[Intro audio: “There is a Dark Place,” by Tom Rosenthal]
Jordan:
Hi, I’m Jordan.
Lex:
And I’m Lex.
Jordan:
And this is Or, Learn Parkour.
Lex:
It’s a podcast about ADHD done by two people who have ADHD. And one of them also has a sinus infection.
Jordan:
And I have extra ADHD cause I’ve been eating so many peppermints. There’s so much red dye in those.
Lex:
Is that supposed to cause ADHD?
Jordan:
Apparently.
Lex:
We’ve probably talked about that, huh?
Jordan:
Yep.
Lex:
Yeah. All right. Listen, I don’t know how we’ve gotten into the forties when it comes to numbers of episodes, but we’re here. Okay.
Jordan:
We are.
Lex:
And it’s been happening for so long now. I’m sorry, I can’t remember. I can’t remember. I don’t.
Jordan:
You don’t remember every single one of our now 43-plus episodes in vivid word-for-word detail?
Lex:
Absolutely not.
Jordan:
Me neither. That’s fine.
Lex:
Okay. Well, yeah, welcome to the show. It’s a Christmas special. Woo. Or holiday special, whatever. It doesn’t matter.
Jordan:
Seasons greasons.
Lex:
Seasons greasons.
Jordan:
Can you believe this is our third Christmas special?
Lex:
That’s so bananas.
Jordan:
Isn’t it?
Lex:
So, yeah. I mean, the thing is though, our Christmas specials have never really been Christmas specials.
Jordan:
I mean, last year’s was a pretty pretty close adaption of The Night Before Christmas, the poem.
Lex:
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Okay. It is exactly like that. Well, my segue was gonna be like, “until now because this year we’re bringing you right into the writer’s room.”
Jordan:
That’s true. You weren’t in the writer- well, we did do the director’s cut.
Lex:
We did. So see, we’re both wrong.
Jordan:
So for once in our lives, we’re consistent. We’re doing something similar to what we did before.
Lex:
Sort of, ish.
Jordan:
Kind of.
Lex:
We thought it would be funny to essentially write the plot of an ADHD Hallmark Christmas movie.
Jordan:
I love doing this generally. Please, somebody ask me about the plots for Hallmark Christmas movies that I have developed. I have so many ideas. Someone, some producer somewhere, please.
Lex:
Yeah, we do have a lot of ammo for this one. But doesn’t everybody? I feel like this is a pretty common thing, right? We all like to imagine our fun little spicy take on a Hallmark movie or a Christmas special or a holiday film.
Jordan:
I feel like they all do exactly what you want them to do. They’re super cheesy and they’re super festive, and you kind of know exactly what’s going to happen. And you watch it and your thirst for that is satisfied. But I don’t know about you, but I always watch that and I go, I think I could do better.
Lex:
Yeah. I think you could do better as well.
Jordan:
Well, thank you.
Lex:
Yeah.
Jordan:
It’s high praise.
Lex:
Okay.
Jordan:
So let’s do better.
Lex:
Yeah, let’s do better. Or at least attempt to. I don’t wanna set any standard here, you know. Let’s just lay that out there. Again, one of us has a sinus infection, so, you know.
Jordan:
How about this? Let’s do better than not making anything at all.
Lex:
Yeah, there you go. That’s a standard. I think.
Jordan:
Yeah. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.
Lex:
Honestly. Let’s talk about our schedule: It’s a surprise even to us. So, you know, we’re just doing what we can.
Jordan:
Thanks for sticking with us. We appreciate you all very much.
Lex:
Oh, so much. Before we really get this rig rolling and start talking about the feature film that we’re gonna spin into existence in like a half hour.
Jordan:
Produce and option.
Lex:
Before we get into that, do you wanna talk about-
Jordan:
Yes.
Lex:
We have some things coming up, my friends.
Jordan:
We sure do.
