OLP 030: You Have To Drink the Bong Water – Transcript

[Intro audio: “There is a Dark Place,” by Tom Rosenthal]

Jordan (00:00:28):

Hi, I’m Jordan 


And I’m Sylvie. 


And this is Or, Learn Parkour. 


It’s a podcast about ADHD, sort of, but it is done by two people who have ADHD. Definitely. 


We have been gone from the studio for a while over the holiday break, but we came back and wouldn’t you ding dang know it, the ADHD is still here. 


Yeah. You know, have you heard of this thing? New year’s resolutions. So, I decided to resolve or resolute, resolution.


Resolutely resolve.


Resolute-to-tize, I don’t know. I don’t know what the verb of that is, but I tried to be like, okay, this year I don’t have ADHD. That’s the resolution. I don’t have it. 


That’s absolutely how that works. 


But it’s not ‘cause guess who still has ADHD. 


What? Is it you? 


Yeah. And come to find out there’s this whole thing with resolutions where people don’t ever do them. So, maybe it has something to do with that. I’ll try again next year. We’ll see. 


So if it’s like a classic resolution, you didn’t have ADHD for the first week and a half of the year. 


Well, that’s not true either. Something tells me it wasn’t the most medically or scientifically backed solution. 


Maybe not. Alas, doing a podcast. 


Yeah. Welcome to 2022. We’re still here. 


You’re still here. And we’re glad about that.


Maybe. Pour one out for the people who decided to stop listening to OLP in 2022. You’re well within your right. 


They’re not listening to this. That’s not our problem anymore. 


That’s fair. That’s fair. 


You can pour your own ones out, man. 


You know what? Yeah. I’m gonna keep my drink in the cup. 


I’m gonna keep my Miller High Life all to myself. That’s not true. It’s Dry January.


Yeah, I don’t drink. Hell yeah. 


Keep your bong water.


Keep my bong water on me. Keep that motherfucking bong water on me.


Pouring none of that out. 


I mean, you know, there’s some studies, a particular study actually, that came out recently that really makes me think that the build up of bong water resin, sort of gross shit in my lungs and esophageal passage and everything is, maybe that’s why I haven’t gotten the coves yet. 


Could be scientifically beneficial to your health. 


And before you get all party poopery and you’re like, it’s the compound in the plant, that doesn’t happen, but it goes away if you eat it [inaudible] it’s fucking funny, and you know what? Sometimes things can just be funny. Okay. Sometimes jokes can be jokes. Sometimes you don’t need to add a caveat to every single thing you say. Have you thought about the fact that that’s a very, very, very poor use of communication skills.

Jordan (00:03:22):

Especially here, this is bit city. We’re not here for science bitty.

Sylvie (00:03:29):

You know, we’re not here to give you advice. We’re not here to give you any sort of insight or actual concrete tips and tricks on how to live with mental illness or COVID it or anything. Okay. We are not experts. We are not doctors. We are not therapists. I do have a master’s degree but literally, who would know?

Jordan (00:03:49):

I do wanna give us a little bit of credit. I do wanna start 2022 with a little bit of self kindness, I have been watching the new season of Queer Eye, and say sometimes we do have tips and tricks that are useful. Sometimes our experience can help other people, but the bit always comes first.

Sylvie (00:04:09):

The bit always comes. I was like, I don’t know, yeah, self kindness, for sure. But for me, self kindness is giving myself permission to care more about whether something’s funny.

Jordan (00:04:21):

Yes. That it is very funny that they were like, yeah, smoke weed every day, don’t get COVID. That’s bonkers.

Sylvie (00:04:30):

I know that’s absolutely what the study said and if you try to cite the source on that, go fuck yourself.

Jordan (00:04:37):

Oh my god, Sylvie. Did you even read this paper? That’s not what it says at all. It goes away if you smoke it. You have to drink the bong water.

Sylvie (00:04:42):

Okay. Seriously, things can just be funny. Jokes are a thing. I’m begging. Okay, and granted, I don’t mean that to be ableist in the sense of sometimes it can be hard to tell if someone’s joking. Right? It can be hard to tell. Depending on what you’ve got going on in your brain and how you interact with the society around you, and no judgment whatsoever, but if you come into this sphere of Or, Learn Parkour expecting anything other than just pure idiocy, I don’t know what to tell you. Go find some other girl boss podcast to give you tips on how to live. We’re just here to be hashtag relatable. Sorry. Hashtag relatable. I did a little gesture.

Jordan (00:05:29):

They did the gesture. Yeah. The pound sign gesture.

Sylvie (00:05:33):

Which definitely made a little bit of a- like that.

Jordan (00:05:34):

Gesturing is happening.

Sylvie (00:05:42):

So, anyways, this is a podcast where we sometimes talk about ADHD things, usually a 30 to 70 ratio.

Jordan (00:05:48):

And the 70% is just us kind of taking the piss out of each other.

Sylvie (00:05:51):

Yeah. So, I guess that’s our real start to 2022.

Jordan (00:05:56):

Staying on brand. Yeah.

Sylvie (00:05:57):

Yeah. So this week though, we are gonna get a little angry. We are gonna get a little fired up. Which is probably also really relatable right now. Judging by what I see on the internet every day, being angry is par for the course.

Jordan (00:06:11):

Yeah. If you need to pause this podcast or minimize the transcript, if you’re reading along or whatever you need to do and go scream into a pillow for a second.

Sylvie (00:06:22):

Yeah. Maybe do some deep breathing.

Jordan (00:06:23):

Yeah. I like to hit my bed with a bat when I’m mad. Maybe go break some sticks.

Sylvie (00:06:29):

We went ax throwing once. 


Oh, that was sick. 


That was during a calm period, to clarify. We didn’t go ax throwing last week or anything. Don’t worry. We have been locked in our house since the holidays so, yeah. But hey, guess what, you know that if you have ADHD, or this isn’t just ADHD, life costs money. It shouldn’t, is what I’ll say. My opinion, it shouldn’t. But it does and when you have ADHD there are some hidden costs.

Jordan (00:07:00):

And some people call that the ADHD tax. I’m sorry, I derailed you didn’t I?

Sylvie (00:07:06):

No, I derailed, I knew what I was gonna say when I said yeah and, and it literally just poofed. Just went away.

Jordan (00:07:13):

I’m so sorry. 


I took my Adderall today. I don’t know. I did take a nap though. So maybe it kind of went through my system.

Jordan (00:07:20):

You just napped it out. Oftentimes napping it out is a good thing. But in this case, maybe, it’s still a good thing. We’re getting a very truthful experience right now.

Sylvie (00:07:29):

Oh yeah. No. I mean, is this podcast edited for clarity? Yes.

Jordan (00:07:35):

You might be surprised to learn. Yes.

Sylvie (00:07:40):

You would be, yeah.

Jordan (00:07:42):

Oh, there’s that bong resin coming back for round two.

Sylvie (00:07:45):

I’m on a very serious coughing regimen to make sure that the bong resin stays coated in my esophagus. This is such good audio. Wow.

Jordan (00:08:00):

That was terrible. It hurt my body to do.

Sylvie (00:08:04):

Where’s our awards? Where’s our accolades? Okay. Actually though, I’m just waiting for our podcast to get big enough to attract trolls and discourse. I’m just waiting. I am ready. In my notes app I have a whole note just dedicated to zingers.

Jordan (00:08:20):

Oh good. I’m glad.

Sylvie (00:08:22):

Is the top one as an idea sort of response to someone being shitty on Twitter to us? It is the top one, the top option.

Jordan (00:08:31):

What is it? Hold on. Let’s set the scene here.

Sylvie (00:08:35):

I’m gonna get into improv mode. Sorry. My body just sort of physically repulsed when I said that.

Jordan (00:08:41):

I did appreciate the other day, one of my coworkers and I got to chatting and we’re talking about college and I had mentioned that I was a theater person, and completely wholeheartedly, completely honestly, she goes, oh my gosh, that’s amazing, that is so cool. Do you do stuff around here? If you are ever in a show around here, please let me know. I’d love to come see it. Unless it’s improv. She knew nothing about me and said that straight to my face and I respect it so much.

Sylvie (00:09:08):

Yeah. No, that coworker can stay for sure.

Jordan (00:09:11):

Yep. She can stay.


They get it

Jordan (00:09:15):

Anyway, so.

Sylvie (00:09:17):

All right. Scene setting. Yes.

Jordan (00:09:19):

Yes. I’m going to troll you. I’m gonna troll. Are you ready? I’m gonna troll you and then you can zing it back at me.

Sylvie (00:09:27):

No, I’m trying to get into my girl boss, gatekeep, gaslight sort of mentality here.

Jordan (00:09:35):

Or yes. Connect to your inner truth and then just think back on a time that you’ve been girl-bossed and just really connect to those given circumstances.

Sylvie (00:09:46):

You can probably tell my aura is glistening.

Jordan (00:09:49):

It is. Choice. All right. And so I’m gonna be mean to you.

Sylvie (00:09:56):

Okay. I will accept that meanness and I will yes, and.


