[Intro audio: “There is a Dark Place,” by Tom Rosenthal]
Jordan (00:29):
Hi, I’m Jordan.
Lex:
And I’m Lex.
Jordan:
And this is Or, Learn Parkour.
Lex:
A podcast about ADHD done by two people who for sure have ADHD and in a new place now.
Jordan:
We are, I’m trying to think of a better way of saying it than in the closet.
Lex:
We’re right in it, right in that closet.
Jordan:
Yes, we are. Doors shut, lights are on. It’s actually very cozy.
Lex:
Yeah. Put up some string lights at the last minute to make it a little bit more homey. Still need to probably work on our insulation and sound, sort of, muting, but we’re doing our best.
Jordan:
Now we don’t have to build a blanket fort in my bedroom every other week.
Lex:
Yeah. And now we don’t have to, hopefully, sweat so much.
Jordan:
Oh my gosh. It was so sweaty.
Lex:
So, so sweaty. So, if our audio quality seems different or worse.
Jordan:
Don’t say anything.
Lex (01:19):
Don’t worry about it.
Jordan:
Trust me. I know I listened to this so much. It’s so in my ears, I’m very aware. I’m doing my best.
Lex:
Yeah. Anyways, welcome back. It’s been a hot minute because if it’s a holiday, we generally skip podcasting.
Jordan:
Yeah, we’re holidaying. We hope you holidayed too.
Lex:
Safely.
Jordan:
Safely. Yes. That is a very important component of holidaying.
Lex:
Yeah. But yeah, we came back feeling relatively rested and rejuvenated, which is saying something considering in our personal lives and in the world, I think in everyone’s personal lives, at this point because of the world. There’s just nobody, no one’s doing okay. None of us are and that’s ooh, yeah, Mitski. It really adds something when the cats start trying to attack us from under the door, while you sing that.
Jordan:
The cats have discovered the closet.
Lex (02:14):
Yeah. They know about it, but they’ve discovered that we are in here and they are not. And boy, howdy, that’s not a good time for them. They love us and we love them, but it’s not a bad time for us. They are meowing.
Jordan:
Well we do, ‘cause they’re doing it on the other side of the door.
Lex:
We’ll see though.
Jordan:
We will.
Lex:
Anyways, yeah. Everything’s kind of gone to shit. Well, okay. Let me rephrase. Everything’s sorta just still shit, but it just keeps snowballing into more. We’re doing our best, you’re doing your best.
Jordan:
Just go watch that video from Steve from Blues Clues on repeat and stick with us. And if you’re having a shit time, you’re not alone.
Lex:
Yeah. And speaking of shit times, this week it’s loosely, loosely going to be about back to school, I don’t know. Insert generic, maybe back to school, Labor Day sale music. I don’t know.
Jordan:
That was what that was.
Lex:
Oh, amazing. Thank you.
Jordan:
Yeah, I got you.
Lex:
Cool, cool, cool. We can just fix that in post, right? We just kind of edit things over in post.
Jordan:
None of this conversation will stay in the episode.
Lex (03:31):
I think it depends on how funny we are. I think it depends on how good we can keep it going. Like how smooth can we make this bit? How long can we force our audience to tolerate it?
Jordan:
Velvety, can we just keep these goofs a slidin’.
Lex:
How can we just ASMR, but with fun.
Jordan:
How can we just dip this podcast in Velveeta like a slightly stale tortilla chip.
Lex:
Anyways. Yes, we’re talking about back to school. ‘Cause it’s that time of year and somehow, someway people are just going back to school right now.
Jordan:
Yeah. In a major way.
Lex (04:17):
Yeah. Sorry for my borderline deranged behavior, I’m just like, big I’ll stop the world and melt with you.
Jordan:
You’ve seen the difference, but it’s not getting better all the time.
Lex:
So at this point it’s like, gotta just laugh. It’s like, wow, we sure are.
Jordan:
We sure are.
Lex:
We sure are. As a society and a culture on a very wide scale, we are all, we are.
Jordan:
Anyways. So this week on Or, Learn Parkour, we’re going to take a little trip to the past and just have a little chat about our back to school experiences. And I’m trying to think of a better way of putting it than warning signs. Do you want to give everyone an idea of what we’re going to chat about today? What our theme is?
Lex:
Yeah. So, you know, when you yourself or someone, you know, gets diagnosed with ADHD and they go through, almost inevitably, this sort of looking back on the past and a lot of self-reflection and looking at moments in our lives and histories and whatnot, where we see ourselves making choices, or not making choices as it were, just existing. And you know, from hindsight is 2020, sort of, point of view. How did nobody know? Hello, come get this child, come get this weird little child. Nobody saw. Nobody said anything, nothing.
Jordan:
I’m just imagining a game show like The Price Is Right. Except it’s How Did Nobody Know? Welcome to the show where every week three students talk about their lives.
Lex:
Keep going. I’m here for you. I’m a willing and ready audience. Keep it rolling.
Jordan:
And you have to guess which one of them has an undiagnosed learning disability.
Lex:
Bad, bad TV show. Very bad, but very funny.
Jordan:
Very relatable too, unfortunately.
Lex:
Yeah. So we will be talking about, in short, some moments in our past.
Jordan:
That we wondered how nobody knew.
