallow. Does that sound dirty?
Lex (05:58):
I got him with my leg he’s in like – oh – my legs. I know that’s not gonna be in the episode so that’s why I let it out.
Jordan (06:13):
Good call.
Lex (06:13):
My back, my legs. My back
Jordan (06:16):
My lower back is killing me.
Lex (06:19):
List me baby one more time.
Jordan (06:21):
I must confess so I’m on knees. I’m [inaudible]
Lex (06:29):
List me baby one more time.
Jordan (06:40):
So I’m so-
Lex (06:41):
Maybe the mutual aid was just the ants, marching that I sang to you in the car all along.
Jordan (06:48):
I don’t think it was cause I definitely did not ask for that, but
Lex (06:55):
Ahh- my leg. It keeps cramping. Ah!
Jordan (07:03):
You need more potassium in your diet broski.
Lex (07:05):
Oh God.
Jordan (07:07):
You gotta chomp some nanners broksi.
Lex (07:08):
Oh Rootbeer. Rootbeer are you concerned? It’s okay, baby. I’m fine, for now.
Jordan (07:15):
She’s laying on my foot now.
Lex (07:18):
Aw she’s laying next to my leg. Cute.
Jordan (07:20):
She’s probably loving this right now. Cause she’s up against my, Oh, she’s rubbing her face on my ankle right now.
Lex (07:26):
I’m rubbing her feet. She hates it.
Jordan (07:31):
Do we want to get into a-
Lex (07:38):
How you doing? Making yourself laugh? Just letting it all out in the blanket fort? Yet again?
Jordan (07:46):
I’m so sorry.
Lex (07:48):
This is the problem with me being the one who burps more often is I’m like oh I know how to handle it. I’ll cover my mouth but every time we’re in here and you burp your just like yeah
Jordan (07:59):
I just don’t expect it, it just comes right out.
Lex (08:01):
I know, I know.
Jordan (08:02):
I’m so sorry I will work on it.
Lex (08:04):
Honestly it doesn’t matter. It’s okay. I just like giving you s*** about it.
Jordan (08:08):
That’s fair, that’s fair.
Lex (08:09):
Is this the treasure chest?
Jordan (08:10):
Yeah.
Lex (08:11):
You carried it all the way in here?
Jordan (08:12):
Ye-yeah.
Jordan (08:14):
I could’da helped. [inaudible]
Jordan (08:18):
It’s also not that heavy, so.
Jordan (08:19):
Okay.
Jordan (08:20):
Do you want to do some listener qu-? I’m gonna take it again if you had anything else you wanted to say first.
Lex (08:25):
I was just going to say strong like ox. Yeah
Lex (08:31):
Let’s just have fun.
Jordan (08:32):
Let’s do that.
Lex (08:33):
What’s your favorite thing about doing a podcast with me?
Jordan (08:35):
I think my favorite thing about doing a podcast with you is that I know that I’m going to be something, I – I think my favorite thing about doing a podcast with you is that I know I’m going to get to spend time every single week making art with my best friend.
Lex (08:53):
It sounded like you said making out instead of making art and like if that’s how we want to do it, okay.
Jordan (09:00):
Don’t tell Capone.
Lex (09:02):
Or do. Oh. We’re gonna cut this part.
Jordan (09:08):
Do you want me to say it again?
Lex (09:09):
Yeah.
Jordan (09:17):
My favorite thing about making a podcast with you is knowing that I am going to get to make art every week with my best friend.
Lex (09:26):
Every other week.
Jordan (09:27):
Every other week. Son of a tits. We’re so good at podcasting!
Lex (09:34):
We’re so good at podcasting. Mom, I did the podcast.
Jordan (09:38):
Okay. My favorite thing about making a podcast with you is knowing that I get to make some art with my best friend every other week.
Lex (09:48):
Aww.
Jordan (09:49):
What’s your favorite thing about making a podcast?
Lex (09:50):
Well first of all that was disgusting. How dare you show so much affection on – I was going to say on TV – that’s not TV, this is an audio medium. Uh, my favorite thing about doing a podcast with yo- My favorite thing about doing a podcast with you every other week is that there’s just a concentrated time where you can make fun of me for how much I drink water out of a Hydro Flask.