Lex:
First of all, we are gonna take our usual holiday break, so we will catch y’all in the new year after this one. And we hope y’all have a safe and happy holiday and all that good shit. And we’ll probably tell you that at the end of the episode too. But I just wanna get it out there in case we forget.
Jordan:
Fair. Happy holidays, as we said before, seasons greasons, and we’re gonna relax a little bit and enjoy a lot of holiday food. Hope y’all will get to relax a little bit. Enjoy some holiday food if you would like, or other kinds of food. Or don’t. It’s up to you. It’s not our business.
Lex:
What is happening? Are you okay? You’re catering to literally everybody right now. What’s happening?
Jordan:
I have no idea.
Lex:
Okay. You know what? No, you can’t fucking relax, audience because we have a job for you.
Jordan:
We do. Oh, that’s a good point.
Lex:
Yeah. That’s why I’m like, what the fuck are you saying? No, shush, we’re taking a break.
Jordan:
Now it’s your turn to make podcast content. It’s on you.
Lex:
Would you too like to be a piece of shit? Amazing. We’re giving you that opportunity here and now. Jordan, tell ’em about it.
Jordan:
So one thing that we are going to do, the thing that we are going to do in the new year is come back from our break with an episode where we hear from you. We are here talking. We make this podcast and every episode we talk about our Dopamine Trampoline and what is giving us dopamine, what is making our day, our week, our year, our life. Many of you know the drill by now. If not, you will by the end of this episode. However, we are going to open up the phone lines so that listeners, just like you, can support community radio broadcasting.
Lex:
We’re not a radio. What?
Jordan:
Community of two on-demand radio, on-demand broadcasting. That’s where the “cast” in podcast comes from. Did you know that?
Lex:
Okay. So let’s tell them what we’re asking them to do. We are gonna have a phone line open so that you can call in.
Jordan:
Yes.
Lex:
And depending on what you say cause I’m not gonna lie, we’re not just gonna throw anything out there. Like if you call in with a bomb threat. A: what the fuck is wrong with you? And B: no thank you.
Jordan:
Believe it or not, we have standards sometimes.
Lex:
Sometimes. hard to believe, I know.
Jordan:
But we do. What we would love to hear from you though, is your Dopamine Trampoline. You can also send us an email with that if you would prefer to. But we have a phone line set up. You can call, leave a message and your recordings will have the opportunity to end up in our first episode of 2023.
Lex:
Or second episode.
Jordan:
Or second.
Lex:
Because depending on how many of you call in.
Jordan:
That’s fair. That’s a good point.
Lex:
We have to reach a cap to have the amount of time. So unless one of y’all wants to call and leave an hour long message, I’m not selling this very well.
Jordan:
Your message could end up in one of our 2023 episodes. It’ll just be a fun secret little surprise. Which one?
Lex:
Yeah. So what are we asking them to call in about?
Jordan:
Their Dopamine Trampoline.
Lex:
Right. Okay.
Jordan:
And the number for that, which is on our website, it will be in the episode notes, it will be on whatever sosh meeds are left standing by the time this episode drops.
Lex:
Yeah, they’re dropping like flies.
Jordan:
Yeah. Anyways, that number is 312 625 3760. Again, that number is 312 625 3760.
Lex:
You know, I really appreciate that you repeated it. That’s so nice of you. But I will say it’s not like this is a phone recording system where you only get to hear the voicemail recording thing one time and then they just set you loose. This is a podcast. So you could pause it and rewind. But I feel like saying it twice is fine. That’s fine.
Jordan:
I really should have said it a third time. I feel like there’s a rule of three thing we’re fucking up right now.
Lex:
But I feel like that’s more for public speaking.
Jordan:
That’s fair.
Lex:
Like when you’re in front of an audience, physically sitting in front of you.
Jordan:
Friends, Romans, countrymen.
Lex:
Comrades.
Jordan:
Give us your Dopamine Trampolines.
Lex:
Please.