Lex:
And, you know, had someone noticed maybe we could have had help or diagnoses or acknowledgement. Validation.
Jordan (06:50):
Validation’s nice.
Lex:
Yeah. Something. A little earlier than we did. And not saying that I’m ungrateful because I am glad to have reached this point at all, but also the comedic effect of, you know, looking back into your past and seeing how you would just go make houses for the elves in the woods by yourself and find tree hollows to sit in while eating spring onions that you’d pulled out of the ground for like five hours, just vibing. And nobody even looked at me and said, hmm, weird. I did definitely get bullied a lot, but it builds character. That’s not true. That’s not true. That is not true. For me I think that is what happened, but that’s not how you build character.
Jordan:
That’s not necessary. This is not an advice podcast.
Lex (07:47):
Oh no. And definitely not a medical podcast either. We are not doctors or psychologists or psychiatrists or therapists, nothing.
Jordan:
We don’t know anything.
Lex:
I got a master’s degree in anthropology, which is about the vaguest master’s degree you can get. No offense to my other friends out there who have higher degrees in anthropology. I know it’s much more complex than that. And I applaud you for pursuing your dream and the life that you love but it’s not for me.
Jordan:
I mean, I can’t judge you.
Lex:
Yeah, no, no, you can’t. But we’ve been over that a couple of times. So I don’t want to keep dunking on you for it, but we’re not experts on much of anything except for our own lived experiences.
Jordan:
And even then I don’t remember a lot of my life.
Lex:
Okay. Yeah. I mean, that’s definitely something too. That’s definitely something too, but also, you know, what we do remember is just our experience and if it helps you feel seen, known, mayhaps even loved, amazing.
Jordan (08:42):
That’d be dope. Love that journey for you.
Lex:
Love that journey for all of us, right? Let’s bring it all in together, team. Okay. So, Jordan, what is the earliest time you can think back to where somebody should’ve, maybe it wasn’t a red flag, but an orange flag, like somebody, even yellow, but just something, what was the first inkling?
Jordan:
Hmm. I mean the first vivid memory that I have would be 5th grade. For the most part, I did pretty well in school. I really enjoyed it. And I think that that makes a lot of people kind of toss ADHD off the plate, into the recycle bin.
Lex:
Nerd. I’m just building your character.
Jordan:
Again. This is not an advice podcast, do not do as we say or do.
Lex:
You could, but don’t.
Jordan (09:36):
We won’t stop you, but we’re not endorsing it. We’re not responsible for what happens.
Lex:
You know, tangent. I did just get some new tattoos.
Jordan:
Oh, they’re so sick.
Lex:
Sums up very well. Thank you to [inaudible] Chan on Instagram for doing these really good tattoos on the backs of my arms that say, on the back of my left arm it says play stupid games in American traditional font.
Jordan:
And what does it say on your right arm?
Lex:
Win stupid prizes. And this is as much a reminder for me as it is to literally anybody else who encounters me in life.
Jordan:
A good reminder for everyone, I think.
Lex:
Yeah. So, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. If you bully someone and they punch you, we’re not liable.
Jordan:
That’s a pretty stupid game. Wouldn’t recommend it, but inequitably stupid prize.
Lex:
That’s it. So, if you want to win the stupid prize then I guess, you know, chase your bliss, but think about it first. Think about the consequences just for even a second.
Jordan:
Yes, Bubba. Jesus. He opened the door.
Lex:
Look, I know that you’re gonna sit on my lap while I’m literally shitting in the bathroom, but this is different. This is a sacred space now.
Jordan:
I mean, you invite Root Beer into the bathroom.
Lex:
Yeah. I sure don’t just wrench the door open.
Jordan (10:49):
Ned. Am I just going to have to hold the door shut while we do this?
Lex:
I mean, that would not be ideal, but maybe for like a minute while he’s experimenting or if he starts to try again.
Jordan:
It’ll shut in the winter, but this door doesn’t shut in the summertime.
Lex:
Yeah. It’s swollen. A little thicker.
Jordan:
So, yeah. I’ll just sit here and hold the door.
Lex:
Yeah. Okay. So, 5th grade. Take me back. Take me there. Let’s do a little bit of theater of the mind just for me and the rest of you who are partaking in this experience.
Jordan:
It’s 5th grade. It’s 2005.
Lex:
One second, one second. I just want to see.
Jordan:
It is the year Under the Cork Tree came out, if that’s what you were checking.
Lex:
[Inaudible] I literally was googling that.
Jordan:
I looked it up earlier today.
Lex (12:02):
Oh no, I saw your tweet about, what was the name? Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes and, yeah. For real, I’m so glad that you did that album and did that song because it was a good one. Coffee’s For Closers is also really good.
Jordan:
No, I’ve also been vibing to that one.
Lex:
Cool. It’s some of the same chord progressions.
Jordan:
Yeah. The lyrics of Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes are just really hitting, right now.
Lex:
Yeah. The change will come lyric is what’s to me personally for Coffee’s For Closers.
Jordan:
It’s got that big drum situation.
Lex:
Okay. Sorry. So, take me back. We’re in 5th grade, it’s 2005. Fall Out Boy has released what, in my opinion is their, I can’t even say it’s their best album. ‘Cause I don’t even know if I believe that fully, but it’s close.
Jordan:
I know how you feel about Folie à Deux.