Amazing. I’m famously good at being mean. So, do brace yourself.

Sylvie (00:10:04):

Yeah, you’re famous for being mean, for sure. Especially between the two of us, I’m definitely the nice sweet one.

Jordan (00:10:12):

I’m such a bitch.

Sylvie (00:10:16):

Okay. Sorry. I lost it. I lost it. Okay.

Jordan (00:10:19):

Be professional. Get back into it.

Sylvie (00:10:22):

I would like to say that it is kind of a point of pride for me that it is so hard to actually keep a girl boss sort of persona going.

Jordan (00:10:27):

Yeah. No, that is a point for you generally.

Sylvie (00:10:35):

Okay. What team? 




What team? 




Get in the game!


Great audio. 


Sorry, I kind of just blacked out for a second, what? I just kind of blacked out for a second. I don’t really know what happened there.

Jordan (00:10:51):

We were gonna do a scene and then something. Let’s just do the scene. I don’t know. That was weird. 


Yeah. No, I don’t know what happened next. 


Okay. So, I’m gonna say something mean to you and then you’re gonna girl boss me into next week. You ready?

Sylvie (00:11:05):

Yeah. Wait. And so, everyone imagine that this is on Twitter, where most people try to be mean.

Jordan (00:11:12):

Okay. Your podcast is not good.

Sylvie (00:11:16):

Thanks. I can’t read. I’m sorry, there was more, I cut you off.

Jordan (00:11:20):

No, that was it. That was for the best. I will say it loses a little bit of the fire behind it in an audio medium.

Sylvie (00:11:28):

That’s what I would say. That’s why I was like, imagine this is on Twitter. Here’s the thing. If someone were to say something to me, face to face, I wouldn’t have to girl boss or gatekeep or gaslight them. I would just punch them in the fucking nuts. 


Hoof ‘em.

Sylvie (00:11:41):

Just hoof ‘em.


Hoof ‘em good. Hoof those nuts.

Sylvie (00:11:49):

Yeah. Well, thanks everyone. That was our very, very professional improvisational theater scene. Let’s all go to the lobby. Let’s all go to the lobby. Let’s all go.

Jordan (00:12:03):

This is our podcast intermission. We will proceed with the content in act two. And I’ll put some elevator music here.

Sylvie (00:12:08):

I mean, we have license to most of Tom Rosenthal’s music, right? ‘Cause we got a thing? So, we just start playing Bootylicious. Oh yeah, if y’all haven’t taken the time to go listen to Tom Rosenthal, the artist who does our intro and outro song, first of all, bad choice on your part, bad call, go listen to him right now, please. 


He’s a good guy, we like Tom Rosenthal. 


We love Tom Rosenthal. Not in a weird way though. We haven’t ever met him.

Jordan (00:12:38):

Yeah. We respect Tom Rosenthal’s art very deeply and our interactions with him have been very kind.

Sylvie (00:12:44):

Yes. Great.

Jordan (00:12:45):

Yeah. Thank you, Mr. Rosenthal. Hope you have a nice day. If not, that’s also okay. You can do whatever you want with your life.

Sylvie (00:12:51):

If you wanna have a bad day, you are absolutely, yeah. You had a bad day, hey, come on down, you sing a sad song just to turn it around. I’m vocally trained. Yikes. But actually Tom Rosenthal did a cover of Bootylicious. 


Oh, it’s very good.


And it’s so good. I say that like it’s news. This cover’s been out for years. I would recommend watching the music video as well if you are able. It’s on YouTube. One day I hope that our podcast gets big enough that people listen back to this episode and Tom Rosenthal just keeps getting a weird spike in views on that video.

Jordan (00:13:34):

It’s a win for everyone involved. ‘Cause, glad to bring attention to his work, but also glad for everybody who gets to watch that video. 


It’s so good. Mr. Rosenthal, if you ever do listen to our podcast, sorry. That’s part one, sorry. Part two. I could listen to you sing, but my body is too bootylicious for you, babe. I could listen to your weird little Muppet voice sing. No, in a nice way. Sometimes he just has that British affectation that they sound like. No, you know when you listen to Mumford and Sons and they’re singing like, ahhhh.


I’m gonna piss myself. 


Please don’t. We have a bathroom 20 feet from us. Go. Go piss, girl. Okay. Okay. Sorry. We do have an episode for you this week.

Jordan (00:14:37):

Oh, yeah, no, this episode did have a topic.

Sylvie (00:14:41):

ADHD tax. We even asked you all on Twitter to give us some-

Jordan (00:14:48):

What you experienced of the ADHD tax, your insight there. And we appreciate you guys who responded. We got some really great answers.

Sylvie (00:14:57):

Yeah, thank you so much. I love that we get to talk about it now.

Jordan (00:15:00):

Yeah. We should probably do that now.

Sylvie (00:15:02):

Yeah, no. So weird to just like all of your responses to the tweets and then not be able to say anything ‘cause we were like, well we’re gonna talk about it on the podcast so we shouldn’t reply, right? Right? I don’t know. If you were sad that we didn’t respond to you, I’m so sorry.

Jordan (00:15:19):

We love you very much.

Sylvie (00:15:22):

We love you so much. Not in a weird way though. ‘Cause we’ve never met.

Jordan (00:15:25):

We respect you, for those of you we’ve interacted with. We’ve had very kind interactions.

Sylvie (00:15:30):

Yeah. You know? Okay, so constantly, just really trying to be relatable, but not build up parasocial relationships that are unhealthy, you know? Love you, mwah.

Jordan (00:15:43):

Wait, okay. Hold on. Should we talk about what the ADHD tax is first?

Sylvie (00:15:46):

Yes. Let’s talk about what it is and then we’ll get to the discussion. Ouais. We’re closer to Canada.

Jordan (00:15:54):

That’s true. Also, apparently, at least what I learned in French class, people in France still say ouais. It just means yeah. Instead of yes. Like, ouais.

Sylvie (00:16:02):


Jordan (00:16:04):

Okay. I don’t know. I took three years of French and then promptly forgot at all. So yeah. For those of you who know more than me, let us know.

Sylvie (00:16:13):

Yeah. I took two years of French and two years of Spanish. So I also know nothing.

Jordan (00:16:18):

Anyway, so, the ADHD tax is when it costs money because you have ADHD. Extra money.

Sylvie (00:16:26):

Yeah. And that doesn’t just mean cost of meds. It’s not specifically, usually ADHD tax is in reference to money that you have to pay as a result of symptoms of your ADHD that are unexpected.

Jordan (00:16:43):

It can also involve the costs of medication and stuff, because I can get into the studies later, but that’s expensive and it’s more money than someone who doesn’t have ADHD would have to pay. And there’s also job related things where if your ADHD affects your job and you earn less. Overall, people with ADHD do earn less money than they’re equally qualified peers because of those kind of things. So that’s also part of it. But yeah, generally, and in a more practical way, I think of the things that you fix more easily, I guess like what you were saying is the things that you have to spend money on because of how you’ve-

Sylvie (00:17:21):

Here’s the way I’ve been sort of viewing it and understanding it is that meds wouldn’t be included in the ADHD tax because that’s just an ADHD cost. That’s just sort of the basic like, oh, you have ADHD. So there is a cost of medication like there is with any sort of medical treatment, it costs money ‘cause we do live in the United States. So it’ll cost some money. Too much money.

Jordan (00:17:45):

Yeah. Like today, I just paid $40 to schedule an appointment for somebody to tell me what I know, which is that my meds are working and I should be allowed to have more of them. I have an insurance, so that’s a better deal than it could be, but I still paid $40 to take the time out of my day for somebody to say- 


Yeah, you still need ’em. 


You still have ADHD. Anyways.

Sylvie (00:18:10):

Famous short term mental illness.

Jordan (00:18:12):

You know, how mental illnesses usually work. But yeah. So, do we wanna give some examples?

Sylvie (00:18:21):

Yeah. So, I was gonna say what I personally understand to be ADHD tax are things that, like we said, are things that you don’t foresee having to pay for. I see everything being an ADHD tax, like how things are like the quote, unquote pink tax or the fat tax, where you’re just existing as a part of a group that you’ve been assigned because of the way that you look or were raised or whatever, or your brain works or, you know, how society does to all us. So that makes sense too. And considering that the ADHD tax. But I think for our purposes in this episode specifically, if that’s fair to say, we’re talking more about the hidden costs of ADHD. And a lot of people gave examples of their own that were less monetary cost and more like mental, emotional health cost. Which is, I think, so fucking valid.

Jordan (00:19:11):

Yeah. And there’s overlap too there, I think. If you’re spending more energy and time than otherwise, then you’re gonna have to make up for that somewhere else.