Jordan (10:14):
Tune in every other week for Hydro Flask ASMR. You’re so loud, just fill it with beans. This is great audio.
Lex (10:26):
I got the headphones on.
Jordan (10:28):
We are podcast professionals making a professional podcast about ADHD, where we never get distracted or go off topic.
Lex (10:37):
Never ever, ever, ever.
Jordan (10:38):
It’s not gonna happen.
Lex (10:39):
It’s definitely not a thing.
Jordan (10:42):
I’m not going to start telling stories about you in college.
Lex (10:45):
No. Uh, we’re not going to talk about like, Bob Saget. We’re not going to talk about hot air balloons. We’re definitely just going to talk about ADHD.
Jordan (10:54):
That totally ruins my Bob Saget in a hot air balloon conspiracy theory. God.
Lex (11:02):
Everywhere you look. Everywhere yo- there’s a heart – I need to hold onto. Everywhere-
Jordan (11:12):
Sing us, play us out. Play it again Sam.
Lex (11:14):
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So.
Jordan (11:18):
Everything went to hell, I suppose.
Lex (11:26):
That’s a- That is a way of putting it. Yes.
Jordan (11:28):
Everything.
Lex (11:29):
Everything popped off.
Jordan (11:30):
Everything popped off. Yes. And we’ve had some long conversations about- you want t- you want to open that Hydro Flask now? You want t- You want to rattle that? You want to rattle that Hydro Flask? That flask full of hydro? Give it a- Give it a little shake for us. Give a little squiggle. Hmm there it is. That good, good audio.
Lex (11:50):
Stop.
Jordan (11:51):
Hot.
Lex (11:52):
Stop.
Jordan (11:52):
Anyways.
Lex (11:53):
Leave me alone.
Jordan (11:56):
We got to have some percussion in this. Got to lighten the mood because we are having a- ooo slapping noises. Those are fantastic to listen to. That is delicious in my ears.
Lex (12:15):
Do you know what I’m snapping and clapping?
Jordan (12:17):
No.
Lex (12:18):
It’s the Wii. The Wii, Mii [singing]. Anyways okay this is – we’re trying to re-record
Jordan (12:30):
Hold on. Got to juice up.
Lex (12:37):
Oh yeah, cool.
Jordan (12:38):
I was gonna say where were we?
Lex (12:40):
Oh hi baby. Hi. Oh, look at her little face. -baby face. Little baby ears. Oh hello.
Jordan (12:50):
-cuddle -on the podcast.
Lex (12:52):
Do you want to be on the podcast Rootbeer?
Jordan (12:55):
Rootbeer. Say hello to our audience.
Lex (12:58):
You know she doesn’t do any meows on command ‘cause she’s a b**** and I love her. Cause she’s a little d***.
Jordan (13:03):
It’s not dinner time yet.
Lex (13:07):
It’s not time.
Jordan (13:08):
I was hoping that would work.
Lex (13:09):
It’s not time yet.
Jordan (13:10):
That usually gets her to meow.
Lex (13:11):
She’s like, looking at me like, what? Look at her. Oh my God.
Jordan (13:16):
She’s an angel baby.
Lex (13:18):
But she has the eyes of a demon.
Jordan (13:20):
This is true.
Lex (13:21):
I love you. My little baby.
Jordan (13:24):
She’s a sweet, sweet girl.
Lex (13:26):
Sure. Sure she is.
Jordan (13:28):
She is.
Lex (13:29):
Yeah. Okay. It’s been so long. What’s our intro? Who are we? What’s our podcast call-?
Jordan (13:37):
So those are all things that your general, like physical neighbors, city.
Lex (13:44):
Sorry. I thought you were going to wait. You were starting to go on and I was like. Okay.
Jordan (13:54):
It’s committing more Hydro Flask crimes. Great.
Lex (14:00):
Slight little-
Jordan (14:03):
Play it. Sing us a song.
Both (14:00):
[singing]
Lex (14:33):
Um, anyways. Uh, yeah, I, um, thank you.
Jordan (14:41):
Yeah
Lex (14:41):
Thank you everyone for coming to this open mic night. Uh, that was a new track off of my EP. Um, My Hydro Flask, my weed induced smoke- my smoker induced voice.
Jordan (15:03):
Your weed induced smoking?