Lex:
It is Folie à Deux. From Under the Cork Tree is the one that was. You’re discussing with me.
Jordan (13:02):
And I’m totally, I’m saying that I understand why you can’t say it’s their best album.
Lex:
Yes. Because Folie à Deux does also absolutely rip. Anyway, so, you’re in 5th grade.
Jordan:
A formative album still.
Lex:
Yeah. You’re in 5th grade. Sugar, We’re Goin Down is playing in the background. You’re across the country in Michigan. Some idiot, 7th grader is hearing Dance, Dance come on at the school dance in middle school and starts to run towards the gym in my slippy socks and completely eat shit in front of the popular girls standing outside of the gymnasium part where the dancing is actually happening. But you bet that I jumped right back up and I ran in there and I jokingly was like, I said, I just fell over.
Jordan:
When the spirit of Patrick Stump compels you, you must dance, dance.
Lex:
Was I wearing a red plaid skirt over flared blue jeans from American Eagle, specifically?
Jordan (13:58):
I mean, was I wearing a black dress, a fedora and red high tops to the school dance. I was probably at, at the same time?
Lex:
You had school dances in 5th grade?
Jordan:
Oh no, I was thinking the 6th grade. We did not have school dances.
Lex:
I was like, damn. I knew Washington was progressive as a state, but damn. Especially Eastern Washington. I see. Okay. Sorry. I’ll stop commandeering this and my own sort of 2005 world. You just rocketed me though, bro. Like rocketed me. And I imagine in the film version of Or, Learn Parkour would be, you know, a montage back and forth vignettes. Vignettes? Beignets, that’s the, from New Orleans.
Jordan:
Beignets, yeah, the donuts. There’s vigne, which is a wine grape. There’s a lot of ‘eys’, but this is an ‘ette’.
Lex:
There are Vienna sausages.
Jordan:
Probably on your side of the vignette, yeah. That’s not as much of a thing in Washington. Anyways. So, on my side of the vignette, it’s 5th grade and then Mrs. Madison’s gifted and talented education class. I am the student of the week, this week. And that means there’s a corkboard at the front of the classroom that I get to decorate with pictures about my life. Bring in some things that are important to me. I get to tell the class about them. The only two things that I remember from this are bringing in, one: my favorite spatula, which is a totally normal item for a 5th grader to have, not just my own spatula, but my favorite one, and two: a photograph of me on my roof with a staple gun. That’s not the ADHD thing though. Yeah, no, that was just me being a weird kid. But the ADHD moment that I remember, is the other component of being student of the week was that you got to sit in a special desk for the week and it was in its own special cubicle. It had a nicer chair and there was the set of silver balls in this velvet case that were supposed to be like, you hold both of them in one hand and kind of move them around. And it’s supposed to exercise your hand and calm you. It’s supposed to be a calming exercise. And I remember working on a worksheet at my fancy, fancy desk and getting stuck on the worksheet, pulling out the set of, what was told to me to be calming toys, and playing with them and getting torn a new one from my teacher for playing with these toys before my worksheet was done. I think nowadays we call that fidgeting. But when I was in 5th grade, I got a refocus, which was the second worst thing that could happen to you short of getting sent to the principal’s office because you had to sit outside and fill out a piece of paper about why you were bad enough to sit outside. I cried every time I got a refocus in school and I think now we would look back and be like, oh, fidgeting. But this was pre-fidget toy era. This was a just pure, unadulterated US public school.
Lex:
Interesting, interesting.
Jordan:
So, that’s my first of many, admittedly. I know we’ve covered many of them in the show before, but that was the first. What about you? What is your side of the Vienna sausage here?
Lex:
Okay. Well, it would definitely be earlier than 7th grade, but that’s just where I was at in 2005. So, I think the first big indicator that I remember in terms of school was how, and I think part of it too, I know that little, little kids, having worked with little kids who are transitioning from preschool and kindergarten and into elementary school or primary school or whatever it’s called where you live, but you know, when you’re age six or seven and you start learning how to do big kids school, you know, or at least when people used to start, I don’t know when they start now, ‘cause I’m not in childcare field now, but I just have this one really strong memory of 3rd grade. I was over by the bookcase in the 3rd grade classroom and I’m pretty sure there was a lesson happening and I was just sort of wandering around. ‘Cause I think I recall doing that on occasion. I don’t know how much of that was supervised or unsupervised. ‘Cause I don’t remember that, but you know, you don’t think about that part when you’re just wandering around as a little kid, right? At least I wasn’t. And literally, when I would go home after school, I would be home alone for a while. So I was pretty independent early on. So, I think at one point I remember being really bored with what we were learning about and I remember going over and sitting in my little button down on the reading carpet, reading rug or whatever, and grabbing a couple books from the bookshelf and they were all, all, all of them were horse books. And I just remember being so, I think the first big indicator for me was the deep hyperfixation, and this was the same point in life where, when I was riding my bike, I pretended that my bike was actually a horse. And that was how I was getting around the neighborhood, as you do. I had little jump things and little hills and stuff that I had set up. I drew a stable on the offshoot of our driveway with sidewalk chalk.
Jordan:
That’s very ambitious.
Lex:
Oh, I went. I was so invested. I also still, to this day, I still remember most horse breeds and I know most of their temperaments, average sizes and heights. It’s bad. It’s never left.