Jordan:
Please, we would love to hear from you. We appreciate y’all tuning into us and hearing ours. It’s a very fun part of the show that always, I don’t know, I guess I can’t speak for you, but it brings me dopamine in and of itself.
Lex:
No, I fucking hate talking about what I like. Me, sharing my interests? Pshh.
Jordan:
Well then you don’t have to do it.
Lex:
I’m kidding.
Jordan:
I know, I know. But as much as we love it, we also love hearing from you guys, you folks, that also makes my day when people reach out.
Lex:
Same.
Jordan:
Not to get too sappy about it here, but we enjoy hearing from you guys so we wanted to put an episode together to put the ball in your court and hear what is bringing y’all joy. Especially in the beginning of the year. That winter zone is kind of garbo. It’s kind of garbo.
Lex:
It’s big fat garbo.
Jordan:
Stinky.
Lex:
Yeah. Stinky heaps of garbo.
Jordan:
So let’s all share something that brings us dopamine and pass those good neurochemicals around. Yeah. So that’s it. I’m not gonna repeat the number again. At this point, if you need to hear this again, you gotta rewind it. That’s on you now.
Lex:
That’s what I said the first time. But thank you.
Jordan:
We’re repeating it two times though. Didn’t you agree that that was the-
Lex:
Fucking hell. Oh my God. Okay.
Jordan:
All right. So, Hallmark movie. I think the most important question to start out with is between the small town person who loves Christmas and the big city Scrooge, which person has ADHD?
Lex:
Okay, hold on. We’re opening a whole can of worms here, okay, hold on. Not every Hallmark movie has to be some form of regional classism. Okay. So I vote that it’s not a big city, small town dichotomy.
Jordan:
Okay.
Lex:
I would just like to say cause, also, I don’t know, both of them could have ADHD. I feel like-
Jordan:
That’s an option.
Lex:
Probably honestly representatively. What if it’s not necessarily one person with ADHD and one person without. But one person with hyperactive ADHD and another person with inattentive ADHD.
Jordan:
Okay. Okay. I like where this is going.
Lex:
Yeah. And I realize that I’ve put a kibosh on small town versus big city. What other ideas did you have before I just sort of start stomping every sand castle you build?
Jordan:
No, this is Kill Your Darlings, right? This is the writer’s room, we are here to craft and I trust you to tell me if my ideas are garbo. That’s what we’re here for.
Lex:
We’re here for the garbo.
Jordan.
We’re here for the garbo. We’re here to sift through the garbo to find the diamond in the rough.
Lex:
Yeah. We’re trying to find the least moldy loaf of bread in the big stinky garbo pile. So hit me.
Jordan:
So I think I’m not attached to this, but I think generally there is one person who loves Christmas and one person who isn’t super hot on it.
Lex:
Absolutely. Yes. I’m behind that.
Jordan:
Yeah. I’m thinking of Dolly Parton’s Christmas movie. That’s one town. It’s less of the big city thing cause everyone’s in the same place. That’s kind of a part of it. I don’t wanna spoil it for anyone, but it is on Netflix. It’s darling. But all that to say, one person is into Christmas, one person is not as much into Christmas. My gut instinct, I’m just gonna throw this out here. The person who loves Christmas, I think that they really like snow globes. That’s a thing. I don’t know if they’re a collector, or they run a snow globe museum, or they make them, or we go a little fantasy, maybe Claymation zone and they’re in a snow globe.
Lex:
Okay. Okay, Wes. All right, Mr. Anderson, let’s take it down a notch.
Jordan:
…I deserved that.
Lex:
So they’re in a snow globe.
Jordan:
We’re just gonna go straight to that one. Huh?
Lex:
Well, why not? You laid it out there and I’m gonna pick it up because it’s the closest one to me. It rolled the furthest. So, okay. They live in a snow globe. So jot that down. But we zoom into said snow globe. So I’m imagining if there’s someone who has a snow globe shop, is it like a map maker makes globes because if they’re living in a snow globe, see now that’s my primary concern with this movie, I’m like, philosophically-
Jordan:
It does narrow our setting down quite a bit. No. Okay, I back it up. I back it up. I think we’re gonna stick with the snow globe creator or collector thing. But end credit scene zooming in on a snow globe in their collection that is them.