Lex (15:04):
My – My weed induced smoking voice. That’s what I was gonna say, but thank you for everyone. Uh, if anyone wants to check out where this new track came from the EP will be on sale in the back by the t-shirts and the old donuts. Thank you so much. It’s called my Hydro Flask and me.
Jordan (15:27):
They’re on SoundCloud.
Lex (15:29):
And also we do have a music video channel, but it’s only on Vimeo.
Jordan (15:39):
Also, uh the drummer who plays with us sometimes does actually make candles that we have for sale as well.
Lex (15:49):
Yeah. And don’t get them mixed up with the donuts cause they are donut shaped.
Jordan (15:54):
Like ironically though. They’re shaped like capitalism eating its own tail and gluttony.
Lex (15:59):
You know, like a sugary dunked in frosting ouroboros. So anyways.
Jordan (16:06):
Anyways thanks for listening. Have a good night.
(16:08):
[Outro Music: There Is A Dark Place by Tom Rosenthal]
(00:00):
[Intro Music: There Is A Dark Place by Tom Rosenthal]
Lex (00:27):
And you can take it away with the script…Good, good.
Jordan (00:36):
Doing really good on the podcast so far.
Lex (00:38):
Yes.
Lex (00:42):
So uh we live with our two Kit-Kats. Their names are Ned and Rootbeer and they are so smelly.
Jordan (00:47):
They’re the worst. We love them so much.
Lex (00:49):
Little bastards. I love them.
Jordan (00:51):
Can we say bastards?
Lex (00:52):
Bastards. Um, I don’t know why I said it like-
Jordan (00:56):
Bastards.
Lex (00:57):
Like, uh, what’s his name on, gosh, this is the second time while testing for this podcast that Anastasia has come up, but Bartok, bastards, the cats are bastards.
Jordan (01:08):
Please just do the whole podcast like that.
Lex (01:11):
Oh, no. I sound now like I’m just making fun of anybody from, this just in Bartok is problematic.
Jordan (01:21):
Bartok is canceled.
Lex (01:22):
Bartok get out o-, just kidding. I love you Bartok. I used to have a little beanie baby.
Jordan (01:24):
It’s a good movie.
Lex (01:28):
Yeah.
Jordan (01:29):
Why do we keep coming back to Anastasia on this podcast?
Lex (01:30):
Because I say things like bastard.
Jordan (01:35):
Are you going to do silly voices for the podcast?
Lex (01:37):
Proba- no. Yes.
Jordan (01:39):
Yessss.
Lex (01:40):
Um, ooh, wait, which silly voice should I do now?
Jordan (01:44):
Number 10.
Lex (01:48):
Sweetf***.
Jordan (01:50):
We can’t put that in the podcast.
Lex (01:51):
I know
Jordan (01:52):
You said a naughty word.
Lex (01:52):
I know, I know.
Jordan (01:53):
She said the f*** word.
Lex (01:54):
I said the f*** word.
Lex (01:55):
Uh, but yeah. Uh, I’m uh, ari now. Good ne-. Not so bad. Good. McMurray. Have you ever noticed that when you try to talk like uh McMurray, you. I don’t know if you ever tried to talk like McMurray but you have to clench your butt cheeks to do it. You have to just like – [mumbling] My name is McMurray and –
Jordan (02:16):
No, my God. You’re so right. You just gotta clench.
Lex (02:18):
You do. And your like [mumbling]
Lex (02:25):
[mumbling] c*** sucking j-
Jordan (02:27):
We also can’t say that on the podcast.
Lex (02:28):
I know. We can’t talk about Letterkenny in our podcast trailer probably anyways.
Jordan (02:31):
Probably not.
Lex (02:32):
But like, just, hmph anyways.
Jordan (02:34):
Sometimes that’s a secret to doing a good voice is you just got to clench.
Lex (02:37):
Sometimes to do the silly voice, you got to clench your butt cheeks, strap yourself in and go for it.
Jordan (02:45):
Let it go. Not your butt, but-
Lex (02:46):
Follow your dreams.
Lex (02:48):
I mean like, if you want to fart, if you want to let it go, if you want to s*** your pants, you can.
Jordan (02:54):
This is America. That is your right.
Lex (02:55):
Yeah. Can we say s***?
