[Intro audio: “There is a Dark Place,” by Tom Rosenthal]
Jordan (00:29):
Hi, I’m Jordan.
Lex:
And I’m Lex.
Jordan:
And this is Or, Learn Parkour. Woo!
Lex:
It’s a podcast about ADHD done by two people who for sure have ADHD.
Jordan:
It still is. And we still do.
Lex:
Yeah. Hallowed be thy ween..
Jordan:
Welcome back, team.
Lex:
Truly. Happy Halloween. This episode is dropping on Halloween, so.
Jordan:
Yes, it is. We couldn’t leave you hanging without our Halloween episode. That’s become a tradition. It’s wild that we’ve had a podcast long enough to have traditions.
Lex:
Yeah. And when we say tradition, we mean that very loosely, as in, we’ve done Halloween themed episodes two years in a row, and now it’s year three, so here you go.
Jordan:
Yep. I mean, that’s every year that we’ve been podcasting, so I think that counts as a tradition.
Lex:
I guess so. I mean, it is a national holiday. So it does feel like it’s not necessarily OLP specific.
Jordan:
No, that’s fair. But, but, but, hold on to your butts.
Lex:
But yeah, I mean, it’s Halloween, baby. It’s our favorite holiday in this fucking house.
Jordan:
One of my favorite holidays.
Lex:
I’ll come out and say it with my whole fucking chest. Halloween is my favorite.
Jordan:
I’m so happy for you. I feel like I love Christmas too much to fully commit to it. But I do very much enjoy a hallowed ween. So let’s jump into it. We’ve got a very festive episode today. We’re recording this before Halloween, so we’re probably gonna be, what are we doing for Halloween?
Lex:
I mean, we’re going to a show. And then also the next night we’re going to a Halloween party.
Jordan (00:02:09):
That is true.
Lex (00:02:10):
So we’re doing two things over the weekend on both Friday and Saturday for Halloween. So I feel like we’re doing everything. We have a fully booked weekend.
Jordan (00:02:22):
That’s fair. Well, I guess dropping an episode is our plan for the day of.
Lex (00:02:28):
Yeah. I mean, I was like, we both have to work. Yeah, that’s true. So I was going there like, am I gonna wear my costume to work? Probably.
Jordan:
Are you?
Lex:
Yeah.
Jordan:
Incredible.
Lex:
Yeah. They all know because I wore the sweatshirt today. And so, you know.
Jordan:
Just for everybody else tuning in, who doesn’t work with you, what are you gonna be for Halloween this year, Lex?
Lex (00:02:51):
Or what was I? I guess for our audience members, what was I? Because by the time you hear this, it’ll have passed.
Jordan:
Well, you’ll be at work.
Lex:
Okay. Yeah, I guess. So for Halloween this year, I am the devil’s lettuce.
Jordan:
Please explain, please elaborate.
Lex:
For the un-inoculated. Sorry. For those who don’t know, for you, goody goodys, the devil’s lettuce is a silly little slang term for weed, for marijuana, cannabis, et cetera.
Jordan:
…Mary Jane.
Lex:
Are you doing okay over there? What’s happening?
Jordan (00:03:30):
I just forgot the other words.
Lex:
It’s okay. You don’t smoke weed, so you don’t have to.
Jordan:
I did see a weed shop in Portland called Electric Lettuce.
Lex:
Yeah. Electric lettuce. Devil’s Lettuce.
Jordan:
Jazz Cigarette.
Lex:
Yeah. Jazz Cigarette.
Jordan:
It’s a good one.
Lex:
It’s a good one. But yeah. So I’m gonna be the devil’s lettuce. And if you’re wondering, like, hey, so how are you gonna look like a fat nug? How are you gonna be a plant? You gonna be like a jar full of nugs? What’s happening?
Jordan:
Are you gonna be a joint?
Lex:
There’s a couple of options and I will say, I’ve gotten a little bit more metaphorical with it because the devil’s lettuce may be a slang term for weed, but what I’m gonna do is wear lettuce colored clothing. Lettuce and green colored clothing, specifically. We’ll share outfits.
Jordan:
Yeah, we’ll put it on the Twitter. We’ll put it on the gram. Y’all have to see this.
Lex:
Yeah. No, this one of the pieces of clothing, I dunno how to explain it without totally giving it away, but it looks exactly, it looks exactly like weed.
Jordan:
Shockingly.
Lex:
Freakishly looks like weed. So I’m wearing a sweatshirt that looks like weed. And I’m also wearing some other green clothing, et cetera. I’ve got some flame motif earrings.
Jordan:
They’re very good.
Lex:
I’ve got some socks coming. ‘Cause I remember from last time we went to a party at your coworker’s house I remember that everyone took their shoes off and I felt really unprepared. So now I’m like, okay, if I don’t have my shoes off, that’s fine. My shoes will just be on, whatever. But my costume needs to be complete. Shoes or not.
Jordan:
Oh, I respect the commitment.
Lex:
So I did order some socks. Can’t wait to show you them. They’re getting here today.
Jordan:
Oh, I can’t wait.
Lex:
And then I also just, you know, like with anybody, like any other queer, I just have a set of little horn clips that I made out of lightweight Clay.
Jordan:
They’re very good.
Lex:
That I made specifically to go see the live show in Chicago of the Adventure Zone in 2019. I dressed up as Billy the Goat, so I made myself some horns.
Jordan:
It was great. I mean, I’m reusing part of my costume from that too. I’m gonna wear the Istus crown.
Lex:
Oh, good. Oh yeah. Now it’s your turn. Please share what you’re gonna be. Oh, oh, oh, sorry. And to top it off, I will probably have, for legal reasons, I’m kidding, but it’s legal in Chicago.
Jordan:
I was like, what legal reasons?
Lex:
Yeah. No, but I am also probably gonna just have joints to pass out.
Jordan:
Maybe that guy will bring the volcano again.
Lex:
Oh my God, That was so fun. Anyways, okay. So what’s yours though? Oh, right. Sorry. One more thing. Sorry. No, I’m leading into yours because I was inspired by Jordan. Because Jordan has a costume that I was like, that’s so funny. I wanna do something like that. And then I sat and thought about it until I thought of something funny that’s kind of like that. So, sorry. Continue.
Jordan (00:06:30):
It’s not quite a duo costume, but I’d say we’re thematically relevant to each other.
Lex:
Oh yeah.
Jordan:
So what I’ve got, I have this kind of cream colored skirt with a golden sash. I have a halo kind of crown. I’m gonna get myself some little wings, which reminds me, I’m gonna go to Party City on Thursday. And I’m going to have this, you know, ethereal, angelic costume and a pair of glasses with the fake eyebrows and a fake mustache. And I’m going to be a blessing in disguise.
Lex:
I’m so excited. I am just so excited.