Lex:
Okay. So you just want the image of them being cute in a snow globe? I get it. Signed, sealed, delivered. I’m in. Okay.
Jordan:
Great. Great. So we have our ending. Where do we start?
Lex:
Oh, isn’t that how most of the greats work? It’s not. It’s not, but it is a way.
Jordan:
If we were working how the great writers worked, I would be way less sober right now.
Lex:
Yeah. I would be so hopped up on cocaine, probably, I don’t know. I’d be like, what sinus infection? I dunno.
Jordan:
So Owen Wilson plays who?
Lex:
I blame you for giving me Wes Anderson energy and then me just coming in hot with Owen Wilson because what a duo.
Jordan:
You’ve lived with me for four years. You should expect Wes Anderson energy by now.
Lex:
Yeah, that’s fair. Okay.
Jordan:
Remember when the first thing we wrote together, like four years ago, specifically has a line making fun of the character who was based on me about being too Wes Anderson?
So we have a snow globe collector or creator.
Lex:
Yeah. Well, I kind of like the idea of one person having a snow globe shop. Right?
Jordan:
So they make and sell the snow globes.
Lex:
Well, okay. So that’s where I’m like, I don’t know if they actually make the snow globes. I’m imagining that they maybe have an associate, like they’re in a small artsy town. Let’s say, you know, let’s switch it up. It’s not small town, rural America. We’re not gonna do that. It’s not a big city either. Let’s say it’s a coastal town.
Jordan:
Yes. I love me a good coastal town.
Lex:
Yeah. And who doesn’t love a beachy Christmas, you know? So-
Jordan:
Like a little Oregon coast or maybe we go a little north, somewhere in that zone. Is that the kind of coastal or are we thinking Maine, Massachusetts places with lobster?
Lex:
I was fully going to the Carolinas. With Myrtle Beach Christmas. However, I’m not married to that idea. I just like the idea of palm trees with Christmas lights on them.
Jordan:
That’s great. Let’s roll with that. I love it. South Carolina.
Lex:
But there’s a snow globe shop. There’s a person who’s, ‘cause I imagine there’s a lot of work that goes into the making of a snow globe. Lots of components. And so what I think is that maybe cause it’s a small artistic town and they use all these locally sourced bullshit whatever whatever that the person who does the actual glass blowing of the bulbs, the globes is a crochety person who has a glassblowing studio and they do other glassblowing things, right? But they have a soft spot for the snow globe shop owner. They’ve never been super close, but they’ve always-
Jordan:
Melts their cold heart a little bit.
Lex:
Yeah. Just a little. And obviously there has to be a catalyst for them to spend more time together. Do you think there’s some sort of tourism time coming up for- I imagine, if it’s a beachy town in South Carolina or some shit-
Jordan:
The winter is probably a big season for them.
Lex:
No, no, no. Because it’s cold and it’s not actually that warm even in winter.
Jordan:
I’ve never been to South Carolina, so.
Lex:
Right. Okay. Sorry. So sorry. Yeah. Even in Florida, it’s not hot and beachy all year round.
Jordan:
Okay. So that would be a slower, maybe a tough season.
Lex:
Yes. However, if they live in this art town and everyone wants to go and say it’s a cute little coastal town, people want to go there during the Christmas holidays to shop local, support local artists.
Jordan:
It’s kind of a Leavenworth destination.
Lex:
Yeah. Yeah. Or like a, for closer to where we are now, more of a Frankenmuth situation.
Jordan:
No idea what that is.
Lex:
It’s a city.
Jordan:
That’ll be for our Midwest listeners. The Leavenworth reference will be for our Washington listeners.
Lex:
Yes. That’s what I’m saying.
Jordan:
Balancing it out.