Jordan (02:58):
Can we say s***?
Lex (02:59):
I don’t know.
Jordan (02:59):
I don’t know.
Lex (03:00):
Well, we did.
Jordan (03:01):
Have a good night, do some sweet flips and we’ll see you soon. Damnit.
Lex (03:10):
All right, wanna take that again?
Jordan (03:11):
Yeah. Um.
Lex (03:15):
Yeah. Um, yeah. No Ned, stop it. Boy, boy. I swear. I swear, boy, boy, boy, if you don’t move that paw, from out under that door.
Jordan (03:30):
Can you tell Lex has been listening to a lot of Old Gods of Appalachia?
Lex (03:33):
Okay. Listen. I maintain that rural, like the Rust Belt, which is where I’m from, from the Midwest, like-
Jordan (03:44):
Where I’m from.
Lex (03:46):
Would you shut up? Um, uh, no. I mean, okay, so the Rust Belt, rural. Okay. So rural. I, I will forever. Oh my God. Ned!
Jordan (03:57):
This is- this episode is a disaster.
Lex (04:00):
Yeah, no. Um, I still maintain that Appalachia and um, I still maintain the Appalachia and rural areas of the Rust Belt, which is where I’m from, are essentially the same thing. Just slightly different scenery.
Jordan (04:16):
Cool.
Lex (04:17):
I maintain, I don’t know. Yeah.
Jordan (04:20):
Cool. Yeah. I’m from Washington. So y’all do whatever you want out here.
Lex (04:23):
Yeah. There’s, there’s definitely something about being from a rural area that like other people who grew up in rural areas. I know you get it, also Ned you stupid little b****. You son of a d***.
Lex (04:36):
I like to think I’m on like the Griffin McElroy level of Weeb where I really like Bowen and things like Sailor Moon.
Jordan (04:41):
Bowen slaps though.
Lex (04:42):
Right. But even, one time Jordan told me point blank. I would love to go to a Bowen concert because it would just be me, you, Griffin McElroy and a bunch of weebs. And I said, so you and a bunch of weebs.
Jordan (04:55):
Yeah.
Lex (04:56):
Are we allowed to just tag the Mac – like Griffin McElroy?
Jordan (04:58):
I don’t think so. I don’t know if we’re allowed to even talk about other podcasters. I think that the-
Lex (05:03):
No one’s paying us though.
Jordan (05:05):
That’s fair but-
Lex (05:06):
We don’t have sponsors. Aren’t we allowed to say their names? Griffin is your name copyrighted? You can fight me. Let’s go. Outside at dawn, swords drawn.
Jordan (05:15):
The world is – Nope, I’m not going to go there.
Lex (05:17):
What the world is, what the world is, what?
Jordan (05:20):
Not ready.
Lex (05:20):
Okay.
Lex (05:23):
I f***** your mom s***-
Jordan (05:26):
-wildly different directions there. Great, Okay.
Lex (05:31):
Here let’s let it pick up some of the radiator sound. [whispering]
Jordan (05:42):
No I don’t want to listen to you do this. I have to edit.
Lex (05:52):
No, I just want a little [whispering]. Sorry Mr. Marshmallow. Does that sound dirty?
Lex (05:58):
I got him with my leg he’s in like – oh – my legs. I know that’s not gonna be in the episode so that’s why I let it out.
Jordan (06:13):
Good call.
Lex (06:13):
My back, my legs. My back
Jordan (06:16):
My lower back is killing me.
Lex (06:19):
List me baby one more time.
Jordan (06:21):
I must confess so I’m on knees. I’m [inaudible]
Lex (06:29):
List me baby one more time.
Jordan (06:40):
So I’m so-
Lex (06:41):
Maybe the mutual aid was just the ants, marching that I sang to you in the car all along.
Jordan (06:48):
I don’t think it was cause I definitely did not ask for that, but
Lex (06:55):
Ahh- my leg. It keeps cramping. Ah!
Jordan (07:03):
You need more potassium in your diet broski.
Lex (07:05):
Oh God.
Jordan (07:07):
You gotta chomp some nanners broksi.
Lex (07:08):
Oh Rootbeer. Rootbeer are you concerned? It’s okay, baby. I’m fine, for now.