Jordan:
I am too. I’m a little bit nervous to explain it to people, cuz I know I’m going to have to.
Lex:
Yeah. But that one’s funny. And not to say that your past Halloween costumes haven’t been funny, but there’s something infinitely better about explaining a pun or a funny costume. Versus having to be like, no, I’m not Marie Antoinette, I’m a thunderstorm, but thanks.
Jordan:
Yeah. That’s fair.
Lex:
Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I feel like anything’s gonna be an improvement for you over that sort of experience.
Jordan:
Over my two niche artistic costumes. That’s fair. And I deserve that.
Lex:
I mean, I’m guilty of it too.
Jordan:
That’s why we’re friends. That’s why we work well.
Lex:
It’s a sympathy thing, an empathy thing, I’m glad that you won’t have to do that.
Jordan:
It’s not fun. No, no.
Lex:
And if people don’t get it they’re gonna feel stupid. You know what I mean?
Jordan:
I don’t think they’ll feel stupid. I think that they’ll be like, oh, I get it now. But on first glance, they might just be like, are you dead Groucho Marx? Like, what?
Lex:
But that’s the thing though, is you’re gonna be like, no, no, I’m a blessing in disguise. And like, they’re gonna feel like idiots because it’s gonna be, it’s like one of those things that it’s so obvious once you say it. You know what I mean?
Jordan:
Hopefully.
Lex:
I want people to feel stupid. I want ’em to feel dumb.
Jordan (00:08:30):
See, I’m concerned about the opposite of it. It’s infinitely better, but also infinitely worse to explain a pun. Because the better the pun is, the angrier people are versus if they’re like, oh, I thought you were Marie Antoinette. They’re just like, huh. Weird. Okay. And move on. Yeah. But the anger, the pun specific anger.
Lex:
That’s what you’re gonna feed off of. Nice.
Jordan:
Yes, it is.
Lex:
We’re just gonna have to stand right next to each other to get the full range of reactions. Cuz we both have pun costumes this year.
Jordan:
We do. We do.
Lex:
But yeah, I would be lying if I was like, yeah, I decided to use my devil horns just on my own. I didn’t think about the fact that Jordan was gonna be an angel or anything. No, that was totally me. I just had an original idea.
Jordan:
That’s why we work well together.
Lex:
Yeah. No, I absolutely was like, that’s fun. I wanna do that too.
Jordan:
Yeah. Fun.
Lex:
Planned.
Jordan:
Hell yeah.
Lex:
So welcome to our podcast.
Jordan:
It’s about ADHD. If you haven’t gathered.
Lex:
And admittedly also is about Halloween, so I guess that’s fine too. But we’re not just gonna talk to you about what we’re wearing.
Jordan:
We’ll show you what we’re wearing. We’ll put it on the sosh meeds.
Lex:
Yeah. But we do have something else planned for you today. And it’s very spooky time.
Jordan:
Yes, it is.
Lex:
Because we are going to, here, let me get my best horror narrator.
Jordan:
Yeah. Gimme that RL Stein, give me that.
Lex:
All right. RL, fuck.
Jordan:
That Rod Sterling.
Lex:
I mean, I was just gonna kind of go for it with like, a more-
Jordan:
Like that Jon Archivist. What horror narrator are we talking here?
Lex:
Well, so when I think of classic horror narrator, I think of the Amityville Horror House. Looks like a house. It looks like a house. It looks like any other house on the block. But what you don’t know, So, you know that kind of vibe. So in a world where monsters are revered as terrible, horrible things that make us shiver and give us STDs.
Jordan:
This is taking a, I can’t say it’s entirely unexpected, turn.
Lex: (00:10:52):
Yeah. No. Okay. I think so.
Jordan:
You want me to just jump in.
Lex:
Okay. But just imagine if monsters were just like you and me. And by that I mean, come into a world and imagine with us what must it be like when a monster has ADHD.
Jordan:
This was great audio. We don’t have an organ.
Lex:
Nope. Okay. That was it though. That was my best shot.
Jordan:
No, that was powerful. I just think I could handle another shot. That was.
Lex :
I don’t think I could either. Really took a lot out of me energy wise.
Jordan:
You really committed. Yeah. You really left it all out there on the stage.
Lex:
Being a performer is really hard sometimes, You know, people don’t talk about it.
Jordan:
Vulnerable, you know, you really just bear your most.
Lex:
Yeah. And my acting is very visceral and reactive at the same time.
Jordan:
I mean, acting is reacting.
Lex:
You’re so right, bestie. All right. So when are we gonna meet up for our next class at UCLA? Jesus Christ. Okay.
Jordan (00:12:15):
Yeah. But that is what we are talking about today. Which classic horror monsters have ADHD. So we’re gonna brainstorm. What are those classic monsters? What are their traits? Are those possible symptoms of ADHD and are very professional, not doctors at all, diagnosing completely fictional characters. Opinions.
Lex:
Yeah. Totally normal stuff. Totally run-of-the-mill, day-to-day tasks being completed here in the Or, Learn Parkour closet.
Jordan:
Studio.
Lex:
It’s a closet. The studio’s a closet.
Jordan:
It is. A cludio. A Stodet?
Lex:
Cludio or stodet.
Jordan:
(to the tune of Sussudio by Phil Collins) Cl-cl-cludio.
Lex:
It sounds a little bit like you’re saying clit.
Jordan:
I was going for studio, but that works too.
Lex:
‘Cause I think just like any cl if you say it a little fast, people are gonna be like, huh?
Jordan:
Good. Raising awareness.
Lex:
The clitoris does exist.
Jordan:
Apparently. Yeah.
Lex:
Hard to find, but they’re there. That’s really not true. They’re not hard to find. Just look at a diagram.
Jordan:
Just listen to one person with one.
Lex:
Yeah. It’s not that hard. Google’s free. So anyways, let’s talk about monsters.
Jordan:
Let’s talk about monsters.
Lex (00:13:42):
So when we say classic monsters, can you gimme some example? What does that mean? Really? Classic monsters you think of.
Jordan:
So I’m thinking, classic monsters. Any non-animal or sports player on a cereal box. We got your Choculas, we got your Frankensteins, your mummies. That genre. Werewolves.
Lex:
Vampires.
Jordan:
Vampires.
Lex:
You said Choculas already. My apologies.
Jordan:
That’s all good. Common mistake.
Lex:
I mean, okay. If we’re doing just cereal boxes though, what does that do for, I don’t know, Cryptids? I guess that’s probably another episode, honestly, it’s a whole other thing.
Jordan:
I was gonna say, that’s a whole other thing. I think we should wait to have a guest speaker for that one.
Lex:
Are you saying that we need to get Bigfoot or Mothman on the show?
Jordan:
Bigfoot or Mothman, if you are listening, we’ll share our social media at the end of the show. Please reach out. We would love to have a chat. Hit me up about the podcast or otherwise.