Sylvie (00:19:21):

Yeah, because we live in a stupid society. But some examples. A great one is a personal anecdote from the past month or so, where I lost my car key. And you may be wondering, do you mean your keys, Sylvie? You lost your keys? No. I had my keys. I knew exactly where those were. They were on the hook where they always are. Went down to get in my car, pulled my keys out and realized that the car key is not on my key ring. And so it turns out I have lost my key and I can’t drive to work. So it was a very expensive week because I had to, at least that first day, grab a rideshare to work, which costs way more than public transport. But if I took public transport, I would be an hour late because I didn’t plan to take public transport ‘cause I thought I had my keys. Well, I did have my keys, I just didn’t have my fucking car key. So, you know, and then I had to go through the whole mental breakdown of like, how the fuck did I just lose my car key? And Jordan did watch as I literally turned over every single fucking thing in my room trying to find this key, turned over everything in the common areas of our house, trying to find this key. This key was nowhere. It was in the wind. I checked the garage, I checked our yard. I checked the sidewalk from the garage to the house. I checked everywhere.

Jordan (00:20:41):

Yeah, that shit was in a different dimension.

Sylvie (00:20:42):

Literally. It was in a different dimension. And so I had to get a new key for my car because, wouldn’t you believe it, I’ve lost my car keys before so I was already on my second key. I think, I’m assuming, ‘cause my parents didn’t have the second set. So I think I did just have to, yeah. Anyways, I don’t remember. I’ve had my car for a while. But, had to go through the whole process of paying for a rideshare to work and then paying for public transport, which is cheap in Chicago, thankfully. So that wasn’t too bad. But taking out a ton of time in my day because it’s an hour to an hour and a half commute because my office is only a 25 minute drive from here. But if you’re from Chicago, you know that getting from the north side to the west side is apparently just impossible if you don’t have a car. So that was frustrating to say the least. And then I had to get a new key made and then the person came and reset my key. ‘Cause I have the key fob thing to unlock it. So they had to basically attune it to my car, like some sort of fancy D&D weapon. I was like, Jesus Christ. It took an hour and this guy was very nice. He was very, very kind. And he was super understanding and he threw in an extra key that didn’t have any of the buttons on it, but would still unlock my car so that if I lock my keys in my car, I at least have a second thing to unlock my car. And he threw that in for free, but the whole process still cost $400. 




So, I don’t make very much money. So that’s a quarter of my paycheck, essentially, for the month, just for a new car key. So, things like that would be, I think, considered ADHD tax. The key did show up eventually in the bathroom trash can, which is a little step on it, lid thing. So, how? How?

Jordan (00:22:39):

I don’t know. I don’t understand. I mean, I do wanna give you a little bit of credit. That is ADHD tax. There’s a lot of factors involved there. But that key was just a little shit.

Sylvie (00:22:50):

That key just left. That key ran away. So, at least now I have three keys for my car. 


There you go. 


So, great. But also, there’s a classic example, having to replace your keys when you lose them.

Jordan (00:23:05):

Yeah. Just lost money you weren’t expecting to. And the time you weren’t expecting to. I did, not the same thing, ‘cause I don’t have a car, but three weeks ago I had an appointment scheduled at a doctor’s office on the left side, which is famously difficult to get to, but it was who took my insurance. I was gonna take the bus down there. Lost track of time, ended up having to call a rideshare, got down there, realized that I miswrote the appointment time. So the office was closed and I could not even go to my appointment. And then when I was trying to catch the bus back, my phone died and my Ventra card, to pay for transit, is on my phone. So that was 30 bucks for a ride share. Plus having to go to Walgreens and buy a portable charger and a new cord. So another 30 bucks and then another, I was just exhausted at that point, so I just called another ride home instead of taking the bus for an hour and a half.

Sylvie (00:24:03):

Yeah. Which is so valid. But again-

Jordan (00:24:05):

Not money I was expecting to spend.

Sylvie (00:24:08):

No. And you know, we are okay. We are able to pay our rent and get food and provide for our cats. I won’t say that we’re horribly off. ‘Cause there are a lot of people who are and, you know, that sucks big time. But I recognize that, you know, if anything bad were to happen to either one of us we are able to take care of one another. So I recognize that we do have it better than a lot of people. But we’re still not doing good.

Jordan (00:24:41):

Not rolling in it by any means.

Lex (00:24:44):

No. And so when those costs happen it’s devastating. It’s truly, not just a day ruiner, but a week or month ruiner. Because money is apparently the only thing that fucking matters to our society. And it is the easiest thing to burn, especially when you have ADHD. Some less high-stake sort of examples, ‘cause if that stressed you out, I’m sorry. We try to keep this podcast, not low stress, but-


Lower stress. 


Yeah. Not heavy. We try to avoid that most of the time. Most of the time.

Jordan (00:25:19):

But sometimes it’s frustrating and you just wanna be angry about it ‘cause it sucks.

Sylvie (00:25:23):

Sometimes it just sucks. Sometimes it’s just bad, but some tamer examples would be having wasted a lot of money on produce that you forget about ‘cause you put it in the crisper drawer and you can’t see it. So your brain just kinda is like, it doesn’t exist.

Jordan (00:25:39):

I have the experience all the time of, I’ll buy food ‘cause I know I need to eat and then will not be able to eat it because Adderall.

Sylvie (00:25:47):

Yeah. Or you’re like me and sometimes you’re like, you know what, I’ll get some food and then you get all your groceries and you’re like, all of this sounds absolutely disgusting and horrifying and I don’t want any of it near my mouth. And so you order takeout instead, which I think that’s less ADHD and more just a human thing. I could be wrong. If that is ADHD, okay. But there are a lot of things that are just, you know, being a human.

Jordan (00:26:11):

Forgetting to cancel subscriptions.

Sylvie (00:26:14):

Yeah. Oh god. That’s a big one.

Jordan (00:26:18):

Yeah. I feel like I end up buying just a lot of odds and ends that I forget that I already have.

Sylvie (00:26:25):

I think some people gave this example on Twitter too, but all the money that we spend on things to make or put together, the project money. Or you order something based on a very specific and niche hyperfixation that you’re deep in one week and then it arrives the next week and you’re like, what? I’m not even into this hobby anymore. 

Jordan (00:26:51):

Yeah. I think that was Cal. Yeah.

Sylvie (00:26:54):

So, I feel like we’ve kind of, at least for the purposes of this episode, gotten a base level of that’s what ADHD tax is. 


I hope so. 


I mean, well, okay, again, from our limited view and limited expertise. But we’re here to be-


Hashtag relatable, right? 


Yeah. Hashtag relatable.

Jordan (00:27:14):

There’s that gesturing noise again.

Sylvie (00:27:16):

So, on that note.

Jordan (00:27:18):

On that note, Cal, I felt called out by everything you posted as somebody who just bought a countertop dishwasher. And then bought a new faucet because I didn’t check to see if it would connect to our faucet ‘cause I got so excited.

Sylvie (00:27:36):

Which, to be fair, the idea of not having to do the dishes, euphoric.

Jordan (00:27:39):

Yeah. And the fact that there is a connector for every single type of faucet that came with this, but our landlord is so cheap that the aerator that you’re supposed to be able to remove and replace with the plugin is just glued into the faucet head. It’s fine. Also definitely read your tweet, Cal, about working off the clock to make up for time you were distracted during the day, while I was working off the clock to make up for time I was distracted during the day.

Sylvie (00:28:09):

Yeah. Let’s just let them speak for themselves. Yeah. Okay. 


Yeah. Let it rip.


How does that feel? Okay. So, Cal, we’ll start with you since we’re, you know, yelling at you currently for just these severely targeted attacks. But @Cal_Pal says “the amount of times I’ve worked off the clock to make up for time I was distracted during the day or worked off the clock to finish a project in an impressive amount of time so I don’t look like I have ADHD”. Yeah, yeah. The real one that got me was the putting in a lot of effort to a project when no one else is watching because I’m like, this is taking me so fucking long and everyone else is already done and theirs all look really cool. And so I need to work extra hard to make sure that mine is even on par with everyone else.

Jordan (00:28:55):

I need to justify the extra time that I took. I need to use my time like a neurotypical.

Sylvie (00:29:01):

Oh yes. Okay. Cal also said “this one isn’t so serious, but the amount of times I’ve bought the supplies for a project or hobby, but never actually gotten around to doing the project”. Ow.

Jordan (00:29:11):

Also, I do wanna say on that note, there is, we’re not affiliated with or sponsored by this group, but they’re very cool and very helpful, there is a Facebook group online, if you’re on Facebook, that’s specifically like an ADHD craft exchange for people with ADHD who buy craft supplies that they’re not gonna use anymore. And you can trade them with other people who have done the same thing. So we’ll put a link to that.

Sylvie (00:29:38):

Doing, dare I say, the Lord’s work.

Jordan (00:29:40):

Amen. Yeah. So we’ll share a link to that, if you, like us, are very much in the same boat. 

Sylvie (00:29:45):

Cal also talks about getting a countertop dishwasher because hand washing dishes is hard, you did touch on that. 


Hand washing dishes sucks. 


It just makes your hands dry. It just makes your hands so dry. Mattie, friend of the family.

Jordan (00:30:03):

Pretty much, yeah.

Sylvie (00:30:04):

Yeah. Not in a weird way, but I love you, Mattie.