Jordan (07:15):
She’s laying on my foot now.
Lex (07:18):
Aw she’s laying next to my leg. Cute.
Jordan (07:20):
She’s probably loving this right now. Cause she’s up against my, Oh, she’s rubbing her face on my ankle right now.
Lex (07:26):
I’m rubbing her feet. She hates it.
Jordan (07:31):
Do we want to get into a-
Lex (07:38):
How you doing? Making yourself laugh? Just letting it all out in the blanket fort? Yet again?
Jordan (07:46):
I’m so sorry.
Lex (07:48):
This is the problem with me being the one who burps more often is I’m like oh I know how to handle it. I’ll cover my mouth but every time we’re in here and you burp your just like yeah
Jordan (07:59):
I just don’t expect it, it just comes right out.
Lex (08:01):
I know, I know.
Jordan (08:02):
I’m so sorry I will work on it.
Lex (08:04):
Honestly it doesn’t matter. It’s okay. I just like giving you s*** about it.
Jordan (08:08):
That’s fair, that’s fair.
Lex (08:09):
Is this the treasure chest?
Jordan (08:10):
Yeah.
Lex (08:11):
You carried it all the way in here?
Jordan (08:12):
Ye-yeah.
Jordan (08:14):
I could’da helped. [inaudible]
Jordan (08:18):
It’s also not that heavy, so.
Jordan (08:19):
Okay.
Jordan (08:20):
Do you want to do some listener qu-? I’m gonna take it again if you had anything else you wanted to say first.
Lex (08:25):
I was just going to say strong like ox. Yeah
Lex (08:31):
Let’s just have fun.
Jordan (08:32):
Let’s do that.
Lex (08:33):
What’s your favorite thing about doing a podcast with me?
Jordan (08:35):
I think my favorite thing about doing a podcast with you is that I know that I’m going to be something, I – I think my favorite thing about doing a podcast with you is that I know I’m going to get to spend time every single week making art with my best friend.
Lex (08:53):
It sounded like you said making out instead of making art and like if that’s how we want to do it, okay.
Jordan (09:00):
Don’t tell Capone.
Lex (09:02):
Or do. Oh. We’re gonna cut this part.
Jordan (09:08):
Do you want me to say it again?
Lex (09:09):
Yeah.
Jordan (09:17):
My favorite thing about making a podcast with you is knowing that I am going to get to make art every week with my best friend.
Lex (09:26):
Every other week.
Jordan (09:27):
Every other week. Son of a tits. We’re so good at podcasting!
Lex (09:34):
We’re so good at podcasting. Mom, I did the podcast.
Jordan (09:38):
Okay. My favorite thing about making a podcast with you is knowing that I get to make some art with my best friend every other week.
Lex (09:48):
Aww.
Jordan (09:49):
What’s your favorite thing about making a podcast?
Lex (09:50):
Well first of all that was disgusting. How dare you show so much affection on – I was going to say on TV – that’s not TV, this is an audio medium. Uh, my favorite thing about doing a podcast with yo- My favorite thing about doing a podcast with you every other week is that there’s just a concentrated time where you can make fun of me for how much I drink water out of a Hydro Flask.
Jordan (10:14):
Tune in every other week for Hydro Flask ASMR. You’re so loud, just fill it with beans. This is great audio.
Lex (10:26):
I got the headphones on.
Jordan (10:28):
We are podcast professionals making a professional podcast about ADHD, where we never get distracted or go off topic.
Lex (10:37):
Never ever, ever, ever.
Jordan (10:38):
It’s not gonna happen.
Lex (10:39):
It’s definitely not a thing.
Jordan (10:42):
I’m not going to start telling stories about you in college.
Lex (10:45):
No. Uh, we’re not going to talk about like, Bob Saget. We’re not going to talk about hot air balloons. We’re definitely just going to talk about ADHD.
Jordan (10:54):
That totally ruins my Bob Saget in a hot air balloon conspiracy theory. God.
Lex (11:02):
Everywhere you look. Everywhere yo- there’s a heart – I need to hold onto. Everywhere-
Jordan (11:12):
Sing us, play us out. Play it again Sam.
Lex (11:14):
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So.
Jordan (11:18):
Everything went to hell, I suppose.
Lex (11:26):
That’s a- That is a way of putting it. Yes.