Jordan:
It comes in handy occasionally.
Lex:
Yeah, occasionally. Like when you decided to start playing a D&D character who may or may not have been turned into a horse for their hubris. Anyways, that one’s not for sure, but if it is, I’ll keep y’all posted. ‘Cause I’m very excited. So I’m sitting there while the teacher is doing a completely different lesson. And I think at some point she was just, sort of, letting me do that because it was easier to teach everyone what was going on. And I was a pretty smart kid, so I didn’t need a ton of help. But I think then she did a little bit of independent reading or play time or whatever. And she just came and crouched down next to me. And she was like, so Alexa, you really like horses don’t you? And me being like, yeah. Looking up at her like, yes. Why do you ask? Look at this one, this is Bucephalus, historically the horse that belonged to Alexander the Great. My name’s Lexa, which is derived from Alexander, which is, do you know what that means? It means protector of mankind. That’s a lot for me to live up to [inaudible] a little baby. And I didn’t say those many words. So, I think about things like that. I know little kids are just interested in things and very forthright. I know that little kids will just tell you anything. They’ll say whatever. To see this happening multiple times. And then there’s more. This is the same year that Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron came out, if I recall. And Lord of the Rings also came out around this time. One of the Lord of the Rings had just come out. I remember this because my brother dressed up as Gollum for the premiere. For the midnight premiere with his friends.
Jordan:
Sorry, sorry. If your brother’s listening, you know where to find me, please let me know. But I want a five paragraph single spaced essay of why, out of all of the characters from the entire Lord of the Rings lore, you chose to dress up as Smeagle? ‘Cause that’s so much better than Gollum?
Lex:
Well, he was a big nerd about it. He had a chain around his neck.
Jordan:
Yes. That doesn’t answer the question.
Lex:
His friends were Frodo and Sam, they had a chain around Adam’s neck like he was Gollum [inaudible]
Jordan:
I only have more questions, Adam. I still want to know why, out of all of the characters in Lord of the Rings, why?
Jordan:
It’s funny for the bit.
Jordan:
Okay. Fair enough.
Lex:
Also, if you’d seen my brother in high school, you would understand. Love you, bro. Not that I have it all my damn self, just saying. Anyways. So, I knew that at the time. So, all of my closest friends in 3rd grade were boys because I was one of those girls, to the point where teachers commented on it and were worried that I wasn’t getting enough feminine friendship. It’s fine. I went to a private school before transferring to a public school and I may or may not have started crying when another student tried to tell me that Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron was not as good or as important or as fine of a film as, whatever, Lord of the Rings had just come out. And I think history will be on my side of this and so I do stand by my anger. One of the first hills that I was ready to, you know what? I’m not dying on that hill. Someone else is, but I’m not. Yeah. So, I burst into tears over an argument about someone basically just horses are dumb. Spirit is dumb, stupid. And me just being like, this is the worst thing that’s ever happened. You know, that people don’t like horses, the way I like horses.
Jordan:
How old were you at that point?
Lex:
Like seven or eight. I was in the 3rd grade.
Jordan:
It very well could have been the worst thing that happened to you at that point.
Lex:
Could have. Probably wasn’t, but it could’ve.
Jordan:
It sounds like it was very impactful to your spirit.
Lex:
Yeah. So, that was one of the first times I really knew. I was like, oh, I don’t fit in with the other kids. I did also wear a cape one day to school. It was one day though. It was one day. So it was like, I was weird enough to be cape kid, but just socially savvy enough to know not to be cape kid.
Jordan:
Who hasn’t done that though, worn a cape to school once?
Lex (24:36):
I think you might’ve just told on yourself more than you dunked on me.
Jordan:
I wasn’t trying to dunk on you but yeah.
Lex:
So, anyways, that was my first, sort of, indicator. The teacher maybe noticed something’s going on here, but didn’t address it otherwise. Just like, okay, this kid just really fucking loves horses I guess. Geez, embarrassing. I don’t know where to go from here.
Jordan:
I mean, I can’t really judge you though, ‘cause I’m pretty sure when I was in late elementary school, early middle school, every single time I would be around a cantaloupe, I would make sure that everyone in the room knew that that’s not actually a cantaloupe, it’s a muskmelon. Real cantaloupes actually only grow in Europe, and go into the history of why they don’t grow in the US and they’re not imported. Not that I think that having strong interests is necessarily an ADHD trait in and of itself, but yeah, looking back, wondering, nobody thought anything about that?
Lex (25:45):
Not even a question? Not even a little hmm, you know? Again, orange flag, a very early indicator where it could be a multitude of things causing this particular behavior, but it is a behavior.