Jordan (00:30:08):

We respect you and our interactions with you have been pleasant.

Sylvie (00:30:12):

That’s such a good way to, just one of us hits in with the I love you. And then the other one sort of is like, but to clarify, not really, not like that. I don’t know. One of my friends in college used to call me an I love you slut.


Oh my god. 


Well, ‘cause I say it to everybody all the time. I don’t know.

Jordan (00:30:32):

I don’t think that’s a bad thing. 


I don’t either.


I realize the need to clarify for internet purposes, but, Mattie, we love you.

Sylvie (00:30:40):

Yeah. I literally play D&D on Zoom, every other week with some friends and at the end of it, I’m always like, okay, love you, bye and then I hang up and everyone’s just like, bye, Sylvie. And I’m like, I do though. I just have a lot of love in my heart.

Jordan (00:30:54):

Well, if they don’t love you back they’re stupid. 


Well, they do. To clarify, I think a lot of those people also listen to the podcast and I know that you love me back, but I also am sorry if I put you on the spot or make you feel uncomfortable by how often I say I love you ‘cause, you know, it’s fair. Not everyone grows up saying that. Yeah. ‘Cause I know for some people that is such a weighted term, not just for internet purposes. And for that, sorry. But I do think my whole vibe is a little camp counselor-y in the sense of, I’m just gonna say really positive, aggressively loving shit and just accept it. It’s fine. So, Mattie, that’s @mattie24601, didn’t ever notice the number there. It’s good. Sorry. I said it out loud and I was like, why does that sound [inaudible]

Jordan (00:31:43):


Sylvie (00:31:47):

I try so hard to hide it. I try so hard to hide the fact that I am still technically a theater kid, you know. I didn’t get a BFA, but ouch. So, Mattie said “I’ve gotten so many parking tickets at school because I forgot to get my parking pass before the cutoff. In all four years of going to college I think I’ve gotten eight. And the only reason it’s that low is because my last two years haven’t required parking passes due to COVID”. Yeah. We both had cars in college.

Jordan (00:32:16):

Yeah, I don’t know how there is not a municipal building in Moscow dedicated to me for how much I single handedly funded the city budget through Jackson Street Parking Lot tickets. I had to work there.

Sylvie (00:32:33):

Yeah. I remember when I went to Taylor, the amount of times that I would park on the loop, just on the side of the little loop road that goes around campus ‘cause I would be like, oh yeah, I’m just gonna do something and then come right back to my car and then I’ll go park in one of the parking lots. The amount of times that I would just forget. And as my car would be just out parked on the curb and then I’d wake up and be like, oh shit, my car’s parked on the curb and then I’d go and I’d be like, how did campus security get, it’s 8:00 AM on a Saturday morning. How are you ready? How did you know? Which, granted, I guess they’re like, yeah, look at these idiots. Parking their cars on a Friday night, all wrong.

Jordan (00:33:09):

I definitely forgot that I drove to school at all some days, ‘cause I lived close enough to walk, but if I was in a rush or had a bunch of stuff to carry or was tired, like I often was, I would drive, but sometimes I would walk or I would park my car on campus and then have to walk to work or walk to the grocery store or something afterwards. And it was definitely faster to walk to the grocery store than walk to my car and then drive to the grocery store. And then I’d just be like, yeah, well it’s an easy walk home from Main Street. And I’d just forget that my car was on campus until I got home. It’s fun. It’s great. It’s a great way to end a very long day. We’ve got some other tweets, some great responses. We’ve got a tweet from Lesbo Baggins @xapismarie.

Sylvie (00:33:59):

Yeah. I mean I’ll be honest, Caris, this is my friend Caris from college, I don’t know how to pronounce your handle. So, I did tell Jordan, I was like, I always say Zapis Marie in my head, but it is X-A-P-I-S Marie. Also though, Lesbo Baggins, what a good name.

Jordan (00:34:15):

It delights me every time I see it in our Twitter notifications. Just so you know, Caris. But Caris said “the fact that people have resources for people with ADHD, but they’re behind a paywall or the things that tend to help outside of meds are costly. Why can’t I get a prescription for tools I need that help me be productive”. That’s a great fucking question.

Sylvie (00:34:39):

That’s such a good question, Lesbo Baggins. Good question.

Jordan (00:34:43):

And that might be a full nother episode at some point. No promises. But that is a thing, those things being costly.

Sylvie (00:34:53):

I say no promises ‘cause we might forget.

Jordan (00:34:55):

We may. We very well may forget, but it would be a good episode if we did it. Anyways. Yeah. Tools for ADHD are expensive and they’re just as necessary as medication, but the healthcare system in this country sucks so much butts.

Sylvie (00:35:13):

Yeah. Well, and it’s like one of those things where even when you were talking about how you have to have an appointment for each fucking Adderall refill because it’s a controlled substance and you have to pay each time. You have to pay to be able to pay for meds and get them. There’s literally just so many fucking steps. Just give me the stinky little drug that makes my stinky little brain go faster, go clearer.


Go at all. 


Yeah. Clearly you can tell by the way that I just said words, mine is very much wearing off.

Jordan (00:35:52):

I will find who said this ‘cause I can’t remember their name at this point, but somebody on Twitter, I read this two days ago, said whoever designed ADHD accommodations, it’s like they learned the symptoms of ADHD and made a very targeted obstacle course. And I felt that deep in my soul.

Sylvie (00:36:14):

Yeah. Even more reason for actually neurodivergent people to work on how best to help neurodivergent people, sure would be nice. That’d be nice. It would be fucking nice. Might be nice. I think we got one more here.

Jordan (00:36:30):

Yeah. We Have a tweet from another wonderful person. Ben has ADHD.

Sylvie (00:36:35):

Again with the name. Love it. Clear, concise, to the point. We know what you’re about.

Jordan (00:36:40):

The branding Is on point @adhd_ben, love it. Consistency. The SEO is strong.

Sylvie (00:36:48):

That’s a compliment. It sounded kind of shithead-y marketing. 


I’m shithead-y marketing.


But in Jordan’s defense, they’re for work. I say that with so much love. And a hundred percent, I used to do marketing.

Jordan (00:37:03):

I do appreciate that at the very least SEO isn’t telling people to buy things. It’s kind of targeting people who are already trying to buy things. So I feel not shady about it.

Sylvie (00:37:12):

Or less shady about it.

Jordan (00:37:13):

Yeah. But Ben has ADHD shared “the cost of paying for mail forwarding after moving. Because I keep forgetting/postponing changing my address for all important stuff”.

Sylvie (00:37:26):

Yeah. Similar vein. I went to pay for gas and I used a card that I don’t use very often, in my defense, but I used a card that I haven’t used very often and I’ve lived in Chicago for three years now and it was like, enter the zip code. And so I put in my Chicago zip code and it’s like, error, wrong zip code. And I had never changed my bank account zip code, I have two cards through this bank. The zip code was still my zip code from Idaho. And this was a couple weeks ago and I was like, oops.

Jordan (00:38:01):

I haven’t done that one quite as much. ‘Cause I feel like that’s at least a little bit in sort of the exciting tasks of moving of, I’m setting up all my stuff. Not exciting that I love calling banks exciting.

Sylvie (00:38:14):

Moving to a new place. Okay. I was like, okay. Yeah. For the spirit of the podcast, like hell yeah, bro, I’m on board. I’m with you. But internally I was like, what are you talking about? What do you mean? That’s fair. Stop this.

Jordan (00:38:26):

If you didn’t know, nobody else could have. If you know what I mean there’s a 50% chance that anyone else would know what I mean. So if you didn’t I’d be screwed, just screwed. 


So valid, bestie. 


Thanks, bestie. But anyways, I haven’t had that specific problem as much, but the number of times I have accidentally shipped something to the wrong address because I have multiple addresses in my Apple Pay or account for X, Y, Z website. And I’m just reading too fast. I definitely shipped all of my skincare that I just purchased to my office two weeks ago.

Sylvie (00:39:05):

Ah, yeah. That was so recent. So, you see the amount of unnecessary money, time, energy, tears. So much, literally Jordan walked over, saw me just sobbing, trying to find my fucking car key. And in my defense $400 is so much money.

Jordan (00:39:26):

That’s a lot of fucking money.

Sylvie (00:39:28):

That’s so much money. Like, oh my god, this isn’t even to say the cost of the guilt and shame. 


It doesn’t feel good. 


Of having to deal with the ADHD tax because the way that our society works is you have to spend money to live. But if you’re not spending your money, quote unquote, the right way then you deserve to fucking die and it’s like, great, I’m doing so well. And I’m absolutely not just hanging on by a couple threads. Okay.

Jordan (00:39:57):

It’s so frustrating, especially when you have to do all of the extra work of rebudgeting and realizing the things that you’re gonna miss out on because you don’t have that money or that time, but if it’s been a long time and you haven’t had to do something like that in a while, you’re like, shit, I was doing so good and I fucked up. That doesn’t feel good.

Sylvie (00:40:15):

Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with unexpected costs of ADHD, by the way, if we didn’t say that earlier, thank you. 