Lex:
Yeah. And real quick, just in your native tongue cuz I know English is not necessarily, it’s a very odd language and it’s annoying as fuck to learn. [Screaming]
Jordan:
I’m gonna take this moment to remind everybody else who just experienced that that our studio is a closet.
Lex:
I’m so sorry. Well, we were watching, well I was watching and then I brought Jordan in just to watch the section that I was watching.
Jordan:
I think you single handedly disproved their theory though cuz they were like, those are sounds that no human being can make. But here you just did.
Lex:
I just did all of them. Yeah, there’s a documentary on Netflix or Hulu, I don’t know, but it’s Missing 411. And it’s that guy who used to be an investigator for the government, but now he’s just a PI and he specifically looks at disappearances. And specifically has got a lot of information about disappearances in the national park and state park system. Basically, wilderness areas. And basically he talks to some people who got some very unique audio that they claim belongs to the monsters or whatever the thing is. And they don’t know what it is.
Jordan:
Aliens, extraterrestrial is kind of their-
Lex:
Or whatever sort of non-human entity. But basically they got some shit just fucking howling, just making the weirdest goddamn noises.
Jordan:
It’s genuinely really disconcerting.
Lex:
It’s really disconcerting. And they apparently got the audio analyzed professionally by a couple of different specialists in different fields and stuff. And basically the consensus is A, no human can make those frequencies that are lower and higher that those voices are making. B, the size is guessed to be approximately between seven and a half to eight and a half feet tall. So bigger than a human, but probably bipedal. However, the speech pattern itself is not the way that human speech patterns operate in the quickness of replies and things like that. So very genuinely they’re like, we don’t know what the fuck this is. It’s an unidentified call. It’s an unidentified sound. Yeah. And it is so weird sounding. It is so bizarre.
Jordan:
It is. It is.
Lex:
So that was my, you know, my attempt at communication. Yeah.
Jordan:
I’m sure that the audio engineers that they hired to analyze that are people who analyze weird and disturbing stuff just to have that skill set. But I’m also wondering what it would be like if your job is just general sound engineering, you work concerts and stuff and maybe do some podcast editing on the side and you get a fucking Fiverr message that was like, hey, can you look at this audio for me? And you’re like, sure, what do you need with it? And they’re like, is it human?
Lex:
Yeah. One fear. One fear.
Jordan:
No. You have to look at the spectrogram and you’re like, nope, it’s not.
Lex:
It’s not anything we understand.
Jordan:
Either that or Freddy Mercury’s back.
Lex (00:18:12):
Oh Christ. Anyways, so, cryptids, we’ll get to you. Okay. So we’re talking vampires, werewolves, mummies, ghosts.
Jordan:
Oh, ghosts. Very crucial. Yeah. Ghosts, Frankensteins.
Lex:
I mean, Frankenstein is just one monster. There’s not a genre of monsters based on Frankenstein. It’s just one monster. And Frankenstein is the doctor, which I know we all know ‘cause of the bit, whatever, but, we can include him ‘cause I love him. I love Frankenstein’s monster so much.
Jordan:
I feel like if Dr. Frankenstein created this thing, this creature, this person, if that’s kind of his son, wouldn’t his name also be Frankenstein? If we go with a general kind of patriarchal name sharing.
Lex:
Sort of, I would maybe, but also in the books, Frankenstein, he does just take the monster to the Arctic circle or some shit and is like, good luck. And just literally abandons the monster.
Jordan:
Dads do that sometimes. Christ.
Lex:
Oh, his dad did it too actually.
Jordan:
My dad’s birthday was yesterday.
Lex (00:19:34):
Oh well he’s a great dad.
Jordan:
He is. He did not abandon me. No. Wait, I said he’s sorry. You said he’s a great dad and I said he isn’t cuz I think I was responding to you saying he’s not like that. My dad’s a great dad. He didn’t abandon me in the Arctic circle at all.
Lex:
Yeah. He hasn’t abandoned you at all, at all. Pretty great.
Jordan:
Yeah. Pretty solid Dad.
Lex:
Pretty solid Dad. Unlike Victor Frankenstein. Victor, that’s his name, right? Yeah. I haven’t read that since my freshman year of college, but fuck yeah, Mary Shelly. How do we feel about Cthulu? Actually, you know what? Fuck him. I’m kind of neutral on Cthulu, but yeah, we can just leave Lovecraft out of this, I feel like, that’s fine. Fuck you, Lovecraft. Whatever. Yeah.
Jordan:
I’m thinking very classic. Everyone who was at the Monster Mash.
Lex:
Witches.
Jordan:
Witches.
Lex:
Witches, werewolves, ghosts, vampires, special request Frankensteins, mummies, ghouls, ghosts are kind of ghouls.
Jordan:
Yeah, I was gonna say, they share enough traits that I would say it’s maybe one of those.
Lex:
Zombies.
Jordan:
Zombies. Oh my God, how did I forget zombies?
Lex:
You’re not into horror at all. That’s true. There’s every reason for you to not have this.
Jordan:
But the Cranberries song. I should know that at least.
Lex:
Yeah, but in the context of Halloween and classic monsters, you know.
Jordan:
Fair. Fair. I think that’s a very solid list.
Lex:
Okay. My next question, do we want to include human monsters? And by that I don’t mean specific serial killers. But the general ax murderer type, right? You’ve got your Freddys. Your Jasons. You know, does that count? Cuz that is sort of a classic monster genre in horror. But because it’s a human, do you think? Okay. That’s fair. That’s fair.
Jordan:
Yeah. I was gonna say, I feel like that edges into diagnosis that I don’t really wanna get into.
Lex:
Yeah. Okay.
Jordan:
I think we have a solid list.
Lex:
We do. We do. I think I’m just like, what if we didn’t include everybody.
Jordan:
Next year.
Lex:
There’s so many monsters.
Jordan :
There’s so many monsters. But let’s dive in. Let’s get into it. So first monster on the list. Vampires. What are their traits?
Lex (00:21:55):
Love blood.
Jordan:
Love blood. Good.
Lex:
Very about blood.
Jordan:
Super into blood. Nocturnal.
Lex:
Yeah. Nocturnal. That’s a good one. Very anti garlic. I’m trying to think of traits that just don’t sound like, I’m trying to not be super reductive and mean to these monsters, but, pale. Well, so nocturnal I guess kind of predicates that, huh?
Jordan:
Often.
Lex:
Often.
Jordan:
Yeah. I mean your skin tone’s your skin tone.
Lex:
The most pallid version of your skin tone.
Jordan:
Yeah. Pallid. That’s a good word. Not necessarily pale.
Lex:
Classically. They’re Transylvanian.
Jordan:
Yeah. Classic vampires. Classic Dracula. Can’t enter a home without permission.