Lex:
That’s what I said. I was adding the other ones. Oh my god. Okay.
Jordan:
We got there.
Lex:
Sure. Yes. Yeah. So, small art town. Christmas. Or a holiday season generally, right? So I would imagine that the person who makes the snow globes, their talent lies in the actual crafting of the scenes and the globes.
Jordan:
The scenery, the blends of the glitter. Yes. I have two ideas.
Lex:
Oh, I’m excited.
Jordan:
One, I think we’re gonna run into some bumps in the road in terms of this love story. I think that the person who gets them through it and gives them a little push is the chime maker who writes the little snow globe music box songs, you know?
Lex:
Okay. Okay.
Jordan:
I’m just throwing it out there. Take it or leave it.
Lex:
Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Those are the super special snow globes cause there are tons of snow globes that don’t have music boxes in them. I feel like, you know, it’s someone who doesn’t come in quite as often, but I do like that.
Jordan:
Yeah. Just the person you call for special occasions. But yeah. And two, I thought of this, it might be really dark because I didn’t quite think about the severity of molten glass burns, but I was like, maybe there’s a hurt/comfort thing here. But I’m saying it out loud and I think it might be an ouchie, maybe it’s broken glass. Maybe it’s a cut.
Lex:
Yeah. I mean, I was imagining maybe more of an emotional thing, right? Like maybe the somewhat volatile ex of the shop owner comes around at one point and smashes a bunch of glass on the floor. We shoot it like slow motion. Maybe there’s some dark sounding, vaguely ominous tinkly music to go along with that theme. Where it’s heavily implied that this person did some bad things. But this is a lighthearted Christmas movie, so we’re not gonna dig too deep into it, what you said you want.
Jordan:
Oookay.
Lex:
Sorry.
Jordan:
No, I mean, I can see it. I can visualize it.
Lex:
That’s what we’re here for.
Jordan:
What we’re here for. What if there is space next door to the snow globe shop that is opening up and the globe crafter wants to buy it, but money’s a little bit tight, so they’re relying on a really good snow globe season. And so maybe that’s why the chimes guy is around a little bit more. Cause they wanna make some fancier ones. Big ticket items, really branching out here. And then a bunch of snow globes get smashed. And so that’s a bummer in and of itself, but it’s also-
Lex:
A catalyst .
Jordan:
Yeah. “We just lost a bunch of product. We’re not gonna be able to make that money.” What are the stakes if we can’t buy that space? How do we feel?
Lex:
Yeah. I’m curious about the resolution and I’m curious to see how ADHD comes into it because we have crafted a delightful story, but I am realizing there has been not one lick of-
Jordan:
Did we happen to get off topic?
Lex:
No, I don’t think we got off topic. We’re creating a story. Really just soaking it up and really just, I think we just got caught on snow globes and really went for it, honestly.
Jordan:
Okay. So how is ADHD involved?
Lex:
How is ADHD involved, do you ask?
Jordan:
I do.
Lex:
Well let’s start with going back to the, one of them has hyperactive. One of them has inattentive. An alternative fun pairing would be, one of them has ADHD and one of them is autistic. That’s also a very fun pairing. I like my gut feeling. And you can totally fight me on this if you feel otherwise. Cause again, it’s just a gut feeling. I don’t really have the explanation for it at this point, so I don’t actually know if it’s a bias or just a gut thing, you know? I don’t know.
Jordan:
Throw it at me.
Lex:
The person who owns the shop has ADHD. And the person who makes the snow globe globes, the glass blower, has autism.
Jordan:
Yeah.
Lex:
Yes. Do these characters represent us in any way, shape, or form? No. Huh? Me being antisocial and wanting to just make my art in peace.
Jordan:
With fire.
Lex:
With fire, yeah. Hot stuff. Yeah.