We appreciates you.


We appreciates you so much, but also just a blanket sort of I’m so sorry if you aren’t someone who responded to the tweet and you are thinking of your own instances of like-


Yeah, I do that. 


Yeah, I do that, but crying, I’m so sorry. It just sucks. Society, as it’s built currently, is not for us. And it should be, it should be. We’re humans. I mean, you think about how, this is just specific to ADHD, there are so many things that people who are neurodivergent and disabled have to pay for.

Jordan (00:41:02):

To just be alive.

Sylvie (00:41:03):

Just to exist. And, you know, again, trying not to get too heavy, and I’m sure that you’re all alive, if you’re listening to this you’re alive. So you know what the news is like right now. And you know, the rhetoric that has always been around, but is very front and center currently, about, you know, how society still views anybody who’s disabled. So we wanted to do this episode, it’s topical, but, you know, we make jokes and stuff, but truly you don’t deserve this. Life could be so much better. If you’re an optimist, life can be so much better and there are ways to sort of mitigate, help yourself, stay away from these costs. If you’re like me, the shame that you feel of doing something so horrible usually is enough to at least last a couple years. But that’s not a fun or happy way to go about living. So there are some more practical, quote unquote, tips. Again, we’re not experts, but we did find some things that cool people on the internet have shared. 


Yeah. We’re crowdsourcing here.


And sort of trying to compile a list of things that might help sort of mitigate those hidden costs, if not just to make it just a little bit easier to live in this hellscape that we are living in currently. All the same, I’m sorry. None of us deserve this. And it just sucks. It just sucks real bad. So, on that super happy note.


What are your tips?

Sylvie (00:42:30):

I don’t know why, I just immediately went to like, well, I got some brisket tips cooking in the oven.


You got brisket? Let’s end this podcast right now. 


No, I don’t. I’m sorry. I did cook up the rest of the meatballs for the spaghetti though. So we got that.


ADHD tax tips.


ADHD tax tips. I say we compiled a list. We have a handful of things that we’re gonna throw at you.


Keep it bite size. 


Just see if it sticks. Again, first and foremost, it’s about the bit. Love you all. Sorry we’re going through it. We don’t have anything helpful to say, but yeah. So, you know, take these all with a grain of salt. These are just things that have either helped us or are things that we think hopefully will help us in the future. ‘Cause while doing research for this episode I feel like we both saw some things, we were like, okay. All right. 


Yeah. Give it a go.


So, my number one thing is tough if you don’t have friends. If you don’t have someone who you’re close to who can help you with your finances. And by that I mean find someone who you are comfortable enough with to look at your finances and help you sort through those if you need to. Because I have a very dear friend who helped me go through and look at how much I was spending on subscriptions and how to schedule out my payments in a way that’s sustainable and matches up with a paycheck schedule and kind of helps to mitigate the like, shit, I forgot that my Netflix payment was gonna hit on the 12th and now I’m overdrawn ‘cause I didn’t plan for that $13.99 to be in my budget for that week before I get paid. So, that’d be my tip. My number one tip is to find somebody who can, if you’re into Google docs, Google sheets, I don’t know, have someone help you make a budget in a spreadsheet. Someone who is going to be kind and objective but also not shame you. ‘Cause I know that that’s, at least for me, a big fear with other people seeing my finances, is that innate sort of I’m not necessarily bad at spending money, my brain just forgets about costs. So I end up being bad with money. And so it’s embarrassing and very big shame, guilt feelings, right, of needing to have someone help you with that. But if you have someone that you trust who is going to be kind and helpful in that situation, that’s my number one tip. It’s okay to ask for help, I think, in the situation. ‘Cause, at least for me, I’m not super great at math. I’m not good at understanding and guesstimating numbers and budgeting so I just asked a lovely dear friend to help me with it.

Jordan (00:45:19):

Well, accountability, across the board, is a good ADHD tool. It’s like a body double. So, I’m sure that you could apply that to, you know, if your problem is that you have a hard time remembering when those costs come up or if your problem is that you have a hard time remembering you have food in the fridge, get someone who’s good at meal prep to come look at your process and show you how to make it a little bit easier or get somebody who is good at sewing to come help you finish all of those projects that have been sitting in the corner, you know, make a craft day of it. Just get a body in there to bring some expertise and bring some accountability. That’s a great idea. That seems like it would have a lot of applications.

Sylvie (00:46:01):

Yeah. I will say the word accountability is one of my least favorite things. 


Okay. Duly noted. 


Well, no, just in the sense of, and this is completely my own baggage with growing up in a Christian environment, accountability is usually just a way to control people. So, accountability in a space of grace and kindness. Awesome. So, just wanna clarify, that’s what we’re talking about when we say accountability here. Because that can be a very loaded term of what it means to hold someone accountable.

Jordan (00:46:33):

Yeah, that’s super fair. That’s a super fair caveat. I guess I mean more like support.

Sylvie (00:46:37):

Yeah, no, that clarification was, yes, you’re so correct. But for the people like me, especially ‘cause I know some of y’all Taylor university people listen to this podcast. So I know that you probably have some similar experiences to me with that word.

Jordan (00:46:52):

That’s super fair. Thank you very much for clarifying that because I don’t want people to think that I’m gonna be like, you need to send me your internet history so I can shame you about it, accountability. No shame allowed here. 


Hopefully our brand is clear enough that no one took it that way. I didn’t take it that way. It was just my own sort of like [inaudible]

Jordan (00:47:17):

So valid.

Sylvie (00:47:18):

Someone’s like, yeah, we need to start an accountability circle and I’m like, guns. I have guns. Knife. So, anyways, yeah. So, my first tip, just ask for help. There is no shame in that at all. If you need help, you need help. And that’s okay. And we are communal creatures. And this individualism sort of thing that we’ve just had going on for a while because of Western society and colonialism, it’s not good.

Jordan (00:47:49):

It’s not sustainable.

Sylvie (00:47:50):

It’s not sustainable at all, in all senses of the word. So, yeah, no shame in asking people for help. In fact I would say that it’s one thing that I personally encourage. No one’s gonna help us. So we have to help each other. When I say no one’s gonna help us I mean systemically no one’s gonna help us. Gotta count on each other. you got some other tips?

Jordan (00:48:10):

Yeah. I can throw a couple out there. 


Hit me with some of those. 


The first one, I will give credit where credit is due here, is definitely from Reddit, but this was a game changer for me in my early post-diagnosis, figuring out why I was the way I was and then how to deal with it. The idea is to pay the ADHD tax upfront. So, their example is that if you’re at the grocery store and you can get a head of broccoli for $1.50 or a bag of broccoli, that’s already cut up for $2.50, in most of my life I will go, I know how to food prep. I am a chef. I need to save the money. I’m gonna buy the head of broccoli. But if I either forget about it or get too exhausted or get too involved in another project to have the time.

Sylvie (00:48:59):

Yeah. Or if you’re just having a bad brain day.

Jordan (00:49:01):

Yeah. If I’m having a bad brain day and I can’t cut that broccoli up, then, you know, we might traditionally think of the ADHD tax there being the $1.50 extra that I spent on nothing, but their idea is buy the cut up broccoli bag. Yes, it costs more, but between $1.50 and $2.50, you’re only paying a dollar and it’s for broccoli you will eat instead of $1.50 for broccoli you won’t. And obviously there is a financial component to that, you know, I don’t know where everyone else’s finances are. So there’s some things that that’s not accessible to do. But if we think about the ADHD tax as time and energy, as well as money, what are the opportunities that you can say I’m gonna put in a little extra time now.

Sylvie (00:49:45):

To make sure it gets done and then I don’t have to think about it at all later. 


Yes. Yeah. Thank you. 


The immediate high when you can just do something and not have to think about it ever again. Ohh.

Jordan (00:49:57):

Yeah. For me in little ways, I love picking out my clothes the night before. Big fan. And making systems easier. If you wanna just put a bin right by your door for all of the shit that you would normally just discard as you walk home- taking off your coat, taking off your purse, taking off your things like that. You might go, oh, that’s so messy. I don’t want just a bin of crap, but that is gonna save you time and energy later when all of those things are in one place for you to pick up when you have the energy to.

Sylvie (00:50:27):

Yeah. And then, you know, not in the bathroom trash. Like a specific key.

Jordan (00:50:31):

That was entirely the key’s fault.

Sylvie (00:50:37):

Well, the bad news is that the key can’t pay the $400.

Jordan (00:50:40):

No, you’re right. I was trying to think of a way that you could key somebody’s car and then make money off of that. I don’t know why I thought that that was an option.

Sylvie (00:50:49):

I’m sure somebody would pay you to do it.

Jordan (00:50:50):

That’s true. You could sell your car keying services.

Sylvie (00:50:55):

The dark web.

Jordan (00:50:56):

The dark web. Thanks, Terry.

Sylvie (00:50:58):

Yeah. I’ve been watching a lot of [inaudible]. Yeah. My loaded silence right now is just me Florence Pugh frowning.