Lex:
Yeah. I’m having some theories already.
Jordan:
Oh, they like counting. That’s the whole Count on Sesame Street. That’s why he’s a Count. Cuz he counts.
Lex:
‘Cause he counts. Yeah. Which is actually thought to be, you know what? Nope, we’re gonna hold all that monster lore, we’re just gonna hold it inside. I didn’t say anything.
Jordan:
I’m so thankful for you. We’ll get there. We’ll get to it. So let’s see. Any other important?
Lex:
Wood stakes. Crosses. Really any sort of sign of the Lord Savior Jesus Christ is not great. However, so I guess that’s the thing, right? There’s been so many iterations of these classic monsters. So I feel like, take what we’re saying, obviously with a grain of salt ‘cause this is very serious research. I understand if you’re really buckling down with a notebook for this one.
Jordan:
Yeah. This is just our, I mean, you know, somebody will do a, what’s it called when you do a study that’s just a bunch of other studies. You compare ’em all.
Lex:
I’ve been out of grad school since 2018. What do you want from me?
Jordan:
That’s fair. This is just our decade’s, our life’s work of research. So take it or leave it.
Lex:
For me, I would walk that back and say, there’s no possible way we’re gonna get all these traits right, comprehensively. So if you are like, you didn’t think about this, okay, great. You did. Good job.
Jordan:
Well done.
Lex:
I’m happy for you.
Jordan:
They sparkle.
Lex:
Yeah. That’s another.
Jordan:
Not classic, but I feel like it’s really taken root in vampire stereotypes.
Lex:
I would disagree. It’s just the one iteration that talks about them being sparkly. And when people talk about vampires they jokingly say, and they’re sparkly because it’s like, haha. So they’re not sparkly. For these classic vampires, I feel like they’ve been pretty clear about being like, hey, we’re not sparkly, actually. That’s a misconception.
Jordan:
Yeah. I don’t wanna perpetuate stereotypes.
Lex:
Yeah, exactly. Stephanie Meyer, she really didn’t do her research from what I understand. And I mean, don’t get me started on the Native werewolves. So maybe we shouldn’t include Twilight in our study, do you? But great point. I’m glad we ironed that out. I mean, vampires, anti garlic, anti wood, pro night time, pro blood. Sometimes can sparkle, but they don’t appreciate it when you stereotype them that way.
Jordan:
Oh. Can’t cross moving water.
Lex:
Yeah. Yep. Can’t cross moving water. Can’t see themselves in mirrors. Can’t cross thresholds.
Jordan:
Can’t cross thresholds.
Lex:
A lot of can’ts.
Jordan):
Yeah. Can, I think, move super fast. Have superhuman strength.
Lex:
Oh! They can turn into bats.
Jordan:
They can turn into bats.
Lex:
See, I knew, I was like, we’re forgetting something big. I think that was it, they can turn into bats.
Jordan:
Crucial. Yeah.
Lex:
And so whether they’re flying as a little bat or they’re just in their little vampire body. They move real quick. You know, Nosferatu was on the complete opposite of that though. Fucking moved like a snail. Special effects at the time were a little iffy. The people were, their minds were fucking blown by Nosferatu because the physical practical effects of his coffin lifting up and the coffin opening with no indication of how that was happening. That was huge for the film industry actually. I’m fine. I’m a normal person.
Jordan:
Yep. Sleep in coffins. That might be a good one too. But I think we have a decent enough list. You know, because vampires are just like us. They’re unique. Everyone is.
Lex:
Yeah. Yeah. Of course.
Jordan:
They have their own mix of traits and bring something new to the table, but given what we know, our pool. First instincts, vampires. Do they have ADHD?
Lex:
I mean, I’d say yes. Nocturnal, automatically. Not on the right, quote unquote correct time schedule that people generally like to hold everyone to. Fast. Just kind of a higher vibration of movement. Very erratic.
Jordan:
Yeah. Can be killed with stakes through the heart. Like I think everyone with ADHD.
Lex:
Yeah. Yeah. You got me there. No object permanence. Can’t see themselves in the mirror.
Jordan:
That’s a very good one. Yeah. Yeah.
Lex:
I’m pretty proud of that one.
Jordan:
That’s very good. Well done. All right. Do we think that they have any inattentive, hyperactive combined or there’s just a range?
Lex:
I feel like it’s gotta be hyperactive, right? Between the fast movement, no object permanence, they’re erratic, I think.
Jordan:
They literally take flight. Yep. All right. Nice.
Lex:
And structure’s very good for them.
Jordan:
How so?
Lex:
You have to come back and you have to sleep in your coffin during the daytime or else you die.
Jordan:
Very good point. Damn, you’re good.
Lex:
Thank you.
Jordan (00:28:21):
So vampires have hyperactive ADHD.
Lex:
Yeah. That seems correct to me.
Jordan:
You heard it here first.
Lex:
If you’re a vampire and you disagree, you know, let us know. Reach out and you know, if you’re a vampire and you’re immortal, reach out. Let us know.
Jordan:
Talk to us. Follow up question though. What would happen if a vampire sucked the blood of somebody on Adderall?
Lex:
Do you think they’d get extra good at counting? Or do you think it would overload them? Do you think they’d just sleep through the night and the next day? I guess it kind of depends on how fast they drink the blood, right? ‘Cause if you’re taking little sips throughout the day, that’s like extended release. You know? If they suck a lot of ADHD blood all at once, do they just pass the fuck out or-
Jordan:
Get the zoomies?
Lex:
Yeah. Do they get the zoomies? Instead of sleeping in their coffin all day, windows all drawn of course for safety, but are they drafting the next declaration of Independence? I don’t know.
Jordan:
Yeah. Drafting the next plot to steal the next declaration of Independence. I think that that probably depends on feeding time and also the dosage that the victim is on.
Lex:
Yeah. Well, and the tolerance too, right? Because some vampires, they just have a human pet that they’ll feed on in increments.
Jordan:
You could just target people with ADHD and be like, you’re on the meds. I’ll just, you know.
Lex:
Yeah, that’s true.
Jordan:
Follow people out of the pharmacy.
Lex:
Rough. I think yeah. It depends probably on tolerance too. Yeah. You know, if you’ve been just honking that bobo.
Jordan:
God. Yeah. How high would your tolerance have to be after hundreds of years.
Lex:
Of Adderall hopped-up people.
Jordan:
And living through the era of cocaine just being in soda.
Lex:
Yeah.
Jordan:
So I think that Adderall would just put him to sleep. That would be nothing. I’m revising my theory. I think that that’s it.
Lex:
Okay. Great. Done and dusted.
Jordan:
Done and dusted. Shall we move on to the next one?
Lex:
We shall.
Jordan (00:30:42):
Mummies.
Lex:
Where do we even start with these guys?
Jordan:
Traits.