Jordan:
Me enjoying crafting really intricate Christmas scenes with a lot of glitter. That’s a little more specific. I don’t know if that’s an ADHD thing, but-
Lex:
Either way, targeted attacks on both of us that we’ve set up. Which is kind of just par for the course. I think anytime we write anything remotely fictional, we’re like, ha ha, this is so fun. And then when the themes of our everyday life just weave their way into our writing without fail because of our internal biases and psyches.
Jordan:
Because that’s kind of how art works a little bit.
Lex:
Yeah. You know how art works and it’s like, oh, oh, we’ve hurt ourselves.
Jordan:
I don’t even know what that noise was.
Lex:
Yeah. It was truth. It was the truth.
Jordan:
Okay. Thank you.
Lex:
You know? So yeah. I don’t know, how’s that feel so far?
Jordan:
Feels good. Feels good. Yeah. So how is ADHD involved now? What does that do? How does that affect the way the characters- Wait, idea.
Lex:
Okay.
Jordan:
Something terrible happens.
Lex:
Great.
Jordan:
The snow globes get smashed.
Lex:
Yeah.
Jordan:
And they’re able to either make more snow globes or make something else that sells really well out of a bunch of leftover craft supplies that the ADHD person bought for another project before they were into snow globes and forgot that they had.
Lex:
Yeah. Fuck off. Yeah. There it is. Bing bang, boom. You got it. Nailed it.
Jordan:
Great.
Lex:
Crushed it.
Jordan:
Great.
Lex:
Okay. Great. Well, okay. So what was the project that they started beforehand then?
Jordan:
What? I guess my question is, I feel like it has to be something that them and the glass blower can work on together.
Lex:
Together. Yeah.
Jordan:
So what might be up their alley?
Lex:
Okay. So, okay. So what if we back it up a little bit and they had been working on together. I think they end up making snow globes because I think that, but the snow globes are a new different shape. That’s not globe shape. And I think it’s probably some sort of glass, like a cup of some kind that they had been experimenting on and something that they made a lot of and then maybe they had a falling out or the person with the shop got assigned a contract for the snow globes or, you know, some sort of thing where it’s like, okay, well we have all this stuff that we made, shit, you know because I feel like for glass blowing for how long it takes and because it’s a movie and of course this would all happen on Christmas Eve or some shit, you know? Although I guess we could remove that problem from our own path. And just say that this happens earlier in the month. So that the person who’s glass blowing has more time.
Jordan:
Yeah. Or maybe it’s something that they made for a project. Maybe it’s just their passion project, something they really like to make. Their special interest.
Lex:
Yeah. I’m imagining that they make glasses that are actual real glass. But they are done in a way that it seals the liquid with the glitter on the inside. But instead of being plastic like that, it’s glass. So it’s like a fancy glitter cup. Like fancy glitter cups. Because I’m like, what’s the same thing as a snow globe that’s not the same thing.
Jordan:
Same thing as the snow globe.
Lex:
But it’s not the same thing. But it’s similar enough that I feel like it’d be like, this is a whole new way to do a snow globe.
Jordan:
Oh my gosh. You know the cups where you drink the liquid and then there’s like a little shape or dye animal or something in the bottom. What if it’s those?
Lex:
Oh, that’s cute.
Jordan:
What if they end up making those? And also, you know, the glitter bottles that people make that you shake up and then you watch the glitter sit and it calms you. So it’s also a fidget toy.
We did really good!
Lex:
Wow. I guess that’s it. And then they fall deeply in love during the movie. Of course.
Jordan:
Yeah. I feel like there’s gotta be some sort of… the romance of it happens along the way. But I can tell you about how the crafts go.
Lex:
Yeah. No, I mean, there’s absolutely a scene where the person, the glass blower, is like Patrick Swayze glass blowing, teaching the person. That’s in there like swimwear. You can’t stop me. You can’t stop me. It’s a movie. This is Hollywood, baby. We’re gonna take the risks. We’re gonna risk it for the biscuit on this one. We could make it in a stunt sort of thing. So that it’s so very obvious that there’s not just two people holding a flaming piece of glass on the end of a hot metal rod. So it shoots this way and then it shoots this way. You know what I mean? You never actually see the whole shot.