Jordan (00:51:08):

Yeah. It’s a very powerful frown. It’s impressive. And kind of uncanny.

Sylvie (00:51:12):

I look nothing like Florence Pugh, but I can nail that frown and it’s the only talent I have. That’s not true.


That’s false. 


I know that’s not true. Shut up. It’s for the bit. Shut up. What did we talk about? What did we talk about? 

Jordan (00:51:25):

It’s for the bit.


Did I actually get you? No. Okay, good. I was not aiming for you.


I was committing to the bit.


Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. I just couldn’t tell ‘cause you committed a little too hard. So I was like, wait. Shit. Sorry. Sorry.

Jordan (00:51:38):

Okay. It’s about the bit. And it’s also about compassion. Here we are. 


But in terms of talents that I have, it’s pretty up there. 


It’s a good one. It’s a good one. But yeah, so find ways that if you’re gonna pay the ADHD tax, pay it up front. The second one that I have is a little bit more specific, but I have gotten a lot of mileage out of. Subscriptions, right? So, subscriptions are a big challenge for me. And for many people in the ADHD community. You start that free trial. You think it’s a great deal. And then they just whoop ya.


With a recurring payment that has no reminder, usually.

Jordan (00:52:18):

And I’m sure they do that on purpose. It messes you up. It’s recurring. Month after month, it’s relentless, but most places will cancel your subscription if you just stop paying it, if they can’t get the money out of your account. So, how you may be wondering. Do you have a credit card that they can’t bill things? Do you just have to max out a credit card? No, no, no, my friends. You go and get yourself a visa gift card or probably pull one out of your old wallets that your aunt gave you in 2007. And it’s a visa card. It’s a credit card. But there’s no money on it. Or there might be, there might be a couple dollars and I think you can reload them online if it’s like, we’re gonna ping your account for a dollar, easy peasy. You put it on that card. You get your free trial. Those sneaky little bastards try and run your subscription fee and well, there’s no money in there. So they’re not taking anything from you. And they have their own darn processes. If you’re not paying for your subscription, you don’t even have to remember to cancel it ‘cause they’ll cancel it for you.

Sylvie (00:53:20):

Yeah. Truly life changing. Even going out of your way to just get a $5 visa gift card. Specifically to use in these sorts of situations. Oh, you have transcended space and time. You are living in 3022. I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of your legacy that you’re building. 


This is the mark that I leave on the world. 


Legacy, what is a legacy?


You’ve quoted Hamilton twice in this episode. 


What was the first time? 


If you don’t know now, you know.


That’s not Hamilton. It’s in Hamilton, but that’s not Hamilton specific. 


No, I know. But that phrasing in timbre of it. 


Okay. I said it ‘cause it’s words. There’s a comma between, if you don’t know, comma, now you know. So I did pause. I will say I can’t defend myself in this sort of Craig Middleton from Parks and Rec voice that I sort of adopt when we’re recording this podcast. Fuck, what did I say the other day? And you were like, wow, you sound like Craig. And I was like, what? Shut up. No, I don’t. Then you repeated it back to me. And I was like, shut up. No, I don’t. Oh, I think I told you, I was talking about how I tried, okay. Not to flex. I did make hollandaise sauce and made it technically correctly. First time off the bat. I say technically, ‘cause I would change the recipe that I used to change a little bit of the taste. It was a little heavy on the Dijon.


You can’t have that. 


I did make more than I thought was in there. And so I did start to pour it out onto my bagels and egg sort of situation I was going for with a fun, little cheap, we have no meat or vegetables, but we do have bagels and eggs, so here’s my shitty shot at an eggs Benny. 


You did commit to that bit. 


I did pour that hollandaise sauce, thinking that there was not very much. So I just turned the blender pretty much upside down. 


There was probably 12 ounces of hollandaise in there. 


Yeah, no I just had a puddle. I had a pool. I had hollandaise soup with bagel and egg in it. And not being one to waste things intentionally, I played the stupid game so I’m winning a stupid prize. I’m gonna eat all that hollandaise. And so we’re talking about it later and I was like, I didn’t wanna waste it. So I ate all of that hollandaise and now my tummy does not feel very good. So, I get it. I hate it. But I get it, I know. I do say though, that one, and now I’m gonna go lie down for 45 minutes. No, an hour. A whole hour.


It’s relatable though. 


It’s relatable. And also the lack of control over volume. It’s so relatable.


I can’t judge you for that. 


I know you can’t. We both have ADHD and auditory processing disorder. Okay. 


That was my last tip though. Do you have anything else? 


I think I did, but at the same time, this episode is going on a long time and I kinda wanna talk about literally anything else besides having to spend money that I don’t wanna spend. 


No, that’s fair. Should we hop on over to the Dopamine Trampoline then? 


Yeah. Sorry. I don’t know what just happened. 


No, I loved that energy.

Sylvie (00:56:23):

I blacked out again. 


You were the wildcat.

Sylvie (00:56:29):

Oh my god. Okay. So, if this is your first time, we do have a little segment. We call it Dopamine Trampoline. We like to hop on over there. Ba-boing!

Jordan (00:56:44):

What was that? I don’t know how, but that just had the weirdest, that had to be a catchphrase from some reality TV star in 2008. It had to be, I don’t know who.

Sylvie (00:56:56):

Are you thinking about The Big Bang Theory where they say bazinga?

Jordan (00:57:02):

No, I was going on vibes alone. I’m just like, there is a dude in floral print shorts.

Sylvie (00:57:10):

Oh, shorts. Not even a shirt.

Jordan (00:57:13):

And a backwards cap.

Sylvie (00:57:15):

So, Billabong swimsuit. Wait, and this is the mid 2000s or early oughts? So, a mesh trucker hat, but backwards. Okay. And Billabong shorts. Okay.

Jordan (00:57:29):

And Billabong flip flops, oddly. 


And billabong flip flops. Natch.


And he’s like, ba-boing. Whenever he thinks he says something really, really clever to women.

Sylvie (00:57:42):

Here’s the main character of the live action [inaudible]

Jordan (00:57:47):

His name is probably Sammy.

Sylvie (00:57:50):

Yeah, anyways. So, we do have the Dopamine Trampoline and we talk about quick, short things that are giving us dopamine at the time of recording. Or around the time of recording.

Jordan (00:58:04):

Yeah. Sometimes there are deep cuts. Occasionally I’ll be like, this was my special interest as a child.

Sylvie (00:58:08):

Oh yeah. I guess so. Yeah. We talk about stuff that has, or does give us dopamine. Things that we like, make our brains go murr or whatever.

Jordan (00:58:19):

My ADHD interest of the week. Or my former ADHD interest of the week/life obsession, you know?

Sylvie (00:58:26):

Yeah. Sometimes it’s a hyperfixation, sometimes it’s just like, I think that’s neat. 

Jordan (00:58:30):

It’s the one thing I can focus on this week. Maybe.

Sylvie (00:58:33):

Yeah. It’s the one thing that I had the time and energy to Google search to make sure I have my facts straight before we record about it.

Jordan (00:58:40):

What is your Dopamine Trampoline this week?

Sylvie (00:58:42):

Well, I’m gonna pull a big shithead move. Although if this is your first time listening, then ignore this ‘cause it’ll be your first time. I’m gonna talk about Letterkenny again, ‘cause season 10 did just drop and it is just, if there’s ever a day where anybody who is on or a part of the production or anything behind Letterkenny, please know, genuinely, I love your show so goddamn much. It has legitimately saved my life. And I don’t mean that in a weird, high pressure way. I just mean literally one time I was feeling very suicidal. And so I just put on Letterkenny and calmed down a little bit. So, thank you, genuinely, But also, the latest season.


Which I haven’t seen yet, so this is going to be a spoiler free recap. Don’t worry.

Sylvie (00:59:30):

Yeah. I know. If you have heard me talk about Letterkenny before, bummer. Buckle up. It’s happening again. Letterkenny is a Canadian TV show about a small town called Letterkenny in Ontario. And that is actually a town, but the show is fictional and all the characters are fictional. And it’s very á la Trailer Park Boys, Jackass. They kind of just explore all the realms of comedy throughout the show. There’s ten seasons now. It’s weirdly the most bro dude show, but also so wholesome and inclusive. I recognize that it’s not for everybody. It still has some spicy takes. And some episodes that maybe some might call questionable. I think when we were discussing this, some may consider some things problematic, but I feel like it’s safer to say it’s more in the off-color sort of realm. So tread lightly, if that’s not your thing. As someone who grew up in Michigan, very close to Ontario, in a farming family, in a farming community, whoo baby. It just checks all the boxes for me. Really gets the dopamine flowing. It’s so fucking funny. This show is just so intentional and they clearly think. They think so hard about certain aspects of the show, but it’s so clear that so many of the bits are just effortless and it’s just funny. All of the actors have incredibly good comedic timing. There’s all different types of comedy for all sorts of people. You know what I mean? You got your really clever niche, high-brow academic humor. You’ve got pop culture humor. You’ve got slapstick, you’ve got physical comedy. You’ve got episodes like Fartbook in season 1 where the whole point is just farting. And it’s so funny. I’ve never seen my dad laugh so hard, than when I showed him the Fartbook episode. You would think it was really funny.