Jordan:
It is. I will say, I think the first red flag would be, I guess, starting in 3rd grade, because that’s when I got put in the gifted program in elementary school, which I was in some version of basically through high school. And I know for a fact that I got into that program because I was reading. I read Pride and Prejudice in 5th grade. That was just, kind of, the kind of kid I was. But that’s what got me into that program. It was not my math skills. I underperformed in math, my entire school career. I remember in 5th grade, again, having to sit out in the hallway and finish my math worksheet most of the time, because we would have time to do them in class and then we’d go over them as a class, but I was never ready to go over them with the rest of the class. So, that happened in 5th grade. I think once I started getting individual grades in math class, I might’ve gotten a B- my first 6th grade math class, but I don’t think I got above a C from 7th grade until my junior year of high school when I stopped doing school full time so that I wouldn’t have to do math class. And I got grounded for not doing my math homework. I got high-key shamed by teachers. I got suspended from doing extracurricular activities. I asked to be transferred to not a gifted math class. ‘Cause they kept putting me in the high level math classes ‘cause I was a, quote unquote, high level kid and doing poorly in them and got ignored. I just consistently did really bad at math all the time. And nobody thought anything of it. Nobody was like, oh, you need a math tutor or you should be in a lower level class and not the one that you’re consistently getting Cs in, no matter how hard you try. I just got that, well you don’t like math so try harder, for 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th. Well, 10th grade is when I stopped taking math. I had to take another year of math in college. So, six years of my life just being told that I needed to try harder when I just stared at the page and felt like I couldn’t see.
Lex:
Yeah. Wow. This just took a really intense turn. I’m very sorry that your life went that way.
Jordan:
I mean, it turned out okay. I was correct in my assessment at a young age that I didn’t, sorry, math teachers, I didn’t need to know a lot of that. I understand the brain growth that it’s there for, but I don’t use it. I turned out okay. I guess that was my second big ADHD, in the more hyperactive, maybe impulsive sense, was in, can’t remember if it was junior or senior year, but one of the years. I didn’t do full-time high school, my junior or senior year. My junior year I did a work training program and I basically did a year of culinary school. My second year of high school I had an internship so I only did three classes at my high school instead of six. But one of those years, somebody decided that I needed to be in a pre-calculus class, which I didn’t. I didn’t need the credit. I actually needed to take another class that time to get the credits I needed to graduate. But my guidance counselor said I had to take pre-calculus because I needed to if I was going to go to college at all, ever, for anything, which is a pretty hot take, in and of itself. But I was kind of a goody two shoes for a fair amount of my school career. I didn’t get in trouble a whole lot on purpose. I wasn’t sneaking out or acting up or doing a whole lot of those things, but I just skipped class every day to sit in front of her door and glare at her until she changed my class. And it worked. But yeah. Sorry. That got very intense. I think I still have a little, I’m over it. I’m fine.
Lex:
Sure thing, bro. Hell yeah. Love you, here to support. No matter what [inaudible]
Jordan:
I’m fine. No, I’m good. I’m good.
Lex:
Yeah. I guess it makes sense. My big problem was just if there was something more interesting I would not just be distracted by that, but I would actively seek that out in my other classes. So, I remember my 8th grade math teacher, he hated me and I did not like him very much either. I got put into the lowest level math class when I switched to public school, which was, I think, harder for my mom than it was for me. I remember feeling really ashamed, but in a way of, I didn’t really know that that’s what was happening. And I eventually worked my way up into the higher level math class, but then once middle school started, they just put me back in the average, normal math. But I don’t know, when I think about the math classes that I did really poorly in or the econ class that I did really poorly in. It’s because I either didn’t like the teacher. And so I actively was like, I don’t want to learn this from you. Maybe if someone else taught me, maybe. It’s a hard maybe, but I also was just very, I know this is a lot more of the impulsivity and emotional reactionary sort of side, but I was always so defiant and I don’t regret it. And I think I was right too, because like you said, I haven’t needed to use that stuff. But then I did have an awesome math teacher junior year, early sophomore year and senior year I think. He was super fun, made things structured, but not too structured and fast paced enough to be interesting, but slow enough and malleable enough that people could sort of take their time. It would be okay or whatever. And his main thing that, I think I took pre-algebra and pre-calc or something. And that was the highest I went. So, I think I was in, quote unquote, average math class, but I may have been in the low one. I can’t remember. But regardless, I liked math by the end there. I could appreciate it, you know? I see you mathematics. I see you as a field. That’s interesting to me. And it helps that I befriended a huge math nerd in college. I was like, oh yeah. Oh yeah. Now I’m like, oh, look at that golden ratio or ooh, Fibonacci. Yes. I know him.
Jordan:
I do respect a good Fibonacci.
Lex:
So, that’s what I’m saying, ‘cause mathematics and stem fields generally have so much beauty and art in them. And so I will always be of the opinion that we should all have banded together against the business and econ majors. I mean, econ you’re on thin ice, but for sure the business majors. ‘Cause we have a lot more in common than popular media wants us to believe.
Jordan:
Oh yeah, science is art, art is science. I’m with you there.
Lex:
That’s it. I did not feel this way, really, in high school. And so same in terms of people being like, you just don’t like math, you just need to try harder. And me being like, yeah, of course I don’t like math. This teacher is a fucking asshole. Being really aggressive back. But then also being like, well, but I do want to be a zoologist and I do want to do biology in college, so I need to do this.
Jordan:
I didn’t know that you wanted to do biology.
Lex:
Yeah, that’s why I was a TA for my senior year of high school for my bio teacher. And so I took bio with him in 10th grade. Oh, this is the person whose class I saw Sonic the Hedgehog [inaudible] but that wasn’t his fault. And when I was his TA, two years later, I did get to occasionally just take naps in the back office. And part of my duties were watering the plants and having time to do my homework. He always had the Cane Sugar Mountain Dew in a mini fridge back there for me. I know. I know. And when I went to the midnight premiere of all the Harry Potter movies that year, ‘cause I think there were two of them, I think part one and part two of the Deathly Hallows during my senior year. So, at least one of those, I had gone to the midnight premiere and barely slept and he was like, just take a nap. I hope it was great. I’m taking my daughters this weekend. Or whatever he said, I don’t know. He was really cool.