Jordan:
I mean, I feel like there can’t be a whole lot of actual glass blowing. Maybe we should have thought about that before.
Lex:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because if we’re pitching this to the whole world, not just Hallmark, right. We say Hallmark holiday Christmas movie because they’re the most famous brand for it. But Netflix has been dipping their toes in. And, Netflix, you know: a fuck ton of glass blowers.
Jordan:
That’s true. Maybe the snow globe person is being trained to do this because normally the other person would do it alone and they like working alone, but A: they have a deadline and B: they don’t actually- it turns out that they don’t mind working with this person so much. Yeah.
Lex:
And yes, they need extra help in the studio.
Jordan:
Maybe after there’s an awkward moment at the beginning where they invite the glass blower over for lunch or a party, a Christmas party or something. At the space where there’s food and they’re like, I can’t eat any of this. The texture’s bad. And they show up in the morning, for this 6:00 AM glass blowing, intensive, with the food that they went out of the way to figure out what the glass blower likes.
Lex:
Yeah. Absolutely.
Jordan:
If y’all didn’t know what my love language was before!
Lex:
Oh my God. Well I’m just thinking about the glass blower shows up to that party probably with flowers or something. You know, in thinking that they got invited to a date or something, but then it ends up being a party.
Jordan:
Oof.
Lex:
What? I’m trying to think of the most drama. I’m trying to get the most bang for your buck, audience. You’re welcome.
Jordan:
No, that’s why I said oof. That was a powerful oof.
Lex:
Yeah. No. We get it in there whenever we can. Okay. Well, I mean, I feel like we’ve really just kind of scratched the surface here, but unfortunately, like most people at this time of year, we have holiday plans.
Jordan:
We do. I feel like there’s gonna be a lot to come out of this. We have the basic structure. The glass blower and the Christmas-loving snow globe maker. They work next to each other. They kind of have a thing for each other, but it’s business. And then this terrible thing happens. They have to catch up to be able to buy the space and then maybe they don’t end up getting to buy the space, but they combine into one big space with the glass blower and the snow globe maker in one, and so they have a studio together.
Lex:
Gross.
Jordan:
I know.
Lex:
That’s cute though. That’s so cute though. Well, and the other thing is we can’t just give you all the whole movie right here, right now. That would be bad marketing.
Jordan:
Yeah. You gotta call your producers, you gotta call your directors. You gotta call your people in the industry and tell ’em you want to hear the rest of this. So they will pay us to write the rest of it. Cause right now we are actively losing money on this podcast. Woo woo! But we love making it anyways, so thanks for listening.
Lex:
Yeah. Nice work. Nice work. I feel pretty good about that.
Jordan:
I feel really good about that. I wanna watch this movie.
Lex:
I would like to make it very badly now. Please call us Netflix. Yeah. Hey, Netflix. You can call in along with the rest of our audience members.
Jordan:
You sure can. Let me repeat that number. It is 312 625 3760. Bam. Rule of threes. We did it. Let’s end the podcast.
Lex:
Anton’s Rule of threes.
Jordan:
Chekhov’s Netflix.
Lex:
Yeah. Chekhov’s Netflix.
Jordan:
No. It would be Chekhov’s Snow Globe, wouldn’t it?
Lex:
Chekhov’s Snow Globe.We’ll think about it. The title’s a work in progress.
Jordan:
Yeah. Oh no, I don’t want Chekhov’s Snow Globe for the title of it.
Lex:
Oh. Okay. Yeah. “If a snow globe appears it must break in the second half of the show.” Okay. Yes.
Jordan:
Do we wanna do a Dopamine Trampoline first?
Lex:
Honestly, I kind of am like, no because we want your Dopamine Trampoline, audience. If you’re wondering why we’re not doing a Dopamine Trampoline this episode, A: we’re very, very busy, obvi. But also B: this is motivation. Give us your dopamine. Let us feed off of your joy for once. That sounded really ungrateful.