Jordan (01:01:34):

That’s amazing. 


So admittedly, that’s how I grew up, okay. So, this show is so near and dear to my heart. I’ve written about it before. It is easily above and beyond. I think it’s safe to say at this point it is my favorite TV show. I don’t think I can deny that at this point. And, you know, there’s ten seasons out now. Tenth season did just drop this past Christmas. And we haven’t recorded since then. So I needed to update you all because oh, baby. There was a few seasons in there where, obviously I was not a person who thought this or felt this way, but some people thought that maybe they, you know, were trying to break out of the formulaic sort of structure and trying to experiment too much. And maybe, you know, it was getting away from the show as it was intended, you know, shit had things to say on Reddit like that. No offense, if that’s your opinion, but full offense, ‘cause it’s stupid and you’re wrong. But a lot of people have talked about how the tenth season, this most recent season, it seems like they’ve figured out how to really bring it back home, nail every single fucking bit. And it seems like they’ve sort of worked through the COVID filming protocols. ‘Cause I know that was actually legitimately a struggle for most TV shows and movies in the past couple of years, surprise. So, they really have gotten back into a rhythm and the swing of things. And there’s an episode where they are parodying TikTok and it’s VidVok. And so lots of different characters are all trying different ways to get famous on VidVok. And when I tell you that this episode has given me a will to live like nothing else, I swear to God. Because there’s a section of characters that are just hockey bros. 


Yeah, they are. 


It is set in Ontario, I don’t know what you wanted.

Jordan (01:03:23):

They’re so hockey.

Sylvie (01:03:24):

They’re so bro, I love them so much. Oh my god. So, some of the hockey bros have become famous on VidVok because they just pull their pants all the way up their ass crack and start flexing their butt cheeks ‘cause they have some nice butt cheeks, like hockey players. Hey, I’m single now. So if anyone who is a fan of our podcast is a hockey player, hit me up. Please don’t. That’s not actually an open offer to clarify, but just credit where credit’s due, we’ve said that a lot this episode, but credit where credit is due, hockey players, you’re doing some work. Such good butts, such good butts. And so I do really appreciate that they were like, you know what, we have these two super hot Chad actors who have these great butts. Let’s just give ’em a whole episode to show ’em off and that’s basically it. It’s just them standing or rollerblading or photo bombing random places with their butt cheeks just all the way out and it is-

Jordan (01:04:29):

I think it’s a really special thing when shows just have those episodes that are like, this actor has one random talent that there’s no reason to have in the show otherwise, but we’re gonna write an episode about it. You know, there’s shows that are like, we have a Shakespearean actor in the cast, let’s work that in. Or like, we have a really amazing tap dancer. It’s like, these guys just have great butts. Great.

Sylvie (01:04:52):

Literally, yeah. Yeah. So, that episode specifically of season 10 has been giving me a lot of dopamine. Also, my cousin did meet a few members of the Letterkenny cast over the holidays. And so there is a fair amount of the Letterkenny cast that has seen pictures of me specifically wearing a Shoresy jersey. And if you’re familiar with the show, that’s the jersey that has a giant 69 on the back.

Jordan (01:05:20):

Sure is. I think it is very important to mention that one of their responses was just, what a beaut.

Sylvie (01:05:26):

Which, you Canadian motherfuckers.

Jordan (01:05:29):

Just felt like that was a very important part of that situation.

Sylvie (01:05:31):

Yeah. It was very sweet. Very, very, very panic-inducing to have my cousin send me photos, blurry, blurry photos and asking to double check. This is where I’m at in life, that people ask me to double check, is this the Letterkenny cast? To which I responded holy shit! Holy shit! Oh my god!

Jordan (01:05:58):

What else would you say?

Sylvie (01:06:00):

Well, it’s a good thing that I wasn’t there in person. ‘Cause my cousin is significantly more chill. And so they chatted, met, whatever, took some pictures together. While I’m just sitting over in Chicago, just screaming. So it’s really good that I wasn’t the one who met them because I think I probably would’ve pooed my pants. Actually, no, I’d like to give myself more credit. I’m pretty good at interacting with people, actually.


Probably just a little pee.


Just a little pee. My butt cheeks would definitely be just clenched the whole time. I would be bracing myself for, I don’t know what, but something, the whole time. So, anyways, hockey player butts, I guess, if you wanna talk about, what is your Dopamine Trampoline really, Sylvie? What is it really? Hockey player butts. 


That’s the episode title. 


Nice. What’s your DT? Oh, that’s shorthand for Dopamine Trampoline. [Inaudible] Yeah. I thought I’d just be helpful. Clarify that for everybody, you know.


It’s so thoughtful.


I am so thoughtful.

Jordan (01:07:06):

I mean you are, but anyways, I’m sorry. It’s the bit. The bit and compassion. They are constantly warring forces.

Sylvie (01:07:16):

It is so hard to do self-deprecating humor around Jordan, ‘cause Jordan won’t let it happen. Which is so sweet.


I’m so sorry.


Stop it. No, don’t fucking apologize. You are so kind and so thoughtful and that is something to cherish and love about yourself. 




I fucking love you, bro. 


I fucking love you too, bro. 


I also love hockey butts.


I also love hockey butts.


Jordan hasn’t seen season 10 yet, all the way through or anything, but I did sit Jordan down and make her watch just that episode.

Jordan (01:07:50):

You have to at least respect them.

Sylvie (01:07:54):

You gotta.

Jordan (01:07:56):

Even if you’re not a butt person, the amount of effort that goes into having a butt like that. The amount of skill it takes to hone and control a butt like that.

Sylvie (01:08:08):

Yeah, true. Actual, legitimate talent. Wow. 



Sylvie (01:08:14):

Hockey butts. 


Hockey butts. 


Okay. So, what’s your DT? 


Okay. So, I’m gonna spin this around a little bit, ‘cause my DT is- many of you have probably heard of, at least a little bit by now, the internet saga of Jorts the cat. 


Ah, I forgot that you were talking about Jorts. I love Jorts, this little pet. I love this cat so much.

Jordan (01:08:34):

As mother to a stupid, stupid orange boy myself, I just feel so deeply delighted. But it’s not just the saga of Jorts the cat. It’s the current state of Jorts’ power on the internet. So, quick recap.

Sylvie (01:08:52):

I love Jorts and I love living in Chicago at a time when Jorts is alive. 


Oh, I sure do too. So, quick recap of this Jorts situation. 


So, you take a pair of jeans and you get some scissors.

Jordan (01:09:08):

There’s a whole video.

Sylvie (01:09:10):

There’s a whole Brian David Gilbert video about it. Not to tell on ourselves too much, but okay, sorry.

Jordan (01:09:15):

No, I need a second to recover from that one. So, there was a Reddit post that went viral off of the famed, and dare I say infamous, Am I The Asshole thread.


That’s such a fun place. 


And the question was, am I the asshole for, quote, enforcing ethnic stereotypes, unquote, about cats? Spoiler alert. This person was not the asahole. The situation was that in their workplace, they had two sweet, wonderful cats who lived there and their names were Jean and Jorts, which is delightful in and of itself.

Sylvie (01:09:55):

Yeah. Someone made some choices and they were the correct ones.

Jordan (01:09:58):

They were. And Jean was a smart, smart lady. And Jorts was a sweet and earnest cat who was maybe not so bright. And the person who’d posted this said, that’s fine. We just adapt to it. We just put a doorstop in doors that he accidentally closes or pull him out of the trash can when he falls into it or let Jean help groom him. But there was another coworker who felt that this was disrespectful and perpetuating this stereotype, that orange cats, because Jorts is an orange cat, perpetuating the stereotype that orange cats are stupid by not giving him the opportunity to learn. So this coworker set up some learning opportunities for this cat, tried to make those learning opportunities human team duties, and the most delightful and harrowing part of this original Jorts story was that to help him learn how to groom himself, one of these learning opportunities was that she would spread margarine on this cat. I also can’t believe she fucking buttered Jorts.

Sylvie (01:11:10):

I don’t understand. I don’t. I genuinely hope that the person in question is doing well.

Jordan (01:11:17):

It sounds like they are. There have been some update posts. It seems like that’s been resolved. But yeah. So, as understandably delighted as the entire internet was about this Jorts and Jean situation, these cats, and Jorts specifically, have become kind of a viral internet phenomenon.

Sylvie (01:11:37):

Yeah. And just in case you don’t know how the story ended, they did put a stop to comparing the stereotyping of cat colors to, you know, what humans go through with ethnic and racial stereotyping.

Jordan (01:11:52):

Yes. That was a discussion that was very important.

Sylvie (01:11:55):

What’s that one? That one back and forth community that everyone likes to point to ‘cause it’s true.

Jordan (01:12:01):

Oh, that I can excuse racism, but I draw the line of animal cruelty. Yeah.