Lex:
Yeah. Where do we even fucking start with these guys?
Jordan:
Yeah. Wrapped.
Lex:
Yeah. Yes. Literally mummified.
Jordan:
Yes. Yeah. Mummified.
Lex:
Had all their organs removed and they’ve been embalmed and preserved and usually known for being specifically Egyptian.
Jordan:
Yes.
Lex:
Which seems problematic.
Jordan:
Before we get into the rest of the specifics, we might have already answered our own question. I don’t think mummies can have ADHD if they don’t have a brain.
Lex:
Fuck. Yeah. All right. Sorry, mummies.
Jordan:
Sorry, mummies.
Lex:
But you’re doing great.
Jordan:
Yeah.
Lex:
Keep chasing after-
Jordan:
Keep shambling slowly after your dreams.
Lex:
Keep shambling slowly after your dreams is probably one of the funniest things you’ve said in a long time. Fuck off.
Jordan:
We’ll put that on a sticker. Alright, great. I’m gonna call that one a wrap. Shall we keep it moving?
Lex:
Oh, absolutely.
Jordan:
Werewolves traits.
Lex (00:31:48):
Half wolf, half person.
Jordan:
Yeah. Half wolf, half human. Usually not half and half. Physically half and half, time-wise, it’s not like a mermaid situation.
Lex:
Yeah, definitely not like a centaur issue or anything like that. It’s like a split shift. Half the time they’re human. Half the time they’re puppies.
Jordan:
That’s actually what Night Shift by Lucy Dacus is about.
Lex:
I’m just imagining because, gonna show our asses here real quick, I’m imagining just some werewolfs. Werewolves.
Jordan:
Yeah. Werewolves.
Lex:
Werewolves driving down Lake Shore Drive in Chicago at night, windows down [howling] and then just devolving into howl sobs.
Jordan:
Which is what happens when I listen to Night Shift too. So yeah. You’re so fucking valid, werewolves.
Lex:
So fucking valid, werewolves.
Jordan:
Full moon. Reactive to the full moon.
Lex:
But most of us are, that’s the tough thing with werewolves. That’s the tough thing with all of these, right? They are monsters. Whether you believe in them literally or not, they are creations of humanity. Right?
Jordan:
What’s the Guillermo del Toro quote?
Lex:
I’m glad you asked. That’s actually gonna be my DT so I’m gonna hold back. But there’s a great gammer- giermo… there’s a great quote by famed horror and Halloween-y director, I can’t say it. My throat is literally catching around his name.
Jordan:
I’m so sorry. Guillermo del Toro.
Lex:
Guillermo del Toro. Literally I can feel the phlegm layer right here and it’s right in the double Ls and I’m like, anyways.
Jordan:
Yeah. It’s phlegmy.
Lex:
I can’t imagine why, I’m sure I’m just screeching for half a second. You know? That was fine. But yeah, so I think the tough thing with werewolves and when you say the stuff about the full moon affects werewolves, I’m like, oh, the full moon affects all of us. So, you know. Yeah.
Jordan:
What else? What do they do when they’re werewolves?
Lex:
I mean, they lose control of themselves. It’s sort of the typical thing, right? They lose control of their, they lose contact with the human, quote unquote half of their brain, essentially. And they just become regular old wolves with a taste for human flesh. And so they usually do hunt humans. A werewolf bite will turn other people into werewolves. So I would imagine some time is taken up with hunting and, you know, chewing. Lots of chomping.
Jordan:
Did you know that dogs poop on a north-south axis? That’s kind of why they circle around and they usually are oriented north or south.
Lex:
That is so fucking weird.
Jordan:
Isn’t it?
Lex:
Nature’s amazing.
Jordan:
I know.
Lex:
But also terrifying.
Jordan:
I wonder if you would retain that sense as a werewolf in your person form, or if you would only get that, I feel like you would have to, at least subconsciously, be like a pilot?
Lex:
No, I know, but what would you do if you’re sitting down on a public toilet and the toilet’s facing east or west?
Jordan:
I mean, I’m sure you could use the human part of your brain to say, I don’t have to sit that way.
Lex:
But what if you did? Okay. So basically, you know, they do dog stuff and they also do human stuff and that’s kind of their whole thing. But I think the main sort of plot line with werewolves is that they lose control. And then there’s also a stereotype of even when they’re in their human forms, they just have some dog traits. So I mean, from there I personally would jump right into, I think they probably do have ADHD. Cuz most people that I’m like, ha, you remind me of a dog.
Jordan:
Yeah. That kind of golden retriever.
Lex:
Yep. Yeah. Speaking, 100% self dunk. Boy, And in terms of monsters on this list, right, as a child, which ones did I connect the most with? You know, werewolves for sure. At least on this list of classic monsters. Werewolves. I was always like, yeah. What do you think?
Jordan:
I would agree with that. I feel like you definitely know more about werewolves than I do. But to that end point of, it’s about losing control. I feel like that’s just hyperfixation, baby. That’s just being impulsive.
Lex:
That’s just hyperfixation, baby. I hate you. Fuck. Hey, we haven’t had any quotes that could be on stickers for two years, but now here we are. Here’s five in one episode. Here’s five zingers.
Jordan:
Oh, Halloween stickers would be so fun.
Lex:
They would be so fun. Like a little orange disco ball. Okay.
Jordan:
I was just trying to think through hyperactive versus inattentive.
Lex:
I’m tempted to say combined.
Jordan:
Yeah.
Lex:
The half and half situation. And how they seem to have traits of both. In pretty equal measure.
Jordan:
Yeah. Well, and it seems like a big part of the werewolf experience is recovering from werewolf time. And that just exhaustion and you have no idea why. Yeah. Combined type, that tracks. I’ll put my name behind that one. Great. Werewolves.
Lex (00:37:35):
What’s next?
Jordan:
Frankenstein’s monster.
Lex:
Frankenstein’s monster. Okay. I mean, I have some opinions on this, but let’s talk traits.
Jordan:
Let’s talk traits. Bolt in the neck often.
Lex:
Electricity powered.
Jordan:
Electricity powered. Yes.
Lex:
Yes. Electric. Yeah. That’s yes.
Jordan:
Made up of other people’s parts.
Lex:
Yeah. I was gonna say the sewn together body parts is a pretty big thing.
Jordan:
Also a superhuman strength situation.
Lex:
Yeah, yeah. Sort of like superhuman strength. You know, in the books it was said that Victor Frankenstein tried to make him handsome or kind of sexy. So we could just jot that down. Sexy. I’m comfortable admitting that as just a full on Frankenstein trait, right? Just sexy.
Jordan:
Well I think that it’s worth noting that if we are gonna look at the whole of Frankenstein-esque characters ‘cause there really is one Frankenstein.
Lex:
Yeah. And it’s not even the fucking monster. Unless you look at it from a morality standpoint, in which case Frankenstein absolutely is the monster.