Jordan:
That’s delightful.
Lex (34:45):
Yes. So all that said, obviously I am not a zoologist. And part of that is because I genuinely do have a hard time with math. So, I was not trying hard. But even when I try hard, sometimes there’s certain math things, I’m like, what does that mean? That’s probably why I didn’t do super good at coding.
Jordan:
Coding’s hard.
Lex:
It’s so hard. I have so many friends who do it too so I’m like, oh, I have all these people who could logically, potentially teach me in a way that would make it better and I would understand it. But at what cost?
Jordan:
I respect coders so much, you can do so many amazing things. There’s so much art and potential. And the language of it is so fascinating. But it sucks when you feel like you tap into all of those things and you’re really getting it. And then you just get kneecapped by half of a set of parentheses you’ve lost somewhere and it all comes crashing down around you.
Lex:
Yeah. Or you design some really amazing, cool stuff. But it’s deemed to be too much work or whatever. And so then everyone else just kind of takes it down. I don’t know. Some people talk about that.
Jordan:
That sounds like a real bummer.
Lex (35:57):
A little Owen Wilson, my tiny little butthole.
Jordan:
You really hit the wall. Pretty hard. I was going to say it’s very [inaudible]
Lex:
So, anyways, I kind of lost the plot here, but we sure have some early indicators. This might have to be a series, it’s already so long. We’ve only talked about two things.
Jordan:
Yeah. We’ll come back to this. Maybe this will just be a recurring segment.
Lex:
Yeah. I like that idea. Hopefully y’all like that idea. If you don’t, bummer.
Jordan:
Our podcast, our rules. Sorry. Not sorry at all.
Lex:
I don’t care if you’re a guest. This is my toy and I want to play with it how I want to play with it. I was the youngest child don’t ask. I sure was. You were also sure the oldest child. I think that’s partially why we work decently well as roommates.
Jordan:
If we were two youngest children this would be-
Lex:
A hot mess.
Jordan:
Heated.
Lex:
Bad.
Jordan:
So looking back on our baby selves, looking back on them, if you can [inaudible] We have the same haircut. Now look at that. Look at that.
Lex:
Look at us. Who would have thought?
Jordan:
Not me. Well, okay. No, that actually ties in wonderfully ‘cause I was going to ask if you could beam back just a quick little message to your elementary school self right now, what would it be?
Lex:
Learn how to do breathing exercises instead of resorting to doing hits. I think managing the emotional outbursts, the emotional reaction. So, what we would think of now as RSD, right? That injunction sensitive dysphoria of lashing out when things seem emotionally or mentally dire.
Jordan:
Yeah. That’s actually really wonderful. wholesome, useful advice. I was just going to say invest in Google.
Lex:
Play stupid games, win stupid fucking prizes. Fucking think of the consequences, you little dipshit.
Jordan:
That’s another way to put it.
Lex:
I turned out okay.
Jordan:
Yeah. We’re always turning out. We’re not finalized. We got lots of time to play stupid games and win stupid prizes.
Lex:
Yeah. What about you though? Besides investing in Google?
Jordan:
I think what I would say to little 5th grade Jordan, wee, wee one, tiny little shrimp Jordan, is you’re really smart and that doesn’t make you better than anyone else or worse than anyone else. And you can be smart about whatever you want. Don’t let anyone else make you feel like it’s not cool because it is, and it matters more if you’re having fun than if anyone else thinks you’re a nerd or not.
Lex:
Hell yeah, bro. Hell yes.
Jordan (38:57):
That’s what I got.
Lex:
Love it. Love it. Love it. Wow. Well, thank you for wrapping that up on such a sweet and sincere, nice note. Really feel like that balanced out everything else.
Jordan:
We really went on a journey there.
Lex:
We really did, but we’re here now and right on the horizon, I can see a big old trampoline that’s dying to be hopped upon. And this is the part of the podcast where we talk about things that we are really fixated on, whether it be a hyperfixation in the traditional sense of the word or just something that has really caught our attention and given us a lot of dopamine, this is the Dopamine Trampoline.
Jordan:
Welcome. Jump with us.
Lex:
Yeah, take us.
Jordan:
Me first? Okay. This one’s not so much a hyperfixation this week. It’s just something that’s tickled me. Just brought me a lot of delight. I, like most people my age, don’t actually use Facebook that much, but I have to for work actually, legitimately. And when I was on Facebook for work, I stumbled across a page that’s just called Crab Rangoon Memes. And it does exactly what it says on the tin. It’s just memes about how freaking good crab rangoons are, which is correct and true and right.
Lex:
Oh, absolutely. I am a hundred percent on this hill with you. In this house we love a good crab rangoon. And honestly, even just a cream cheese rangoon. It doesn’t necessarily need to have the crab in it, for me personally.
Jordan:
I prefer the crab but a cream cheese rangoon still whips.