Sylvie (01:12:06):

Yeah. I think as two whites, we can confirm that that is so accurate to white behavior.

Jordan (01:12:13):

Is it prevalent or prelavent?

Sylvie (01:12:14):

There’s relevant and prevalent.

Jordan (01:12:17):

Prevalent. Okay. I mixed those up.

Sylvie (01:12:19):

I don’t know what a lot of words mean. I’m just very good at context clues.

Jordan (01:12:23):

That’s fair. I don’t remember what I was saying that word about anyways so we can move on. Yes, they did resolve that.

Sylvie (01:12:29):

So, they did stop that. In case anyone is like, wait a minute, are we just gonna gloss over it? They didn’t. Don’t worry.

Jordan (01:12:38):

Very important update, thank you. 


Sorry. It’s so ridiculous.

Jordan (01:12:45):

It is. No, it’s so absurd. 


All of it. Oh right, oh, also worth noting, because all of this margarine got put on this little dumb orange boy and he still wasn’t grooming himself, Jean, the other cat who would help groom him, was getting tummy aches.

Jordan (01:13:01):

Yeah. But she’s better now. That’s also an important part of the story. They did stop buttering Jorts. Oh, I’m just seeing the Halloween costumes now of people in denim jorts.


Covered in butter? 


So, the part of the story that is my Dopamine Trampoline is not the original Reddit zone’s Jorts saga. It is what is happening with Jorts’ newfound internet fame, and what they are sharing and supporting with their new internet fame is workplace rights. Basically their entire brand now is just an incredibly stupid orange cat supporting unions. I think that the Teamsters Union sent him a shirt and they’re using their platform to promote unionization and workplace rights and workplace dignity, from a cat, which is extra powerful. 


Yeah. No, this little dumb orange cat is doing more for the proletariat than the past all administrations.

Jordan (01:14:04):

Yeah. Except maybe Wagner himself of the Wagner Act.

Sylvie (01:14:11)

Yeah. Which is also a DT from a past episode. 


Yes, it is.

Sylvie (01:14:14):

We love unions here.

Jordan (01:14:16):

We do. This is a union household. Neither of us are actually in unions, but we support them.

Sylvie (01:14:20):

Yeah. Not for lack of, we just don’t work in places that are-

Jordan (01:14:24):

Unionized. Yeah. Anyways. My favorite of these interactions, all of them bring me joy. All of them delight me. All of them make me feel good about somebody using their power for good. But for those of you who live in Chicago and have not heard, our dear mayor, A) has been in a little bit of a pickle with our teachers union and kind of upset with them for wanting to not die in their jobs.

Sylvie (01:14:52):

Oh, and also upset for prioritizing the actual health of students. How dare they?

Jordan (01:14:58):

How dare they? 


Which, on that note, CTU.

Jordan (01:15:00):

We love you. We genuinely love you. No caveats to that.


No, no caveat. The Chicago Teachers Union.


I’m in love with you.

Sylvie (01:15:08):

Yeah. And in a weird way.


I desire you.




Fucking nailed it, dude. Goddamn it. Oh god.

Sylvie (01:15:27):

I don’t know how we went from talking about cute orange cat to, I wanna fuck a union. But we did.


Here we are.


Not much gets me hornier than workers’ rights though. 


That’s so valid.


Is there a sexuality for that? What’s that called? Fellow queer community, help me. What do am I? What do an I?

Jordan (01:15:49):

What am I do?


I am only sexually attracted to-

Jordan (01:15:53):

The concept of unions. The concept of organized labor.

Sylvie (01:15:58):

No, I’m only horny for communal-


A polycule?


Stop it. Stop it. Okay. Sorry. So, our mayor is quite at odds with the Chicago Teachers Union.

Jordan (01:16:12):

They did come to an agreement recently, I believe.


An agreement is a word for it.


But that’s not the important part of the story. The important part of the story is that our dear mayor Lori Lightfoot got COVID.

Sylvie (01:16:26):

Sorry. Obviously this pandemic has taken a lot from everybody, including several actual human fucking lives. So, I’m not trying to make light of that. But-

Jordan (01:16:38):

The irony of the fact that she not only had the opportunity to, but publicly announced immediately after absolutely waging war against the idea that anybody else could do the same thing, worked from home ‘cause she had COVID.

Sylvie (01:16:57):

Apparently, as we’re recording, she has COVID. She is working from home.


After really, really having some strong feelings about teachers doing the same thing. And I will say I am not a teacher nor do I have kids, so I’m not gonna comment on that situation myself.

Sylvie (01:17:20):

I will. But that’s just ‘cause I’m an opinionated bitch. No amount of whatever sort of sadness that being at home and learning remotely, no amount of loneliness that comes from that will top the fact that if they go to school in person, they could fucking die.

Jordan (01:17:37):

Or kill their teachers. That’s also not a fun one to live with.

Sylvie (01:17:41):

No, it’s not. And everybody deserves to be safe and alive. And so god forbid the Chicago Teachers Union try to fight for the actual literal lives of their teachers and the students. And god forbid that parents have to deal with the children that they willingly chose to have. So, anyways. I don’t have kids. I’m not a teacher, but I have opinions. But that is just an opinion. Whatever.


I’m just gonna say the irony of it is really something.

Sylvie (01:18:15):

Yeah. The irony of releasing several incredibly rudely worded statements to the Chicago Teachers Union and verbatim saying you’re not listening.

Jordan (01:18:25):

Not super kind. 


No, not at all. 


Not super understanding. But the delightful thing about this is that this internet famous orange cat, that is not Garfield, I realize, I say that we might have lost enough context. The thing that’s just delightful to me is that Jorts the cat got to point out this irony and called out the mayor of one of the largest cities in the United States for this, to quite a lot of attention. And there’s just so many things that had to come together for that to happen, that I’m just thankful for Jorts. The end.

Sylvie (01:19:03):

Yes. Amazing. Amazing. Internet meme cat takes down cartoonishly villainous mayor in single Twitter thread. Dopamine skyrockets.


Yeah. You go, Jorts.

Sylvie (01:19:17):

You go, Jorts. I mean, I love Letterkenny, but this is also my DT. 


We’re all happy for Jorts. 


Yeah. I mean, and I think we’re very on the same wavelength with our DTs. You’re like, yeah, hockey butts and I’m like, yeah, Jorts. Doesn’t always happen that way.


This is like communal DT.




And with that, this has been Or, Learn Parkour from Wholehearted Production Company. 


You can find us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, you know, places where you can find podcasts.

Jordan (01:19:43):

Special thanks to Krizia Perito for our wonderful cover art design. You can find her at Petalhop. That’s P-E-T-A-L-H-O-P on Etsy, on Twitter, and on Instagram.

Sylvie (01:19:56):

Thank you also to Tom Rosenthal for our theme song, There is a Dark Place off of the album Keep a Private Room Behind the Shop. And again, I will drop the reminder here to go straight to Youtube.com, type in Tom Rosenthal, Bootylicious. You’re gonna see a thumbnail of a couple dudes in some very skintight outfits do it. It’s okay.


It’s good. It’s better than okay.


And you’re welcome. I’m gonna give you your own DT to experience at home.


You can follow us on the soshe meds @orlearnparkour on Twitter, @wearewpc on Instagram, and at wearewpc.com.

Sylvie (01:20:33):

You can find all those links, as well as links to whatever sources and transcripts and stuff like that, all in our episode description.

Jordan (01:20:39):

You know what else you can find in our episode description, a link to our Buzzsprout affiliate page, where if you are interested in starting your own podcast, if you sign up through our link, you get some Bennys. We get some Bennys. It’s a good time, all around. Check it out. That helps us keep the show going. If you wanna keep the show going, you can also follow it, subscribe to those feeds, click that button that says, yeah, I wanna hear more of that. We appreciates you.

Sylvie (01:21:03):

Yeah. I mean you could also, if you feel so inclined, share the show with a friend, acquaintance, dear beloved family member, the love of your life, the light of your life, your enemy, enemy to friends to lover speed run [inaudible]. I don’t know. Share it please. Word of mouth apparently still counts for something. 


We appreciates it. 


Yeah. And if you’re feeling really into this show, you could also give us money. We do have a Ko-fi and you can find a link to it on our website or on our link tree, which is, I think, on both our Twitter and Instagram.

Jordan (01:21:34):

It sure is. That’d be very cool of you if you want to. If not, no pressure, I get it.


Oh, you could also leave us some reviews.


Oh yeah. That costs nothing.


Costs nothing except time and energy, but we’d very much appreciate it and we love you.

Jordan (01:21:50):

We love you.

Sylvie (01:21:54):

Mwah. I don’t know why I did that. The Owen Wilson butthole mouth. God. Okay.


Let’s finish this show. I’m Jordan. 


I’m Sylvie. 


This has been Or, Learn Parkour. We’ll see you in two weeks.

Sylvie (01:22:07):

Hockey butts.


Hockey butts, hockey butts, hockey butts.

OLP 030: You Have To Drink the Bong Water – Transcript

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