Jordan:
Yes. Frankenstein’s creature. If we are thinking about Frankenstein-esque creatures, Rocky Horror Picture Show. Very sexy. That’s the whole point.
Lex:
Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I think, as fucked up as it is, having different body parts sewn together means that you can pick, and as fucked up as this is, and it doesn’t necessarily look good at the end, but you can pick the best body parts from each body.
Jordan:
Here’s the thing though, I think we might have run into a similar end as our mummy’s question where we kind of just answered ourselves. Frankenstein, sexy, obviously has ADHD.
Lex:
Yeah. Yeah. I was gonna say Frankenstein’s monster does have a brain. Right. And so has a brain so has the ability, and I would say, the odds of being made up of that many different human body parts and not having ADHD are pretty low. So we can add that into the reasoning.
Jordan:
Yeah. Yep
Lex:
Yep. But same. He had me at sexy. You’re sexy. You got ADHD. Probably inattentive. Just real big. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I’m just here being hot.
Jordan:
And he’s hot, but he’s also kind of a thinker. He kind of thinks about the nature of humanity. So that kind of pondering.
Lex:
Yeah. Yeah. Thinks about, I don’t know. Why can’t I just have a normal dad? Why can’t my dad and I just have a loving relationship.
Jordan:
God, it’s sadder every time.
Lex:
It’s really sad. The story of Frankenstein is fucked up. Mary Shelley did so good, but also, what the fuck.
Jordan:
Yeah. I’m gonna self-dunk on myself now. Have not actually read the book, but did see both versions of the stage play there where both Betty Toots Cucumberbutt and Johnny Lee Miller played Frankenstein and Victor Frankenstein and switched parts every night.
Lex:
That’s fun.
Jordan:
It was actually wonderful. Yeah, it was a great show. Great show. I saw the movie version of it. Obviously I was not in London for it.
Lex-:
Fair. Fair. I read the book
Jordan-:
You sure did. So yeah. Inattentive type ADHD. Frankenstein.
Lex:
Bing, bang, boom. There you go.
Jordan:
Dang.
Lex (00:41:02):
Let’s talk about ghosts.
Jordan:
Let’s talk about ghosts. What do you wanna say about ghosts, Lex?
Lex:
Traits: dead.
Jordan:
Dead. Can walk through walls.
Lex:
I would say further, instead of just walk through walls, I would say incorporeal. They don’t have bodies. They are incorporeal.
Jordan:
They may or may not be human shaped.
Lex:
Sometimes those are just a little ball of light.
Jordan:
Or you have your classic kind of sheet covered.
Lex:
Oh yeah. A little Casper action.
Jordan:
You could have a full on “Some-color-of Lady.”
Lex:
That’s true. Yeah. You could have full ADHD detailed person standing in front of you and then you go to touch ‘em and there’s nothing there.
Jordan:
Classic Victorian child. That’s also a popular one.
Lex:
Yeah, there’s a lot of different kinds of ghosts. But I feel like the general thing is incorporeal. And dead.
Jordan:
And I feel like haunting. Haunting is a significant part of being a ghost.
Lex:
Yeah. How could I forget? That’s the whole thing. Right? That’s the whole point is to haunt.
Jordan:
Whether or not it’s antagonistic, I would say. I think there’s room for both, but either way it involves kind of fucking shit up.
Lex:
Yeah. Yeah. And it’s usually about unfinished business, right? Also, I’m thinking cuz those traits are pretty basic, but that’s kind of it. Bing bang boom, it’s the ghost. But my thing that makes me think that ghosts probably would have ADHD is that ghosts who are still here, right, they haven’t passed on, it’s cuz they have quote unquote unfinished business cuz they forgot to do stuff. Right? So they forgot about it. And then also when you think about the way that they tried to treat illnesses in the past and that ghosts, you know, I think specifically you got ghosts in your blood, you should do cocaine about it. So if the ghosts were a symptom of ADHD and other mental illnesses that we didn’t necessarily understand, it does lead me to think, well fuck, maybe ghosts just have it, they’re just fucking born with it. You know? Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe she’s a fucking ghost and she’s got ADHD.
Jordan:
A ghost with ADHD. I hate that we were on the exact same page there.
Lex (00:43:28):
Of Maybelline?
Jordan:
No. Of just the entire thesis statement. The reason that they’re still ghosts is cuz they have unfinished business and the reason they have unfinished business is cuz they forgot to do it in their human life. Yep.
Lex:
Yeah. And I mean, we could be wrong. I feel like I would put money on most ghosts having ADHD, but I feel like ghosts are one of the things that could be different. Cause they’re so varied.
Jordan:
There are other reasons to have unfinished business. Yeah. There’s many ghost options. You’re correct.
Lex:
But the likelihood, fucking high as hell. So, I mean, I feel pretty good about that.
Jordan:
I feel pretty good about that too.
Lex:
Whether it’s hyperactive, combined, or inattentive. I think they can run the gamut.
Jordan:
Just all the different shapes. Yep. Yep. That feels good. That feels organic.
Lex (00:44:15):
Sweet. Tight. What do we got next?
Jordan:
Zombies.
Lex:
Zombies. Okay. They don’t have brains.
Jordan:
Yes. Well-
Lex:
But they eat brains.
Jordan:
I think they do have brains. They’re just infected with zombie.
Lex:
Fair. And then they also want to eat brains.
Jordan:
Yes. They want to eat brains.
Lex:
“Infected with zombie.” Sorry, I’m just kind of processing the words you said with your mouth.
Jordan:
I did say that.
Lex:
Infected with zombie?
Jordan:
Yes.
Lex :
Okay.
Jordan:
I would argue that that is a pretty significant component of many pieces of zombie media. That it’s infection based.
Lex:
Okay. Yeah. An infection that causes zombieism. Infected with zombie is the most incorrect way to say it, just feels so weird and wrong and as a Resident Evil player from a young age, like, I’m sorry, they’re what?
Jordan:
Yeah. I will fully admit that zombies are not really in my wheelhouse. So Yeah. You take the wheel here.
Lex:
Okay, so when I think zombies, dead. Undead. So dead. But still mobile. They have their own brains, but they do love those sweet brains. They crave those sweet, sweet brains.
Jordan:
I feel like they’re similar to mummies.
Lex:
Yeah. But so mummies, I feel like they’re kind of an in between, not in between, but they’re similar to mummies, right, in that they’re undead, slow moving typically. But then you also have zombies that are like fucking zoomy zombies. And you can only get ’em with a headshot and nothing else. Right? There’s no other way to take those bad boys down.
Jordan:
Yeah. Well, I think mummies are usually justifiably antagonistic. It’s usually cuz someone’s stealing their shit or trying to eat them, Victorians.
Lex:
Or also just they woke them up. You know what I mean? Just let ’em sleep.