Lex:
Yeah. Yeah. Especially ‘cause most rangoons do have some seasonings, some vegetables.
Jordan:
Like some green onions in there. Dip it in that sauce.
Lex:
Anyway, we’re gonna do that probably after this? Or maybe later this week.
Jordan (40:54):
That’s the only downside of the Crab Rangoon Memes Facebook page, is that I have to take it in pretty small doses. Otherwise I will just go eat crab rangoons until I can’t move.
Lex:
If I followed that page and if I ever got onto Facebook ever, I’d probably go into severe debt for crab rangoons, you know.
Jordan:
Max out my credit card on crab rangoons.
Lex:
Absolutely. I would get my card declined if it meant that I might be able to get that cashier to sort of pity give me, at least, the crab rangoons. You know what I mean? Get on my hands and knees for crab rangoon. So, what’s your favorite meme though? So far?
Jordan:
Oh gosh. It’s hard to explain memes. It’s hard to describe them. I will share some to the Twitter for sure. But I think my favorite thing is the rangoon adoration culture that has sort of arisen of this, anything for the goons. That’s what they call them, the goons. You can get shirts from them that say rangoonies, like Goonies and rangoon mixed together into one word, rangoonies.
Lex:
Someone tell Sean Astin. Sorry, I’m just trying to think of his name.
Jordan (42:10):
I literally had thought like, oh, does he love crab rangoons? I didn’t know that, before I put that together. So, yeah, crab rangoon memes have just really been tickling me this week. Got to get those goons. Why don’t you tell me your DT so we can wrap this up and go get some goons.
Lex:
Yeah. So, to take a very large zag. Imagine that we were jumping up and then I did that really really mean thing where I end my jump a little early, just a little bit before y’all, so that I can super jump and bounce you all off into an emotional time. So, full disclosure, I know we’re all going through it. So if really emotionally sad music and imagery of alcoholism is not your thing. Just keep hitting that little ten second forward button for a little bit. Just ‘cause I’m here to talk about the music video for the song Beginners by a band called Slow Club, starring none other than Daniel Radcliffe.
Jordan:
What is probably his most famous role. You might have heard of him from other things like Swiss Army Man and Kill Your Darlings. What else?
Lex:
Horns. Or Equis. Whatever the hell that was.
Jordan:
Equis. That was on stage though. I think everyone heard about that happening. I think everyone heard about that show happening.
Lex:
Yeah. I mean, he’s in some other stuff too. Probably also very well known for dating someone from Flint, Michigan. She’s great. They met on Kill Your Darlings, but nothing else though. He didn’t do anything else. So, this music video came out in 2011, which is the year I graduated from high school. And that was about the year that I discovered Slow Club and this album that Beginners is on called Paradise and this is the first album I started listening to of Slow Club’s and it’s a good song and I like it a lot and I like to sing along to it. It’s actually legitimately in my top five songs of all time, personally.
Jordan:
It’s uniquely cathartic, I would say.
Lex:
There’s a great word for it. I can read just a snippet of the lyrics just really quick just to get, sort of, a feel for it. But for the context of it though, this music video is one man, and that’s Daniel Radcliffe, waking up in what appears to be a bar or a pub the morning after what looks to have been a rough night. A wild night of sorts. And Daniel Radcliffe does sure look very hungover and sad and he is greasy and gross and wearing a red floral, vaguely Hawaiian, shirt. And this music video is just Daniel Radcliffe, walking around dancing and singing, slash lip syncing the lyrics to Beginners. And truly I say this in the most respectful way possible, some of the best acting that this man has ever done was in this music video. It’s honestly, if you are looking for something really cathartic and admittedly emotional and potentially emotionally difficult, you know, but also just so cathartic and so beautiful. Not to get pretentious about it, not to get precious about it. But it’s just so good. So, I really do recommend that you watch it and I’m sure we’ll share it on different channels and whatnot.
Jordan:
I’ll make sure and post that. But yeah, no, it’s so easy to phone it in for a music video, but our man Dan, he does not do that. He’s in it. It makes me feel like I’m in it too. And it’s just a good look.
Lex:
It’s a good look. It’s a good song. And so here’s some of the lyrics that Daniel Radcliffe, very maudlin, very mopey, very sad, but in a very clear, morning after, sort of, the fog has lifted a little bit. Sort of that vibe, but the lyrics. “And in a moment it all came to this, the time it took for your muscles to grow and grip. Of all the things I’ve heard, why to have to be these words. And in a second I’ll be gone and you won’t have to think. I got enough to keep me going, keep me from the brink. As your bones grew, why did you become you? Oh, I’ve told you, oh, to be older, you know I’m right. I’m right.” Yeah. I’m going to save the most impactful lines for your own experience of the song, but I feel like that gives you at least a little bit of context of this is a song, on some level, about some kind of grief. And like I said, in my very deranged behavior, laughing earlier, we’re all really going through it. And so that’s why I wanted to bring this because it is genuinely for someone like me, who, I obviously do not delight in the pain of others. I do not delight in the suffering of others at all. But in a fictional sense, if there are people in a fictional sense that are going through something similar to what I feel I’m going through or similar in a way that I can latch onto, you know, that is just so fulfilling from an art perspective and from a viewer perspective where it’s like, okay, you are actually taking me somewhere. You’re actually transporting me a little bit. And also drew some tears from me. Interesting. So it’s very special to me. So, if you watch it or listen to it and you don’t like it, cool. You can have that. Not my experience or my life. So, that’s my Dopamine Trampoline and, Daniel Radcliffe, if for some reason you ever heard this podcast just know that I appreciate your work in the Beginner’s music video so much. And all the other stuff you’ve been into, you’re great. Keep doing what you’re doing. I’m a huge fan. I’m also from Michigan. Not in that way.