Jordan (11:28):
Everything.
Lex (11:29):
Everything popped off.
Jordan (11:30):
Everything popped off. Yes. And we’ve had some long conversations about- you want t- you want to open that Hydro Flask now? You want t- You want to rattle that? You want to rattle that Hydro Flask? That flask full of hydro? Give it a- Give it a little shake for us. Give a little squiggle. Hmm there it is. That good, good audio.
Lex (11:50):
Stop.
Jordan (11:51):
Hot.
Lex (11:52):
Stop.
Jordan (11:52):
Anyways.
Lex (11:53):
Leave me alone.
Jordan (11:56):
We got to have some percussion in this. Got to lighten the mood because we are having a- ooo slapping noises. Those are fantastic to listen to. That is delicious in my ears.
Lex (12:15):
Do you know what I’m snapping and clapping?
Jordan (12:17):
No.
Lex (12:18):
It’s the Wii. The Wii, Mii [singing]. Anyways okay this is – we’re trying to re-record
Jordan (12:30):
Hold on. Got to juice up.
Lex (12:37):
Oh yeah, cool.
Jordan (12:38):
I was gonna say where were we?
Lex (12:40):
Oh hi baby. Hi. Oh, look at her little face. -baby face. Little baby ears. Oh hello.
Jordan (12:50):
-cuddle -on the podcast.
Lex (12:52):
Do you want to be on the podcast Rootbeer?
Jordan (12:55):
Rootbeer. Say hello to our audience.
Lex (12:58):
You know she doesn’t do any meows on command ‘cause she’s a b**** and I love her. Cause she’s a little d***.
Jordan (13:03):
It’s not dinner time yet.
Lex (13:07):
It’s not time.
Jordan (13:08):
I was hoping that would work.
Lex (13:09):
It’s not time yet.
Jordan (13:10):
That usually gets her to meow.
Lex (13:11):
She’s like, looking at me like, what? Look at her. Oh my God.
Jordan (13:16):
She’s an angel baby.
Lex (13:18):
But she has the eyes of a demon.
Jordan (13:20):
This is true.
Lex (13:21):
I love you. My little baby.
Jordan (13:24):
She’s a sweet, sweet girl.
Lex (13:26):
Sure. Sure she is.
Jordan (13:28):
She is.
Lex (13:29):
Yeah. Okay. It’s been so long. What’s our intro? Who are we? What’s our podcast call-?
Jordan (13:37):
So those are all things that your general, like physical neighbors, city.
Lex (13:44):
Sorry. I thought you were going to wait. You were starting to go on and I was like. Okay.
Jordan (13:54):
It’s committing more Hydro Flask crimes. Great.
Lex (14:00):
Slight little-
Jordan (14:03):
Play it. Sing us a song.
Both (14:00):
[singing]
Lex (14:33):
Um, anyways. Uh, yeah, I, um, thank you.
Jordan (14:41):
Yeah
Lex (14:41):
Thank you everyone for coming to this open mic night. Uh, that was a new track off of my EP. Um, My Hydro Flask, my weed induced smoke- my smoker induced voice.
Jordan (15:03):
Your weed induced smoking?
Lex (15:04):
My – My weed induced smoking voice. That’s what I was gonna say, but thank you for everyone. Uh, if anyone wants to check out where this new track came from the EP will be on sale in the back by the t-shirts and the old donuts. Thank you so much. It’s called my Hydro Flask and me.
Jordan (15:27):
They’re on SoundCloud.
Lex (15:29):
And also we do have a music video channel, but it’s only on Vimeo.
Jordan (15:39):
Also, uh the drummer who plays with us sometimes does actually make candles that we have for sale as well.
Lex (15:49):
Yeah. And don’t get them mixed up with the donuts cause they are donut shaped.
Jordan (15:54):
Like ironically though. They’re shaped like capitalism eating its own tail and gluttony.
Lex (15:59):
You know, like a sugary dunked in frosting ouroboros. So anyways.
Jordan (16:06):
Anyways thanks for listening. Have a good night.
(16:08):
[Outro Music: There Is A Dark Place by Tom Rosenthal]
OLP 011.5: Clench Your Buttcheeks & Let It Out (It’s Bloopers) – Transcript