Jordan:
Mummies mind their own business. Zombies start shit.
Lex:
They do. I was kind of thinking, I don’t know, I’m tempted to say that zombies don’t have ADHD because they’re persistent.
Jordan:
Yeah. And antagonistic.
Lex:
And antagonistic. Yeah. And they want to eat people.
Jordan:
Yeah.
Lex:
And they’re more a metaphor for being one of the many. And so I think that, even metaphorically, they don’t have it. You know what I mean? That’s kind of how I’m feeling about it. I don’t know. They’re zombies, they’re undead. They aren’t really, it’s kind of like they have a brain but they don’t really have a brain. You know what I mean? All they think about is how they want more brain. And how, oh shit, there’s a wall in front of me. I guess I’ll just keep running into it.
Jordan:
It’s more of a special interest than a hyperfixation. Yeah.
Lex:
Yeah. Yeah. That’s fair. That’s so valid.
Jordan:
So zombies are a no.
Lex:
I’m gonna say zombies are a no.
Jordan:
Zombies are a no. I feel that feels right.
Lex:
I feel like some zombie passionate person is gonna be like, “fuck you.”
Jordan:
Oh, sure.
Lex:
“Zombies have ADHD. I know it.”
Jordan:
I think maybe if you had ADHD in life and then you died, or you died and got reanimated, or you got bit and became a zombie then zombies can have ADHD.
Lex:
But it’s not a facet of that. Yeah.
Jordan:
Yeah.
Lex:
Okay. This last category is a big one.
Jordan:
It is. And I will also acknowledge that there are real ones, so we’re not talking about those people.
Lex (00:47:58):
Yeah. No. The last category is witches. So I guess let’s talk traits. Shall we narrow it down to classic monster witch? ‘Cause I think that’s gonna be the way to go. Yes. Because like you said, there are a lot of people who practice different types of magics and witchcraft and other things and we’re not knocking that. I guess we could have said that about vampirism. There are people who drink other people’s blood and have medical vampirism. We weren’t talking about you either.
Jordan:
What? Is that a thing?
Lex:
Yeah. It’s usually very, very niche mental illness. Sort of thing that they put on criminal minds on a Halloween episode, you know, of like, there are people who drank other people’s blood.
Jordan:
Oh, I know about that. Yeah.
Lex:
Because they’re anemic. Yeah. And so it is a problem with them and they find the wrong solution.
Jordan:
But it doesn’t give you the classic vampire pros or cons. No. Okay. No, that’s fair.
Lex):
But that’s the other thing, right? So many of these myths and monsters and lore, it’s so deeply intertwined with actual human history and actual human behavior. And so they really are a reflection of culture. Of people.
Jordan:
Yeah. Monsters inherently are.
Lex (00:49:15):
Yeah. Monsters are inherently yeah.
Jordan:
Monsters are inherently. I would amend that monsters are inherently hell yeah.
Lex:
Monsters are inherently hell yeah.
Jordan:
Hell yeah! Let’s talk about witches. Yes.
Lex:
Okay, so traits. Green skin.
Jordan:
Green skin. Pointy hat.
Lex:
Warts.
Jordan:
Warts.
Lex:
Old.
Jordan:
Old. May or may not eat children.
Lex:
May or may not eat children.
Jordan:
I think that they’re kind of inscrutable behavior. Sometimes it’s helpful, sometimes it’s not.
Lex:
Yeah. Definitely walking that line of like, am I evil or good. Both.
Jordan:
Very internally motivated.
Lex:
Fly on brooms.
Jordan:
Fly on brooms, have cats.
Lex:
Usually ravens. Yeah.
Jordan:
Cauldron, make potions.
Lex:
Yeah. They can make potions…
Jordan:
What are you thinking? What groundbreaking discovery have you sussed out?
Lex:
I don’t think it’s groundbreaking. But with the potions, the cauldron, I was just thinking about how witches are like magical pharmacists. But with the chaos and the sort of erratic behavior, it kind of brings me back to the werewolves, right, of maybe some sort of ADHD combined type, where it’s not necessarily intentional. They’re just kind of doing whatever and it seems very erratic and strange to other people. But if witches have ADHD, they’re people who are seasoned and have had ADHD for a long time and are able to help other people.
Jordan:
And I think that that’s another crucial part of the witch genre. Covens.
Lex:
That’s true. Community.
Jordan:
Community!
Lex:
Yeah. We got community, we’ve got flexibility and sort of just an ability to do everything.
Jordan:
Yeah. Kind of that jack of all trades zone, which feels very ADHD to me.
Lex:
It does. And also when I think about an old woman who lives in the woods and then sometimes goes to meet up her other old lady friends and dance naked under the moonlight, my first instinct is not, yes, a neurotypical. So something’s going on there. And I’m inclined to say that it’s probably combined type ADHD. What do you think?
Jordan:
I’m fully on board that those are not neurotypical traits. I think it’s a mix. I think that there’s a lot of community knowledge there and I think that there’s some witches who are, you know, inattentive and they may be more of the, like, I’m in the cat’s garden. Like, I am the one who is losing my spell books all the time and making new stuff up. You might have the witch who is more hyperactive and they’re the one who’s like, yeah, let’s dance in the moonlight. Let’s do that shit. I think that you have to have-
Lex:
A lot of facets. So they have all types of ADHD. But do all have ADHD?
Jordan:
Absolutely.
Lex:
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I guess, if you get to the point of being a witch, you only get there through various special interests. So, kind of speaks for itself. Hell yeah. Monsters are inherently hell yeah.
Jordan:
Monsters are inherently hell yeah. Can I actually circle back really quick to ghosts?
Lex:
Yes.
Jordan
What would happen if a ghost and or ghost adjacent spirit possessed somebody with ADHD? Because I have a theory.
Lex:
Okay. What are you thinking? Because I’m not totally sure where you’re headed with this. So I’d love to hear more.
Jordan:
That’s fair. I’m curious about your genuine thoughts. I don’t think much would happen cuz it would be one of two things. One, either this person has ADHD and they’re already zoning out or doing weird stuff or staying up too late and being really loud. So you wouldn’t really notice a difference or the ghost would just not be able to hang on, you know, you lose so much stuff in your brain. You’d just go. You need a folder with everything else that I will never remember again.
Lex:
Do you think possessions can’t happen to people with ADHD because they can’t really grasp on to anything solidly? That’s fucking hilarious.
Jordan:
I believe it. That ghost lives in the same folder as the 1:00 PM meeting I absolutely had today and didn’t log onto because I was too busy thinking about the fish tank.
Lex:
Yeah. Ten out of ten.
Jordan:
Thank you. So there you have it.
Lex:
That’s incredible. I mean, yeah. I feel pretty good about this research. It’s been very well thought out. We’ve taken our time with it. No snap decisions made here.