Jordan:
No, we already did the Halloween episode.
Lex:
Yeah. No, this is just a challenge, you know, it’s a fun little challenge.
Jordan:
Minor double dopamine real quick. We did make gingerbread houses together and that was very fun.
Lex:
Oh yes. Speaking of designing very intricate Christmas scenes. Somebody’s a professional baker and cake decorator and it shows.
Jordan:
I think yours turned out really cute too. I like the Mothman in the-
Lex:
Oh, I wasn’t trying to knock myself down. You know, I don’t have the same level of talent, but I sure do have vision.
Jordan:
You do. Yeah.
Lex:
An all-white Mothman because we didn’t have any black frosting.
Jordan:
It’s covered in snow.
Lex:
Yeah. Covered in snow. A snowy Mothman. But we sure did have a lot of red sprinkles that I could use for eyes. Shall we end our podcast?
Jordan:
Let’s shall. All right. This has been Or, Learn Parkour from Wholehearted Production Company.
Lex:
You can find us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, wherever people find podcasts.
Jordan:
Special thanks to Krizia Perito for our cover art design. You can find her at Petalhop. That’s P-E-T-A-L-H-O-P on Instagram, Twitter, maybe, and Etsy.
Lex:
Yeah. Thank you as well to Tom Rosenthal for our intro and outro song. There is a Dark Place off of the album Keep a Private Room Behind the Shop.
Jordan:
You can follow us on the soshe meeds. We are @orlearnparkour on Instagram now. That’s changed. If you guys didn’t catch it in the last episode, we are @orlearnparkour on Instagram. We also have a website. It’s wearewpc.com.
Lex:
Yee fucking haw. We have links to all of that good shit in our episode description.
Jordan:
If you enjoy this podcast and wanna hear more, normally I do a spiel about Buzzsprout right now. But call us with your Dopamine Trampoline.
Lex:
Fucking call us with your Dopamine Trampoline.
Jordan:
We need your dopamine. Please call us. Leave a message. If you like this podcast and wanna hear more, do it. If you like this podcast and wanna hear yourself talk on it, do it. If you don’t like this podcast, do it cause then you don’t have to listen to us. please call us.
Lex:
If you’re a contrarian little bitch: do it. You won’t.
See. Got our bases covered.
Yeah. You could also give us money if you’re like, “I really don’t want to talk, let alone to you. Please leave me alone.” We’ll leave you alone if you give us money and you can donate to our Ko-fi. You can find that on our website or our Instagram.
Jordan:
You sure can. We got a little linktree and everything. Real quick, outro question: what’s your favorite Christmas song?
Lex:
My favorite Christmas song is actually Christmas Quiet by none other than Tom Rosenthal cause I’m a sad little bitch. Thank you Tom. Truly.
Jordan:
Truly. I’m gonna also be the worst and say all four movements of the Oh Hellos’ Family Christmas Album.
Lex:
Listen, Jordan got it on vinyl for us.
Jordan:
It makes me weak.
Lex:
It rips.
Jordan:
It’s so good.
Lex:
It’s so good. The Oh Hellos’ Christmas Album never fails.
Jordan:
Yes, Joy to the World did need to be in five-four. Thank you. I would’ve never known. Anyways. I’m Jordan.
Lex:
And I’m Lex.
Jordan:
Happy holidays. This has been Or, Learn Parkour. See you in 2023.
Lex:
Bye. Chrimbo my himbo.
Jordan:
Oh, we didn’t even get to that.
Lex:
We didn’t even get to Chrimbo my himbo.
Jordan:
I’m so sorry. That was a top-notch idea. That would’ve been the toy of the year.
Lex:
Would’ve been the toy of the year.
Jordan:
I’m so sorry. Do you wanna tell us about it?
You want me to stop recording?
Lex:
Let’s go. Let’s go hang out with our friends.