Jordan:
You’ve probably been to some of the same places. Like, welcome to Michigan.
Lex:
We both have at least some context for really not liking Tim Allen. So, anyways, thank you for doing that. And Slow Club, you too. Christmas album. Everything they do is amazing. But that whole album just still really gets me.
Jordan:
I mean, for me, Christmas TV was a formative song of high school.
Lex:
The first song I ever heard by Slow Club was Two Cousins. What a good, good, good, good, good song to play when you’re driving around smoking at four in the morning, in college. And you’re just driving around Indiana back roads because you don’t want to be where you are. So, anyways, that’s my Dopamine Trampoline. And I guess I would just sort of tie it all together and put a little bow on it and say thanks for sharing in all this with us, the funnies and the not so funnies. If you share any of these experiences, let us know. We love to hear from y’all. Sometimes people will reply to our Twitter or our Tik Toks and that’s so fun. So, we want to be friends.
Jordan:
We really, genuinely, want to hear from you. It makes our day. We appreciate y’all listening and reading and following along, partaking. I hope that you have a cathartic song to go scream-sing along with after this. For me, it will be Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes.
Lex:
I’m so glad that you’re, I mean, not that you weren’t ever into Fall Out Boy.
Jordan:
I am experiencing personal Fall Out Boy songs right now.
Lex:
Yes, yes. And, friends at home, you know, if you listen to this podcast or you follow me on literally any social media, you know how truly exciting this is for me, I’m a diehard Fall Out Boy fan. And who would have thought that Folie à Deux would be the album that really sucked you in? And I’m so happy it is, but who would have thought?
Jordan:
So, let’s go jam and eat some crab rangoons, yeah?
Lex:
Yes. Yes.
Jordan:
All right. This has been Or, Learn Parkour from Wholehearted Production Company.
Lex:
You can find us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and most other places cool people listen to podcasts.
Jordan:
Special thanks to Krizia Perito for our cover art design. You can find her at Petalhop. That’s P-E-T-A-L-H-O-P on Instagram and Twitter and Etsy.
Lex:
Yeah. And on that note, thank you to Tom Rosenthal for our intro and outro song There is a Dark Place off of the album Keep a Private Room Behind the Shop. And on that note, thank you, Slow Club for the song Beginners off of the album Paradise.
Jordan:
You can follow us on the sosh meeds. We are @OrLearnParkour on Twitter. We are @wearewpc on Instagram and wearewpc.com. We’re also on Tik Tok, if you haven’t seen. That’s @orlearnparkour as well.
Lex:
We sure are on Tik Tok. I think I responded to one of y’all, but I wasn’t logged into the OLP account. I was logged into my personal one and I realized, and I was like, well, now I just look, I dunno. I just felt like a little bit of a dumdum. So if you get a response and it’s not the official account, sorry.
Jordan:
I’ve never done that on Twitter. I’ve never responded to anyone with my personal Twitter instead of the OLP. I’m a professional social media manager.
Lex:
Yeah. So, you can find links to all those things though, in our episode description.
Jordan (52:05):
Yes, you can. If for some reason you enjoy this podcast and want to hear more, don’t forget to subscribe or follow or, you know the drill by now.
Lex:
Yeah. Yep. And you can also show support by sharing, right? Like word of mouth. Tell people about us, tell people to listen to us, threaten them if you need to. Don’t. Please don’t. Unless that’s your vibe. If it’s consensual. Interesting choices all around, but if that’s your thing, sure, okay. So, you know, you could also give us money because we do have a Ko-fi.
Jordan:
We sure do. That’s a transition.
Lex (52:44):
I’m just thinking about those goons. I’m just thinking about those rangoons.
Jordan:
I just love that you went, hey, if you’re into consensually being awful to people, give us money.
Lex:
Yeah, but not directly correlated. But that was the transition. I was just, you know, different ways to support us and trying to hit all of my outro beats that I’m supposed to hit.
Jordan:
You have the link to that, that’s in our Linktree. You know, we could have been reasonable people and recorded this once.
Lex:
I think about that every single time that we start doing it. I’m like, we should just record this once.
Jordan:
But then we would lose moments like this.
Lex:
It’s true. I’m sure everyone loves these. I don’t even have an outro question. I’m just, I’m tired and I hope you all take care of each other and yourselves. We’re doing our damnedest.
Jordan:
We are. Yeah. If you’ve listened this long and you haven’t skipped through the end credits. Thank you. We love you.
Lex:
So much. Yeah. But that’s it though. So, oh wait, sorry. What’d you say?
Jordan:
Oh, no. I was going to say my name so you could say your name and we could go eat some goons.
Lex:
Okay. Keep going. Keep going.
Jordan:
I’m Jordan
And:
And I’m Lex.
Jordan:
This has been Or, Learn Parkour. We’ll see you in two weeks.
Lex:
Yeah.