Jordan:
Nope. Nope. We’ll publish the full bibliography on the website.
Lex:
Yeah. It’ll be in APA format. Yeah. Well maybe Chicago style. We’ll see.
Jordan:
No MLA?
Lex:
No, fuck MLA. Yeah.
Jordan:
None of the sources are Wikipedia at all.
Lex:
No, none of them. Hell yeah. So this is the part of the show where we’re done with the main segment. We go over to a trampoline called the Dopamine Trampoline. We hop up on it, we tell you about things that make us, you know, happy.
Jordan:
Half the dopamines.
Lex:
Whether that’s a hyper fixation or a special interest or just something that, you know, made me smile. We’ll talk about it.
Jordan:
Yeah. It’s like trick or treat, but the treat is brain chemicals.
Lex (00:54:38):
Yeah. And it’s immediate because it’s happening right now. What’s your DT, Jordan?
Speaker 2:
My DT is pretty short.
Lex :
Yeah.
Jordan :
Pretty short and sweet today. In fact, I’d say it’s probably under a minute, content-wise. As of yesterday night, Penn Badgley is on TikTok.
Lex:
Forgot- I forgot. I was like, “that is your DT.”
Jordan:
I can’t really articulate why that delights me so much cuz I’ve seen a couple things that he’s in. One of them was You and that was a deeply emotionally scarring experience. I only watched a season and a half of it. There’s three soon to be four. I saw two episodes of Gossip Girl and I think that’s probably where 50% of the humor’s coming from cuz it’s like that guy now, but just not what I expected. A, kind of forgot about him and B, here are two videos up right now and I don’t wanna spoil ’em too much. One of them is a Taylor Swift song that he’s acting out. So that’s delightful. And the other one is a very literal response to a comment. So the interaction possibility that that has already set up is wild.
Lex:
Yeah. And for context, the Taylor Swift one, the aforementioned Taylor Swift TikTok, he is dressed up as Joe from You.
Jordan:
Oh, is he?
Lex:
Yeah. With that baseball hat, that’s what’s happening. That’s why the like, “who’s the problem? It’s you.” And it’s his whole sort of refrain of like, “please stop romanticizing this character that I play because he is so fucked up. Please.”
Jordan:
Gotcha. He just wears such normal guy clothes. Aside from the murdering and the obviously completely rotten brain and soul. He’s just a guy, you know?
Lex:
And that’s why it’s scary.
Jordan:
Yes. That’s why it’s terrifying.
Lex:
But also why it’s so fucking funny.
Jordan:
He just looks like such a guy that I didn’t even clock that. I was just like, Penn Badgley is just in his apartment-
Lex:
Oh. That’s why I started laughing.
Jordan:
-enjoying the new album.
Lex:
Oh my God. No. That’s why I started laughing ‘cause I was like, L-O-L. Oh my God.
Jordan:
That’s even better cuz, also good point. Stop doing that shit.
Lex:
It’s so fucking, oh my God. Well thank you. That’s a great DT. Ten outta ten.
Jordan:
Yeah. My pleasure. What do you got for us?
Lex (00:56:57):
I got a real short one too. Brilliant. It’s that quote by Guillermo del Toro that we were having trouble with earlier or that I was talking about earlier. He gave it in a speech at the Golden Globes in, I wanna say, 2018 for the Shape of Water when he was accepting that award. But the quote is “since childhood I’ve been faithful to monsters. I have been saved and absolved by them because monsters, I believe, are patron saints of our blissful imperfection and they allow and embody the possibility of failing”. So it just gets me. I have it on my screen at work. So that quote just kind of hits me in the face every day. And I feel like I’ve talked about it on the show before, maybe in another Halloween episode probably, but it just really, I have a lot of passionate feelings about monsters as a concept and about horror and why humans like it so much. And it’s all just really fascinating to me on an esoteric anthropological thought level, but also on a very visceral, relatable feelings, heart level. Do you know what I mean? So I love that quote. Love it with my whole heart. But yeah. Thanks for tuning in everybody. Let’s wrap it up.
Jordan:
Let’s wrap it up. Yeah. I think if anyone is going to be appreciative of a patron saint of blissful imperfection and the possibility of failing, I know, I appreciate that. And I don’t think that I’m the only one.
Lex:
Yeah. I mean, same. Yeah. Yeah. Mood. Yep. Mood.
Jordan:
All right. Well thanks for tuning in for this Halloween episode. If you’ve plans tonight, stay safe. Nobody’s putting drugs in your candy. People don’t give away free drugs. That’s all I have. Should we sign it out?
Lex:
Let’s sign it out.
Jordan:
This has been Or, Learn Parkour from Wholehearted Production Company.
Lex:
You can find us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and most other places cool people listen to podcasts.
Jordan:
Special thanks to Krizia Perito for our cover art design. You can find her at Petalhop. That’s P-E-T-A-L-H-O-P – the cats just knocked something over, but we’re gonna keep going- on Instagram, Twitter, and Etsy.
Lex:
Yeah. Thank you as well to Tom Rosenthal for our intro and outro song. There is a Dark Place off of the album Keep a Private Room Behind the Shop.
Jordan:
You can follow us on the sosh meeds. We are @orlearnparkour on Twitter, @wearewpc on Instagram and at wearewpc.com. Cryptids, hit us up.
Lex:
Yeah. And if you need to find links to that, they’re in our episode description as well as links to our sources and transcripts.
Jordan:
They sure are. If you enjoy this podcast and would like to hear more, now is a great time to click follow, click subscribe, all that good stuff. If you really like this podcast and wanna start your own, you can click the Buzzsprout affiliate link in, again, our show notes. You get a great website. We’ve been hosting the podcast with Buzzsprout the last three years, and they’re wonderful, very reasonably priced. They have a lot of great resources. You get a little discount, we get a little discount, keeps our lights on and join the podcasters club
Lex:
Yeah. Join the club. Or if you’re feeling a little less zealous about it, but you still want to help out, you could support the show just by sharing it, word of mouth, with your friends, your enemies, your family, whatsoever. You know, just get it out there and if you’re feeling really generous, you could also donate to our Ko-fi and you can find a link to that on our Twitter, Instagram, or website.
Jordan:
You sure can. Do we have an outro question?
Lex:
I don’t think so. Just happy Halloween, everybody.
Jordan:
Happy Halloween.
Lex:
Hallowed be thy ween.
Jordan:
You’re gonna what?
Lex:
Hallowed be thy ween. I’m not doing anything. Your hallowed is being weened.
Jordan:
It’s already hallowed.
Lex:
It’s hallowed. Your ween is hallowed.
Jordan:
Thank you.
Lex:
You’re welcome.
Jordan:
I’m Jordan.
Lex:
I’m Lex.
Jordan:
This has been Or, Learn Parkour. See you in two weeks.